Sunday, April 22, 2007

Bending over Backwards to Enable a Father's Bad Behavior

I had to laugh yesterday seeing all the enablers in the media, women as well as men, bending over backwards to spin this incident favorable to Alex Baldwin, desperately trying to paint this jerk as a loving father. It’s not like Alex Baldwin has never been reported to have any anger management issues before this. It’s one of the reasons Kim Basinger stated for divorcing him in the first place. He’s has a history of bizarre outbursts such as punching walls on sets when the air conditioning isn't working properly, yelling and making verbal threats to reporters, even threatening to leave the US if Bush won the last election. He appears to be a bully in his public life and now we see it’s the same thing in his private life as well.

The damage was done by Baldwin, not the person who released this tape message of him calling his 11 year old daughter a pig and threatening her that he’s going to ‘straighten her out’ when he gets a hold of her on Friday. BTW, Baldwin didn’t even know how old his daughter is, that’s how connected he is to this poor kid.

Trying to paint this Alex Baldwin as the victim here of so-called ‘parental alienation’ is total crap. As even if it’s true, you certainly don’t attack an 11 year old for something that’s totally out of her control. This shows me unresolved anger management issues with Alex Baldwin here, not parental alienation. It’s my opinion that the real victims here are Kim Basinger and Ireland, who have had to tolerate a reign of terror from Alex Baldwin.

The courts have enabled Alex Baldwin to wage a six year custody battle against this mother and child attempting to wear Kim Basinger down by attrition. It’s outrageous that Baldwin has been allowed to do this. If Kim Basinger did release that tape (although it could have even been Ireland herself who managed to do it, she’s certainly old enough) I see it more as a cry for help to the American public. Clearly Basinger didn’t feel that Baldwin's outburst would receive the attention it merited and her daughter might not receive the protection she deserved from the courts. Thus, she took her case to the public and frankly, I’m glad she did. It’s good for us to know what mothers and children have to put up with in the court system today and it's good that the courts know we know...

The short-term damage of this situation is to this mother and daughter. Kim Basinger never had any other kids and probably never will after this experience. Not to mention Ireland, who will probably grow up to be like so many other young women of her class today, using all these odd method of creating a 'safe' family such as artificial insemination and/or running around doing single parent adoptions. Or the safest alternative, adopting a string of cats or dogs and crafting them into a family of sorts. But the long-term damage is to the millions of other young girls and women who see this going on and won’t be having any kids either due to our legal system empowering men to harass a mother and daughter in this fashion. As I've said before it’s one more nail in the coffin of western civilization.

Alec Baldwin's Threatening Message to Daughter

Posted Apr 19th 2007 3:03AM by TMZ Staff

Filed under: Celebrity Justice, Alec Baldwin

An enraged Alec Baldwin unleashed a volcanic tirade of threats and insults on his 11-year-old daughter, Ireland, calling her a "thoughtless little pig," and bashing her mother Kim Basinger -- and TMZ has obtained the whole thing unfiltered and raw. And we've learned, a family law judge was so alarmed after hearing the tape, she has temporarily barred Baldwin from having any contact with his child.


silverside said...

I too get very tired of all the excuses made for Mr. Baldwin.

My abusive ex tried to turn my daughter against me back when she was 4. He tried to set her up to do a tantrum at a pickup, then tape recorded it. To his disappointment, I stayed calm. The psychologist evaluating custody recognized it as a manipulative set up, but as he is aligned with the local fathers rights people, he gave my ex custody anyway.

So having gone through this, even IF Kim was contributing to the situation (and frankly I haven't seen any evidence that she was, other than Alec's say-so), it is still Alec's job to be a grownup and model some mature behavior.

As it is, he's simply proving that she has been right all along, that he's a bullying abuser.

Oh, for the end of my story. Ten years later, my daughter is disgusted with her dad. I got a glimpse of their house the other day during a pickup (dad and the girlfriend were not at home for once), and it was not fit for human habitation. My daughter is ashamed of the way she lives, and wants to move in with me, but is afraid of what Dad will do or say if she says she wants a change in placement.

With abusers, it is not uncommon for them to force the kids to mimic their hostility towards the mother.

But Alec has no evidence showing he's the victim here. If his daughter is rejecting him, it's because he acts like an a**shole towards her. Who likes that? Just the usual batterer who takes ZERO responsibility for his own actions, but always blaming somebody else.

JCortez said...

Hi NYMOM! I was so glad to come across your blog when conducting a search for “mothers against equal-custody”. I have been searching on google for the past 3 months trying to find a group of mothers that are sick of being tormented by their ex-husbands. I was so discouraged because I couldn’t find anything – no support groups – nothing, however these men have all these organizations/cults to condemn us woman for being mothers and having primary custody. I was asking myself… how could I contribute to fighting for us mothers that can’t take it anymore. I don’t have a lot of time because I work a full time job and provide for my daughters – evidentially these men have all the time in the world because they are constantly complaining and not focusing on their relationship with their children – it’s all about getting back at us women.

I am a re-married mother with 2 beautiful daughters battling an “Equal-Custody.Org” cult member (referring to my ex-husband). He is the creator and web master of (You need to take a look at this website – it makes me sick – he actually blasted me on their website last Friday because things did not go his way in Mediation). I have been divorced from my daughter’s biological father for over 6 years and this man just tortures us on a daily basis (my daughters and me). I had mediation with him last Friday because he was delinquent on back child support, has not paid his portion (50%) of medical/dental bills since Sept 2004, and still owes me money from the sale of our house, however he blames me for being greedy and alienating him from his daughters. I couldn’t believe it. This is also a man who never commits to his visits – how in the heck am I alienating him from his daughters. He wants to be treated as an equal parent – he needs to act like a parent first and then we can talk about equal rights. When I read all the articles on Alex Baldwin, I was amazed because I felt like I was reading my own situation on the website. It’s so ridiculous and you’re just tired of being blamed for everything. Anyway, I just needed to vent and am glad I found someone that feels the same way as I do. Keep up the good work and seriously check out that website at – it will just get you fuming!

NYMOM said...

Hi jcortez. I actually had seen your ex's website before but I'll take another look. I think you have the right idea however. This whole Equal Custody/Joint Custody business is about trying to help men get out of paying child many have noticed how in states where Joint Custody is common, many fathers get it and then never pick up the kids for their time anyway. They just use the fact that they have it on paper to pay less child support.

BTW, I agree that a lot of these people involved with fathers rights are turning into a cult...Additionally, they're all over the place and will go to any lengths to try to intimidate their opponents. I've had numerous encounters with them over the years. I actually read that Kim Basinger has now hired a bodyguard for herself and her's not Alex Baldwin so much she has to fear now but all the fathers rights nuts and other enablers of them who will be crawling out of the woodwork now.

A bunch of nuts the whole lot of them. Anyway, good luck with your situation.

NYMOM said...

Hi silverside.

I've been hearing a few other voices now coming out publicly against Alex Baldwin. It turns out he was observed at an airport cursing at his daughter for packing her bags wrong.

Additionally others have also been witnesses to his 'hair-trigger' temper. Sean Hannity was commenting on how Alex Baldwin went off on him on his radio show, cursing at him and then walking out of the studio in the middle of the show because he didn't like one of the questions...

So this not the first instance or the only instance of Baldwin being a threat to people when they get him angry...he's got history here.

Bottom line: whoever released the tape I'm glad they did. As it gives us a window into the sorts of abuse women and children are expected to take from these idiots and just keep quiet about it. The courts should have restricted this guy's visitation a long time ago, not waited for this to happen before acting. That means this kid has been dealing with this guy's anger management issues since she was about 5 years old. My question is why did they wait so long to act???

I'm outraged even hearing about you and your daughter's situation. Making her live like that for years in order to enable some idiot. These family court officers and judges have much to answer for. She should be able to sue them for forcing her into that situation and then leaving her there even after they knew about it as they did a home visit last year didn't they? It's outrageous.

I wonder if she can sue at some point? It would be a good test case and maybe stop some of these judges from making bad decisions just to be politically correct.

Jennifer Ani said...

AMEN! I could not believe my ears when I heard "Bec" (forgot her last name) on some celeb "news" show comparing Baldwin's act to that of Mel Gibson's anti-semitic outburst, something to the effect that "it wasn't as bad as Mel." !! She then went on to babble some craziness about how families are all stressed, the network was keeping Baldwin, blah blah. I nearly lost my mind! I spent about an hour trying to track down "Bec's" email or contact info so I could give her a piece of my mind, never could find anything. I felt so sorry for Ireland. How could Bec make that statement? The only thought I had was that she must not have children. No sane mother could have so easily dismissed Baldwin's behavior as "no big deal." I say WHERE THE HELL IS CPS?

NYMOM said...


The bottom line is that when Mel Gibson acted out he did it to two police officers, fully grown adults and armed. They were fair opponents.

When Alex Baldwin did it, he did it to an 11 year old, totally unable to defend herself even if he decided to beat her as a means of 'straightening her out' as he put it when he got to California. He would have been fully within the law to beat Ireland for not answering her cell when he called, if he chose to exercise that option...

The bottom line is that I'm glad they released the tape of him, whoever did it thanks...I think it will help his daughter, maybe protect her from ongoing abuse, at least until the publicity dies down.

So it's a stop-gap measure at best.

Women have to realize this today.

You hook up and have a child with an unstable or hot-tempered man, your children, not you, will suffer for it. You can leave but the courts today will not let your children have that choice until they are 18 years old. They are stuck with some dirtbag, maybe regularly beating them with a belt or something for things like not answering the phone when their father calls.

Anonymous said...

I can really feel for Kim Basinger's situation, my ex husband was a big bully and still is and has got the court system to ensure that our son lives with him too, he manipulated my son to blame me for everything I have gone to hell and back, I still have contact with my son but it is very tenuous and I miss him desperately and he is only 11 years old and his father last year made him choose and use the court system to bully me and then have an order he never sticks to and manipulates what little precious time I have with my son. I feel the court system has missed the point completely about what is best for the children and I feel very sad that so many children are now being taken away from their mothers to be brought up by girlfriends, 3rd wives etc. etc.

NYMOM said...

Hi anonymous. Sorry to hear about your situation. One good thing, your son is 11 years old. So he will remember the good times with you when he's an adult and can make up his own mind. Just imagine how horrible it would have been if he was 11 MONTHS old. Then this asshole could have moved him anywhere, anywhere, even out of the country and he would not even have a memory of you. The courts have allowed this to happen.

So just think of every minute with him now as 'making a memory' and try to make your time with him as pleasant as possible.


Anonymous said...

Dear "Mom":

If I were a member of a sex that kills its own child down at the abortion clinic, I wouldn't be talking about the welfare of any child coming first. Try sending your automatic custody ex-husband a child support check each month and you'll feel better.