Another Defeat for Common Sense

Well I was sorry to see this measure defeated.

As I have stated many times litigating custody through the court system helps men. It plays to their strength in these situations: which is manipulation of the legal system through men’s control of greater financial resources. It should be pretty obvious by now to everyone that this presumptive Joint Custody measure, although not ideal by any means, was the lesser of many, many, many, evils that mothers and children could face if forced into court. Many evils.

I guess it also points out that this ‘custody war’ situation which has been going on for the last decade or so probably has to be addressed by attacking the root of the problem, which is money. It’s not custody or parenting or 50/50 visitation, etc., it is money. The system that currently has made custody of children worth money to people must be dismantled. Then people will have nothing to fight over and I guarantee you that this whole custody litigation business will become moot as few parents will bother contesting it anymore.

I was just listening to a woman talking on an early morning news show today and she was estimating that for the parent of ONE CHILD with the Earned Income Credit (EIC), child care credit and numerous other tax deductions, that custody of ONE child directs about $10,000 annually (not even counting child support) to a custodial parent. That $10,000 is just the EIC and tax credits/deduction a custodial parent is eligible for. It doesn’t even address the non-money benefits, btw, such as food stamps, Medicaid, Section 8 housing subsidiary, even some citizenship benefits…

This is the root of the problem.

Solve this and the whole custody issue will end as quickly as it began. Parents will be back to settling this between themselves and the more interested parent (which is generally the mothers in spite of the endless propaganda to the contrary) will voluntarily assume custody with no argument from the other…there will be no more incentive to fight over visitation/parenting time as there will be no money issues related to who spends more time with the kids...

http://www.bismarcktribune.com/articles/2006/11/08/news/state/123564.txt

Child custody measure, loses, eminent domain comes up big

By DAVE KOLPACK Associated Press Writer

Voters have rejected a proposal to revamp North Dakota's child custody laws, but approved constitutional measures to limit the government's right to acquire private property and adjust the way the state manages trust funds.

With 97 percent of the state's precinct's reporting, the child custody measure trailed 57 percent to 43 percent.

The proposal to restrict eminent domain was leading 68 percent to 32 percent, and a measure changing trust fund management was leading 67 percent to 33 percent.

The child custody measure drew the most emotional debate of the three, and several voters on Tuesday said it was the one issue that brought them to the polls.

Ashley Helbling, 25, of Bismarck, called the measure "just asinine."

Carrie McKay, 35, of Bismarck, said she voted against it because it "doesn't seem right" for the children."

There are a lot of fathers who need help, too," McKay said. "But they needed to word that differently."

Mitchell Sanderson, of Grand Forks, a sponsor of the child custody measure, said the initiative was hurt by "fear-mongering from attorneys who were protecting their Lexus payment and lake home payment."

He said he would attempt to work with the Legislature on a new bill.

"If that doesn't work, I will come back with another initiative that is plain and clear: joint physical custody unless you're found unfit," he said.


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I thought it would be interesting to post some comments from the Bismarck Herald on the feelings of a non-custodial mother when the Presumptive Joint Custody measure failed there last week. She mentions how her children are punished if their father finds out they even say hello to her…

“T wrote on November 10, 2006 8:45 PM:"In response to the one that said it would be good to the father that is the non-custodial parent. Live with reality, non-custodial parents are mothers as well as fathers, and the measure should be looked at again, revised and passed. Free up the civil courts, let the children be children of BOTH parents, and yes, have the parents co-parent and quit putting the kids in the middle... after all at one time, the both were good enough to procreate with, were they not? Besides, the judges do not always know what is in the best interests of the children, they are limited in their time, and are so busy, that it's a wonder they even keep the cases straight anymore."

“T wrote on November 10, 2006 8:54 PM:"In addition to my last post before anyone berates my comments, yes, I am the mother of my children, and they mean the world to me. My ex-husband and his wife make four times than what I do, yet I pay child support and alot of their expenses i.e. clothing, personal hygiene supplies, any of their extra curricular activities... The divorce papers say we have joint legal and joint custody with open visitation for me, yet when my children contact me, or try to see me, they get punished. They are not even allowed by my ex-spouse to say hi to me if we happen to run into each other.... hmmm..."

“T wrote on November 12, 2006 4:16 AM:"to advocate4mykids... have taken my ex to court twice for contempt, the judge just tells him not to do it anymore, as for the child support, it doesn't matter what he makes, they don't take that into consideration, with the expenses being paid, he tells the kids I'm not paying for it, if your mom doesn't pay, then you go without... yes, it is parent alienation by far, and maybe divorced lawyer will go pro bono for me haha... attorneys cost money, and my ex has pretty much made a point of draining it from me so I can't afford an attorney to take him back to court"
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The above was for the benefit of those self-described advocates for women from NOW and such who continue fighting these presumptive Joint Custody measures. These pompous assholes can’t seem to get it through their heads that non-custodial parents being alienated from their children are not just fathers, but many mothers as well.

I don’t know how many times I have to say this but litigating custody through the courts FAVORS fathers. It favors them. Studies have demonstrated this time and again in different states including NOW’s own studies, which have shown that 70% of fathers win custody when they litigate, NOW's own studies. Yet these same nitwits continue saying women shouldn’t settle for the ‘cookie cutter’ approach of presumptive Joint Custody and every case should be individually litigated.

It’s like dealing with a brick wall, I swear to God.

They can’t seem to get it through their thick heads that when fathers litigate, they win. NOW’s own studies have shown this. It is obviously considered trendy and progressive today to give fathers custody and millions of mothers have lost custody of their children today due to this trendiness. BTW many of these mothers never see their children again, due to these unprincipled monsters, who take custody of children to avoid paying child support.

I don’t know…it appears hopeless when you are dealing with a bunch of gender neutralized feminists who continue to disregard the studies they, themselves, funded on this very issue and insist on mothers being required to litigate custody…

All I can say is wake up.