Tuesday, May 08, 2007

SAD, SICK, SILLY AND INSANE, ANOTHER ATTEMPT BY MEN TO NEGATE THE IMPACT OF MOTHERS

Another example of the obsessive craving men have to be in charge of everything…

Is there a single thing good, bad or indifferent that women can do which men can’t find a way to take either the credit or blame for????

Dare I say the unthinkable: the person who purchases and prepares the food is the one most responsible for whether or not children gain weight and that is still the mother. Fathers are bit players in this regard as they are in many other areas involving children not ‘on the frontline’ as they wish to paint themselves, but backup and support to mothers.

Too bad if they don’t like it…

Let me be the first to put another ‘spin’ on this finding. We’ve already had studies demonstrating custodial fathers spending less money on their children for food, medical care and education. So perhaps the stingy cheapskates who participated in this study are just showing the well-documented pattern of men keeping most of their money for themselves spending it on beer and cigarettes instead of food for their kids. No wonder the kids are so much skinnier then everyone else, it’s certainly nothing to be proud of, that’s for sure.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21686557-29277,00.html

Dad, not mums, to blame for fat kids

By Tamara McLean
May 07, 2007 05:27pm

FAT children are more likely to have their father to blame for their weight problem than their mother, a study shows.

Research by Australian child health experts has revealed that fathers who are disengaged or do not set clear limits for their kids are more likely to have heavier children.

Dads who did lay down boundaries generally had children with a lower body mass index (BMI), the study of almost 5000 youngsters found.

Surprisingly, a mother's parenting behaviour or style apparently had no impact on whether a child was overweight or obese, according to research by Murdoch Children's Research Institute and The Royal Children's Hospital, Melbourne.

(Oh BALONEY)!!!!!

Hospital specialist Professor Melissa Wake said the large study was the first to suggest that men could be at the frontline in preventing early childhood obesity.

"Mothers are often blamed for their children's obesity, but this study suggests that for more effective prevention perhaps we should focus on the whole family," Prof Wake said.

The results also showed that 40 per cent of these young mothers and more than 60 per cent of the young fathers were themselves overweight or obese.

The research, to be presented at a paediatrics conference in Toronto this week, compared the BMIs of four- and five-year-olds with their parents' parenting styles.

The specialists said it was vital to study early parenting because home life often established patterns for life-long obesity.

Earlier research had shown that childhood obesity was highly stable during the primary school years, right from school entry, Prof Wake said.

"For instance, the BMI of a prepgrade child has an 85 per cent correlation with their BMI three years later," she said.

"Obese school children are very likely to become obese adults."

Childhood obesity is growing at an alarming rate in Australia, with more than 20 per cent of preschool children either overweight or obese.

Extra weight is a precursor to serious childhood and adult diseases like asthma, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and cancer.

16 comments:

Val said...

[Another] great post...
Unfortunately I have the problem that my ex is implanting in our son his pathologic fear of obesity. Although Z is not in the slightest way, shape, or form overweight (he's actually a little small for his age), he is constantly worrying about eating the wrong foods & "getting fat". I do my best to teach him that there are no "good" & "bad" foods, there's just moderation in all things, but it's hard when I know for a fact that the GF, at the very least, is poisoning Z's ears w/how fat & lazy my husband & I must be...
Then again, I'm convinced that no small part of the reason my ex divorced me was his unending HORROR at the fact that I gained weight after I lost my thyroid! [Taking up w/the skinny little anorexic didn't help either, heh heh]
but if Silverside, JCortez, or anyone else wants to start a group for "women screwed over by the family courts system", count me in!

silverside said...

I saw this too, and felt that while the intentions may have been good (don't blame mom for everything), it managed to tap a new myth: dad is more important than anybody else. In reality, I think childhood obesity rates have a lot more to do with environmental factors (like estrogen-like chemicals in our food supply) and environmental (no neighborhood schools within walking distance) than anything having to do with Mom OR Dad.

NYMOM said...

I find that lurking under a lot of this fear of obsesity is dislike of a women figure after childbirth. Let's face it women have a shorter shelf left then men, throw in a kid or two and by our thirties most women will have a saggy tummy...

All this obsession with thin 'boyish' bodies is dislike of the inevitable wear and tear of womens' bodies after experiencing childbirth.

It's another symptom of our men never growing up.

NYMOM said...

'dad is more important then anybody else'

Another symptom of our men never growing up.

NYMOM said...

"anybody else wants to start a group for women screwed over by the family courts"

The problem appears deeper then the family courts.

It's connected with the media, with feminism taking a wrong turn, with male dominance and the natural proclivity for women to defer to people in authority, which is generally men.

Not to mention that I've observed a few of these groups start up and eventually they become dominanted by men and focused on their concerns, which are different from womens.

Val said...

That's cool... we can just keeping checking in via blogs & commentary.
[IBTP]
& a Happy Belated Mother's Day to you all BTW!

NYMOM said...

Exactly my thinking Val.

I always encourage mothers who are either non-custodial or forced into other sorts of weird custodial arrangements to blog about their experiences rather then join established groups.

Frankly, all the mothers groups out there are either started by or eventually overwhelmed by fathers or step mothers/second wives...so you can never really state the truth on their sites anyway. It's just more of this situation ala Alex Baldwin and this Hasselhoff character now of covering up for the bad behavior of men...

At least on your own blog even if you're anonymous, you can speak the truth uncensored (although if you're a non-custodial mother you do have to be careful).

So I think the best way to get truthful information out there regarding the legal situation of mothers and children today is to have your own blog...

JCortez said...

After reading your blogs, this gave me the encouragement to investigate a little further. I am going to do it... I am going to start a web support group/organization for us women (just like those idiots at equal-custoday.org)... I'm going to call it "Mothers Against Fathers of Convenience" (MAFC). I am checking on getting the website built (I’m an IT Recruiter so I have some contacts). I just get sick of these men blaming us mothers/women for everything and I’m sick of hearing about all this alienation crap and how it’s our fault these men can not have a healthy relationship with their children. It’s time for us to stand up to them… If anyone wishes to give me any input or ideas on this, you can reach me at jcortez.mafc@yahoo.com.
I’m ready to move forward :^)

NYMOM said...

Well I wish you luck. I'm not very good at IT or anything like that, I can barely handle this blog.

I'd say the only thing you have to watch out for is that you don't accept offers of help from fathers rights nuts and other enablers of them...as they will overwhelm your site and eventually make it their own...As they have with every other site, organization and related group both on and off the internet.

Good luck anyway. Stay in touch.

Anonymous said...

I think men not being on the front lines is part of the probmem to begin with... If 2 parents are involved, thats twice as likely a kid is to have a good opinion to choose from, ya know?

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe that you actually feel that WOMEN aren't given a fair shake in family court systems in this country. HAHAHAHAHA. Tell that to all the GREAT dads who stand by their obese wives and support them through weight loss surgery only to be left for another man, destroying the family unit and then see the witch get primary custody just because it is a basic "given" that the woman gets custody unless you can prove she will undoubtedly cause the child harm. Even though she never finished school or put herself in any financial position to be able to care for the children. So the man loses his house, pays her an her new live in man $1300 a month for 3 kids...What a crock!

NYMOM said...

This is simply not true.

It's basically a myth like alligators in the sewer and whatnot. Probably it was never true since most people didn't bother litigating custody through the courts, only the very rich like Gloria Vanderbilt and such...

Mothers had custody throughout history by default everywhere. Quite simply when no money was to be made through custody of children no one was very much interested in them except their mothers. Now that mothers are forced into court regularly since everybody and his grandmother is now fighting for custody, hundreds of thousand of mothers are losing their children. It's actually into the millions now if you read the census and AARP statistics...

This is simply not true what you say about mothers being favored in court.

But I think it comforts people to believe it, so go right ahead and do so.

El Hombre said...

Fathers do play a huge part in a children's lives, and women are favored in child custody court. The child is just as much the father's as is the mother's. If the father clearly does more work for the welfare children or is in better financial condition to care for the child then heck yeah give him custody. You act like the default should be for the woman to have custody but keep in mind not all women/mothers are fit parents, just like not all men/fathers are fit parents. Now, you obviously have something against men.Especially the men who would jump through flaming hoops just to see their children every now and then. They are not trying to destroy or defile motherhood. They just want to see who they are sending money to every month. Why you garner so much hate and hostility against men I don't know, but it really clouds your logic.

NYMOM said...

Women are favored in child custody cases by God, evolution, biology and plain common sense. Unfortunately they are not and never have been favored in courts, as these are institutions created by and for men...most custody was never litigated in the past, so mothers always had their children by default. As the simple fact is when children are worth no money to anyone, few people other then their own mothers appeared very interested in them...

Men have given themselves this HUGE role now since so many benefits flow to the parent who has custody, from tax exemptions to eligibility for extra food and housing...this is the only reason men have latched onto this whole custody issue. Due to their aggressiveness, greed and selfishness.

I actually was listening to a woman on a talk show a few months ago talking about how, not counting child support, custody of a child is worth about $10,000 annually in benefits to the custodial parent. She was upset that so many male ex-cons were being denied this money as not enough of them become the custodial parent.

This is just another example of how from Brooklyn to Bagdad men are endlessly engaged in wars for resources. You will never be satisfied with a part of something if you can manage to grab the whole and these custody wars you all have started is just another example of your endless greed...

BTW, I have nothing against men...I do not hate any of you. I just recognize your nature and tell you about it. This is what you have tagged as hate. No. It's called truth, so deal with it.

HappyFather said...

Wow, I'm sorry for the hardships the posters on this website have had, but you are crazy to think all men are selfish and would only care about custody because of money... Better work on reducing your bitterness or you're doomed to never find another mate, give your son(s) poor self esteem and ruin both your son and daughter's chances of a successful marriage (due to a skeptical outlook and expectation that it can only end in failure).

NYMOM said...

I never said ALL men were selfish and wanted custody because of men, but many do...