I thought this was an interesting comment, particularly considering the on-going situation in the news with Brittany Spear losing custody of her children recently…so I decided to take the liberty of making an entire post of it considering that all comments on the internet become public property anyway…
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "ANOTHER SENSIBLE RULING REGARDING RECREATIONAL SPE...":
My 25 year old daughter (just before she started her last year of college) got knocked up last summer after a 2 week thing with a not-so-ideal guy that she realized (shortly into the fling) that she has nothing in common with. He was 29, had an 8 year old daughter living in another state from a prior marriage whom he doesn't see but has child support payments that are automatically withdrawn from his paycheck. (He REALLY resents the payments but has no choice. He makes about $32K per year and really needs to stretch to pay his bills...and is not shy about talking about it.)
My daughter was on the Pill and got a bladder infection during the month she was with this guy and so the pill failed her and she got pregnant. A healthy baby boy was born in April and she graduated from college in May and has a full time job. She and her baby lives here in our house in an attached apartment with my husband and I. We are supporting her a little financially and with the help of a part-time nanny.
The father who I shall hereafter refer to as SD (Sperm Donor) initially told her he wanted her to do whatever she wanted...ie, have an abortion, adoption...maybe keep the baby..etc. Maybe they'd move in together...but no marriage.
My daughter got wise to him but because of the pregnancy tried to make it work for about 8 weeks after she found out she was pregnant. She had told him when she first met that she someday wanted children and he mocked her for that in front of another couple...he made it clear that he did not want them at all----he had enough with this daughter he did not see.
So she broke up with him and had the baby and moved back with us. She really wants nothing to do with him as she has determined he's a creep. Before the baby (boy) was born, we found out that he had a vasectomy to make sure that he'd never have this happen again. He still wants sex---just no consequences.
This loser is now trying to take the infant BOY (his "show" puppy) on a 50/50 basis. He doesn't want to pay child support but suddenly he wants to be a "father". He has already promised to teach the baby the opposite of our beliefs, so he fully intends to mess with his mind. His concerns are now about him having a SON to show off to his buddies.
We really don't want anything from him (including child support). We just want him to go away as he has very opposite world views and will develop a lot of conflict in the child as he gets older.
How can we get him to go away? He's just an awful guy but nothing is sufficient so far to prove this to the courts (he's a heavy drinker, a biker, heavily into porn and kinky sex with multiple partners, he smokes, and we don't trust him not to hurt the baby, either by accident or deliberately)
Any ideas? Any case law that can help frame our argument? This is essentially stranger casual sex that resulted in a child and now the stranger wants to impose himself on our lives and the baby's innocence.
Posted by Anonymous to Women as Mothers at 8:00 PM
First of all there is absolutely nothing either your daughter or anyone in the family can do about it and if you try too much, your daughter can lose custody due to a finding of “parental alienation”. Just to let you know: most parents who lose custody due to alienation are mothers and it’s virtually impossible to overturn on appeal and doubly impossible to enforce visitation afterwards.
Additionally, if this jerk manages to get joint custody or shared custody, whatever they call it in your state, he can sue your daughter for child support (if he makes less income then her) and ultimately wind up getting money from YOU…as a Judge can decide to impute income to your daughter, even as a student. Students loans, for instance, can be considered income for child support purposes as can any cash assistance you and/or her father give to her. Even non-cash assistance can be imputed to her as income for child support purposes (such as providing her free room and board, living expenses, etc.,).
So prepare yourselves, you now have a leech attached to you for life or at least for the minority of your grandchild.
This is a similar situation to what Brittany Spears faces right now. AND let’s make no mistake about it, I have no sympathy for Brittany Spears. She should have lost custody of her sons due to her conduct. My problem is the fact that instead of her family getting custody, as should have happened and would have happened years ago until she straightened out her life, they gave custody to this money-sucking leech Kevin Federline. Who is, at best, a total loser similar to Brittany Spears, just contesting custody for the payday it involves.
Getting custody today from someone like Brittany Spears is similar to hitting the lottery. Hundreds of thousands of dollars for at least 20 years, most of it tax free. So it’s actually better then hitting the lottery, as you pay taxes on lottery winning, but not on child support.
Women need to wake up to this totally new abuse of us and our children and be damn careful about who they pick as husbands and fathers.
Sorry for your situation.