tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87404752024-03-13T13:55:20.141-04:00Women as MothersNYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comBlogger275125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-58587399949476515382019-06-28T00:14:00.002-04:002019-06-28T00:14:55.123-04:00Happy Ending to a Long and Sordid Tale<span class="ILfuVd c3biWd" style="color: #222222; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.375; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span class="e24Kjd" style="padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 0px;"><b>"Anna Nicole</b> Smith's <b>daughter</b> Dannielynn Hope is growing up so fast. The 12-year-old made her appearance at the Barnstable Brown <b>Kentucky Derby</b> Gala on Friday in Louisville, <b>Kentucky</b>, posing alongside dad Larry Birkhead on the red carpet..."</span></span><br />
<span class="kX21rb" style="color: #777777; display: inline-block; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.33; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: nowrap; word-spacing: 0px;">http://people.com May 4, 2019</span><br />
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Well I was so pleased to see a happy ending to a story I had posted about on this blog over a decade ago which was the whole Anna Nicole Smith debacle. Her daughter Dannielynn Hope was at the Kentucky Derby recently with her father and she appeared to be happy, healthy and safe (and in the United States where she belonged) in spite of the chaos of her early life and that's about all we can ask for these children I think...<br />
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Best of luck to her and her father in the future...<br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Courts Continue Usurping Mothers Natural Rights</span></h3>
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One of the most errie aspects about this whole custody of Anna Nicole Smith’s body is how closely it mirrored the Teri Schiavo case in showing us the working of the courts and how they establish legal rights of guardianship over those who can’t speak for themselves. If you recall Teri Schiavo was the young Florida wife, who was in a coma (cause unknown). Her husband, Michael Schiavo, was also the one legally empowered to make medical decisions regarding her care. Similarly to the Howard K. Stern/Anna Nicole Smith situation (over the custody of her body), Michael Schiavo too was in an ongoing fight with Teri Schiavo’s parents about whether or not to disconnect the food/water tubes keeping her body alive.<br />
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Over the last few weeks, I actually felt like I was reliving the trauma of the Schiavo case all over again. I happened to be sick at home during the beginning of the Anna Nicole Smith court fight and was furious watching that Judge totally disregarding Anna Nicole Smith’s mother while setting up a legal scenario designed to favor Howard K. Stern. Clearly assigning a guardian to represent the so-called ‘best interest of the child’ favored the man who had helped abduct that child in the first place and was currently fraudulently named on her birth certificate as her ‘father’ so he already had defacto legal custody of the child in question.<br />
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It was a foregone conclusion from the moment the guardian was named that any so-called guardian 'for the child' would have to name the child's current defacto custodial parent as the person with the right to claim her mother's body. Logic demanded it, unless the birth certificate could be found to be fraudalent before the right to claim the mother's remains was decided. Since this was not likely to happen, the whole hearing was a setup from the moment the statue was disregarded and a child UNDER the age of 18 was designated as next of kin. The whole thing was just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo designed to empower the men involved and ignore Virgie Arthur's more powerful legal and as well as natural claim to her daughter's remains.<br />
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So basically Howard K. Stern was rewarded for perpetuatng a fraud. This entire legal situation was instigated by said fraud to ensure a baby was born outside of US jurisdiction. It has been a so far successful attempt to deny that child’s father any contact with his child, deny the child her American citizenship, as well as any connection with either side of her extended US family. Anna Nicole Smith was replicating the same scenario that she had gotten away with ten years earlier, alienating her son from his grandmother, Virgie Arthur, who raised him for the first five years of his life. Now Anna Nicole Smith was pulling the same stunt with her daughter and I was just sick watching this Judge rewarding an active participant in this fraud, Howard K. Stern.<br />
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Now to return to the Schiavo case: I was ready to fly down to Florida during that situation, that’s how upset I was by the whole thing. But was turned off by the hoards of religious fanatics who had taken over the argument. Anyway, even though our President himself claimed he was supportive of Teri Schiavo’s parents being named as her guardians, yet we were told the law was strictly defined vis-à-vis designation of a guardian in Florida, first a spouse, then a child OVER 18, THEN parents.<br />
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That was it.<br />
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The republic itself was at stake to listen to the media drone on about it. The President himself couldn’t change this, as it was unconstitutional for him to try to overrule a sovereign state’s laws. The President’s brother, Jeb Bush, Governor of Florida, supposedly was planning on having his own police detail drive in with an ambulance and just remove Teri Schiavo from the home she was in, yet the county the home was located in found out about it and threatened a confrontation involving the state police if he tried it, so he backed down. The Supreme Court held a special session, yet they too turned down Teri Schiavo’s parents as there was absolutely no way around the Florida statues. NONE.<br />
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Even though Michael Schiavo was living as man and wife with another woman for almost ten years, he even had two children with her. Clearly he was no longer in a position to act in the best interest of a ‘wife’ lying in a coma. Yet the Florida statues were so clear, that her parents had to stand by helplessly as their daughter was starved to death. There was nothing anyone could do. Not to mention Michael Schiavo’s final spite filled act of cremating Teri Schiavo’s body and then not letting her parents even know where she was going to be buried, so they couldn’t attend her funeral. Actually I was kind of relieved he did this as it justify me hating the guy. Since this final venomous curtain call in the Teri Schiavo drama said more about him then anything else that had happened up to that point and ensured his place in the history books when this case is written about and guess what: it won’t be a good one.<br />
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Anyway until last week I think most of us believed that the Florida statues were written in stone. Guardianship statues were tamper proof, no deviations, no wiggle room, no interpretation allowed. Okay. Fine. Thus I fully expected to see Howard K. Stern, leaving the courthouse with his tail between his legs, as Anna Nicole Smith’s mother reclaimed her daughter, probably shortly followed by her grandson being removed from the Bahamas (where he had previously spent ONE NIGHT before dying there) and being reburied right next to his mother in the country of their birth. As Stern was not ever married to Anna Nicole Smith. It’s even doubtful if he was ever really her boyfriend or just a stand in to help commit paternity fraud. Thus he was entitled to no standing under Florida’s presumably very strict statues.<br />
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Yet much to my shock it appeared Florida statues are not written in stone. As the Judge in the case decided to overlook the strong possibility that Howard K. Stern engaged in fraud to get himself named on this child’s birth certificate. Or that he might have strong financial motivations (as in Marshall estate ruling) to wish to remain as a guardian, utilizing a baby, to manage the Anna Nicole Smith’s estate.<br />
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Although Howard K. Stern was shown to have leeched off Anna Nicole Smith for years, he was quickly given the moral equivalence pass, since, Virgie Arthur, Anna’s mother was found to have gotten a plane ticket to the Bahamas paid for by a magazine publisher. Excuse me but how in the heck do people think this woman, a retired grandmother, is able to finance an ongoing court battle going on between Florida and the Bahamas? Unlike Stern, who is making millions by selling exclusive rights to Entertainment Tonight for interviews or Larry Birkhead, whose parents are footing the bill for his stupidity in getting involved with this situation, Grandma Arthur has to pay for everything herself. She’s probably draining her retirement account just to pay the lawyers. AND just like most other grandmothers, she is concerned about her grand daugher being the pawn of a bunch of leeches determined to get custody of this kid so they can keep milking the situation, just as they did when her mother was alive. Grandma Arthur couldn’t do anything at that time, but she can and should act now. After all she’s already lost one grandkid to this bunch, I can see her being concerned about losing another.<br />
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There is something very disheartening about the level of jealousy within people today, who simply refuse to admit that a mother’s bond with her children is more powerful then other social bonds and don’t want to accept the possibility that Virgie Arthur is doing this out of love for her daughter and concern for her grandchild. Or that a daughter like Anna Nicole Smith: total screwup, drug addict, spite filled alienator who refused to even visit her mother for ten years, money-grubbing conniver who used men for money, could still have a mother out there who loved her and worried about her children. Yes, believe it or not this happens everyday. The most horrible adults in the world still have a mother who loves them, even if that love is not returned. Everyone keeps pointing out that video where Anne Nicole Smith appears to hate her mother. Well guess what: it doesn’t matter, as it tells us nothing about how her mother felt about her.<br />
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Anyway this new interpretation of Florida’s guardianship statues appeared to be fine with the media and the courts, since any statue that can usurp a mothers’ natural rights to her children, even when they are dead, appears to fit the bill here. This latest ruling pretty much ignoring the past precedence set was just another obvious spit in the eye to biological parenthood and let’s be clear about this: everytime it happens it’s an attack on mothers. As mothers are the only ones who have our rights designated through natural law due to our more meaningful biological link to children. It is men who need the cover of the courts to give them any legitimate claim. So each and every attack favoring legal over biological connections is an insidious attempt to undermine women in their role as mothers. To place any and all relationships over and above the mother/child one and to once again place man, any man at the center of all things in a women’s life, be he husband, boyfriend, your attorney, whatever. Sadly men do not seem to be able to deal with not being featured with star billing in every show.</div>
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posted by NYMOM | <a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;" title="permanent link">Sunday, March 04, 2007</a></div>
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<dt class="comment-poster" id="c2669945694579761998" style="background-image: url("//www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif"); background-position-x: 2px; background-position-y: 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c2669945694579761998" style="color: #2198a6; text-decoration: none;"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-color: transparent; background-image: url("/img/b16-rounded.gif"); background-origin: padding-box; background-position-x: left; background-position-y: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; line-height: 16px; padding-left: 20px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border-bottom-color: currentColor; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-image-outset: 0; border-image-repeat: stretch; border-image-slice: 100%; border-image-source: none; border-image-width: 1; border-left-color: currentColor; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: currentColor; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: currentColor; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" /></span> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/03152215204773184788" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;">Val</a> said...</dt>
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Ugh, "thanks" for resuscitating those grim memories! I, too, was fascinated & repelled by the Schiavo case: why the hell didn't Michael just DIVORCE Terri, entrusting her care to her parents, & get on w/his life?!? (don't tell me it's all about the money, stupid, even though that's true)<br />
His vengeful behavior towards the Schindlers hit too many painful resonant chords w/me; but for that I need to go type my own post, verdad?</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.75em; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c2669945694579761998" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">5:13 PM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7294758084640808068" style="background-image: url("//www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif"); background-position-x: 2px; background-position-y: 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7294758084640808068" style="color: #2198a6; text-decoration: none;"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-color: transparent; background-image: url("/img/b16-rounded.gif"); background-origin: padding-box; background-position-x: left; background-position-y: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; line-height: 16px; padding-left: 20px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border-bottom-color: currentColor; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-image-outset: 0; border-image-repeat: stretch; border-image-slice: 100%; border-image-source: none; border-image-width: 1; border-left-color: currentColor; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: currentColor; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: currentColor; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" /></span> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
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I think he was afraid that he could get charged for Teri Schiavo's medical expenses anyway, as next of kin. Kind of like if a father gives custody of a child's to a person's grandmother (like they generally did in the old days) he could be hit up for child support.<br />
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Child support has substantially changed the behavior of men.<br />
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Plus there was spite involved.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.75em; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c7294758084640808068" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">12:54 AM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7335513832853871567" style="background-image: url("//www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif"); background-position-x: 2px; background-position-y: 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7335513832853871567" style="color: #2198a6; text-decoration: none;"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-color: transparent; background-image: url("/img/b16-rounded.gif"); background-origin: padding-box; background-position-x: left; background-position-y: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; line-height: 16px; padding-left: 20px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border-bottom-color: currentColor; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-image-outset: 0; border-image-repeat: stretch; border-image-slice: 100%; border-image-source: none; border-image-width: 1; border-left-color: currentColor; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: currentColor; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: currentColor; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" /></span> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/03152215204773184788" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;">Val</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Yeah buddy -- "spite involved", absolutely!<br />
But speaking of child support, I'd like to solicit your opinion about my own situation -- if you could email me, it's endurovet@hotmail.com<br />
Thanks!</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.75em; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c7335513832853871567" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">11:56 AM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8126262906315082957" style="background-image: url("//www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif"); background-position-x: 2px; background-position-y: 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8126262906315082957" style="color: #2198a6; text-decoration: none;"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-color: transparent; background-image: url("/img/anon16-rounded.gif"); background-origin: padding-box; background-position-x: left; background-position-y: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; line-height: 16px; padding-left: 20px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border-bottom-color: currentColor; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-image-outset: 0; border-image-repeat: stretch; border-image-slice: 100%; border-image-source: none; border-image-width: 1; border-left-color: currentColor; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: currentColor; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: currentColor; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">silverside</span> said...</dt>
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And you don't think moms pay child support? I'm tired of hearing that this is some situation unique to dads. Moms pay it too, typically on incomes that are less than what men make. So kwicherbichin.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.75em; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c8126262906315082957" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">7:59 PM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8526268003067421506" style="background-image: url("//www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif"); background-position-x: 2px; background-position-y: 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8526268003067421506" style="color: #2198a6; text-decoration: none;"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-color: transparent; background-image: url("/img/b16-rounded.gif"); background-origin: padding-box; background-position-x: left; background-position-y: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; line-height: 16px; padding-left: 20px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border-bottom-color: currentColor; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-image-outset: 0; border-image-repeat: stretch; border-image-slice: 100%; border-image-source: none; border-image-width: 1; border-left-color: currentColor; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: currentColor; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: currentColor; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" /></span> <a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
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Moms pay it too. But there's a lot of evidence that they pay less then men even allowing for differences in income. Many Judges appear to be more willing to accept diviations from guidelines when mothers request it versus when fathers do.<br />
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I attribute this to most Judges seeing the greed behind many of the men litigating for custody. Many do it for either reasons of spite or in order to get out of paying child support. So this is like an informal nod to mothers...to keep us shut..<br />
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After all, it's bad enough that some greedy and unprincipled monster was allowed to steal your child, now you're expected to pay him money for the privilege???<br />
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It's totally outrageous.<br />
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So with this one complaint I think men are right, not that I give a damn...</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0.75em; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c8526268003067421506" style="color: #716e6c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">12:19 AM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c6197136797613327264" style="background-image: url("//www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif"); background-position-x: 2px; background-position-y: 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0.5em; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 20px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c6197136797613327264" style="color: #2198a6; text-decoration: none;"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="background-attachment: scroll; background-clip: border-box; background-color: transparent; background-image: url("/img/anon16-rounded.gif"); background-origin: padding-box; background-position-x: left; background-position-y: center; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; line-height: 16px; padding-left: 20px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border-bottom-color: currentColor; border-bottom-style: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-image-outset: 0; border-image-repeat: stretch; border-image-slice: 100%; border-image-source: none; border-image-width: 1; border-left-color: currentColor; border-left-style: none; border-left-width: 0px; border-right-color: currentColor; border-right-style: none; border-right-width: 0px; border-top-color: currentColor; border-top-style: none; border-top-width: 0px; display: inline; padding-bottom: 8px; padding-left: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said...</dt>
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Based on my own life experience, I do not believe she dies of an accidental drug over dose, nor suicide!</div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-53216880057145524332019-06-10T20:28:00.001-04:002019-06-10T20:29:53.062-04:00Still Relevant After All These Years...<div class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: #666666; font-family: Arial,Tahoma,Helvetica,FreeSans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
I just came across this, oldie but goodie, which premise still holds true over 10 years after it was written by Professor of Family Law, Mary Ann Mason.</div>
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As usual if we 'follow the money' we can see where it leads: courts attempting to give illegitimate rights to men in order to generate child support payments from what are basically recreational sperm donors, who should have no more rights to children then the man in the moon. </div>
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The thing that troubles me is that people who presumably can act upon this have known about it for almost a decade and yet I have seen no significant changes in public policy to make any improvements in the situation...</div>
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Frankly I feel that if courts are going to rule on custody using a strictly biological relationship to the child then the maternal grandmother should have as much if not more rights then a biological father, since genetically speaking she is more closely related...</div>
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Women who can, need to start speaking up on these issues instead of just sitting around on their hands while these attacks on mothers and children are allowed to take place.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">NEWS RELEASE, 1/28/99</span></h5>
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<span style="color: black;">Modern custody disputes favor father's rights over child's welfare, according to UC Berkeley study</span></h3>
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<b>By Patricia McBroom, Public Affairs </b></div>
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<br /><br />Berkeley -- The modern drive to expand fathers' rights in custody cases has resulted in a significant decline in decisions made in the best interest of the child, according to new research by a University of California, Berkeley, professor of family law.<o:p></o:p></div>
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States now give higher priority to blood ties than to parenting and children can be ordered to live with biological fathers they have never known, said Mary Ann Mason, a lawyer and professor of family law at the UC Berkeley's School of Social Welfare.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"An unwed father who has never seen his child will be given custody in most states in preference to unrelated individuals who have done the actual parenting," said Mason. "Unwed fathers now have the same rights as married fathers - a major historical change of the past two decades."<o:p></o:p></div>
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She added that such disregard for children's needs also occurs in divorce cases where courts "have rushed to 'divide the child,' by insisting on joint custody and ignoring what we know about early child development."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Children are not being represented in court or given a voice of any kind, Mason says in a wide-ranging analysis of custody law published this month (February) as a book.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In "The Custody Wars: Why Children Are Losing the Legal Battle and What We Can Do About It" ( Basic Books, N.Y.), Mason evaluates the contemporary and historical status of custody decisions, demonstrating that modern-day courts have regressed in their concern for child welfare.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This has happened, in part, because states - now wanting to encourage unwed fathers to pay more child support - offer unprecedented rights to them as parents based purely on biology, not actual parenting, said Mason. In another arena, she added, parental rights have been expanded via joint custody decisions - unwise in the case of very young children who need stability in their lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Young children's best interests are largely ignored in joint custody decisions," said Mason. "If very small children could speak, they would not choose to divide their lives in half. It is just not developmentally appropriate."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Courts have known this about small children, ages six and under, since the turn of the century when the "tender years doctrine" became law. Today, nearly 100 years later, the doctrine - which favors a primary parent - is being ignored in a "politically correct" move to joint custody, she said.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But it is in the case of new rights for unwed fathers that Mason finds the most egregious examples of a legal system that disregards the welfare of the child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Until a Supreme Court decision in 1971, unwed fathers had no rights to child custody based on the genetic relationship. Now, most states have given unwed fathers all the rights of a married father.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"In the case of unwed fathers," said Mason, "states have abandoned the child-centered 'best interests' test. </div>
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Today, it must be shown only that it would be harmful to the child to live with the biological parent, not merely in that child's best interest." She said this means that a young child can be taken from an adoptive parent with whom he or she has a strong attachment, as in the celebrated case of Baby Jessica, because the biological rights of the father have become paramount.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In Michigan, four-year-old Baby Jessica was raised by adoptive parents only to be given in a custody dispute to her biological father. The father was not married to Jessica's biological mother and the child had never seen him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"If our first concern was truly the best interests of children, we would look at unwed fathers in a different light," said Mason. "We would look, first of all, to whom is performing the actual parenting."<o:p></o:p></div>
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In a current California case, an unwed father was allowed to make a paternity claim for a child being raised by his former girlfriend and her husband.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the past, such a claim would not have been tolerated by courts because their primary intent was to preserve family stability. This time-honored tradition, in which the married father was always the legal father, also protected the child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But no more, said Mason.<o:p></o:p></div>
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By allowing this paternity claim, the California court "paid little attention to the rights of Brian, now age four, or even to his needs. His best interests were not considered at all," she said.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If paternity tests bear him out, said Mason, the unwed father may sue for custody and sink that family into dispute, with serious psychological risks for Brian.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Countless studies, focusing both on married and divorced families, indicate that conflict produces serious negative results in children who need the stability of a primary parent," she said. "We should not be making the rights of parents, whether the mother or the father, paramount in custody cases."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mason argues strongly that children need advocates in court and that most custody disputes should be settled on the basis of the needs and wishes of the child involved, with changes depending on age.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Until they are adolescents, children should be represented not only by attorneys, but by child advocates, Mason recommends. Currently, psychological evaluations in custody cases test only the personality fitness of the parents, through tests that detect psychotic tendencies. They give little weight to who is doing the parenting, and the evaluators rarely listen to what the children want.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a result, it is common for children to be forced to divide their lives or spend time with parents they don't want to see, said Mason.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"This is not a child-centered policy. The equal rights of the parents, not the best interests of the child, are the guiding principle," said Mason. She recommends that the United States follow the example of English courts which have provided all children in custody disputes with two advocates -- a legal and a personal representative -- since passage of the Children Act of 1989.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"The philosophy of the Children Act is that children are usually the least powerful party in any dispute and need the greatest protection," said Mason, pointing out that children get far better representation in U.S. criminal courts than in family courts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mason believes the wishes of mature children over the age of 13 should prevail in a custody dispute, unless they are at risk of being harmed by their choices.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In addition, she calls for regular reviews of custody arrangements to adapt to the changing needs of children as they grow. And, she urgently endorses a return to the policy of favoring a primary parent, during the tender years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"The fundamental concept of attachment, introduced after World War II by John Bowlby has withstood a new generation of researchers," said Mason. "For children under six, it can be very destructive to disrupt their bond with a primary parent."<o:p></o:p></div>
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"There must be a place where children are heard and their changing needs are addressed," she said, "a place where judges are educated in child development; a place where the rule of law, while flexible, truly promotes the best interests of the child rather than catering to gender politics."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Added Mason, "Children are not property to be exchanged."<o:p></o:p><br /><br /><span style="background-color: white;">This server has been established by </span><a href="http://www.berkeley.edu/" style="color: #2198a6; text-decoration: none;">the University of California at Berkeley</a><span style="background-color: white;"> Public Information Office. Copyright for all items on this server held by The Regents of the University of California. Thanks for your interest in UC Berkeley.</span><br /><hr align="LEFT" />
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<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><br />NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-70818738065545383532019-06-10T13:18:00.001-04:002019-06-10T13:18:12.985-04:00Using Children for Financial Gain Leads to Two Unnecessary DeathsI have not posted in a while. Believe it or not I retired and winded up being busier than when I had a full-time job and simply didn't have the time to post. Nevertheless, I am now working part-time from home to supplement my pension and my life has gotten a little more stable now so I've decided to post another observation...<br />
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The recent story in the news from Atlanta about the 10 year old child being starved to death by her step-person had a number of curious elements to it. <br />
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Firstly, the actual father should have been given the exact same sentence as the step-person as it was his legal and moral obligation to ensure this child's care. Why should he be given life in prison (which doesn't mean life in prison anymore as there is a release date for these so-called lifers) and the step-person be given a death sentence? Both should have been sentenced to death or life in prison. He should not have been given the choice to plea bargain his way out of the death sentence. Either both plea or no plea should have been acceptable.<br />
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Secondly, I don't like to post these unusual stories on my blog as most people do not starve their children to death; thus, I wish to focus on the sorts of things most people do. But a curious factor in this case strikes me, which is why <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: black; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">didn't he give back custody of his daughter to her grandmother. Especially </span>with the obvious antipathy this step-person showed towards his daughter from a very early age. His daughter had been removed from his home and placed with the grandmother for six months and was doing very well in school and thriving in her grandmother's home (from all reports anyway). So why remove her from that environment if you know your wife doesn't like her? You could still visit your daughter as much as possible (after all she would be living with your mother) so what was the issue? I didn't hear one person ask or answer this obvious question in spite of all the testimony and rhetoric spoken and written about this case.<br />
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The obvious answer which no one wishes to dwell upon is that this man did not wish to have to pay child support for his daughter. He was already working two jobs to support his new family and I guess he thought it would be 'cheaper' to keep his daughter with him exposing her to harm from the step-person rather than pay the child support and leave her safely with his mother.<br />
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Well this is the end result of his financial calculation....<br />
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I have said it before and I will say it again we have done a vast disservice to children by allowing them to be made a financial asset for people. It causes those, who in the past, would have just walked away from unwanted/unloved children to remain in their lives and makes it virtually impossible for others to remove them from dangerous situations. The result is many more of these horrible cases in our headlines and many more children undergoing needless suffering.NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-54453752816713585192016-10-27T11:00:00.003-04:002016-10-27T13:29:05.231-04:00<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-family: "HCo Gotham SSm", sans-serif; font-size: 0.9375em; font-stretch: normal; line-height: 1.813; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; max-width: 42.75rem;">
<b>BELIEVE IT OR NOT: THIS MOTHER WAS LUCKY...</b></div>
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<span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">A Monaco judge has granted full custody of Hermes, 9, and Helena, 6, to Rutherford’s ex-husband Daniel Giersch, according to leaked documents obtained by the </span><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3361080/Kelly-Rutherford-NEVER-able-bring-children-Monaco-judge-makes-final-ruling-grants-custody-ex-bitter-years-long-case.html" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #067ab4; text-decoration: none;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Daily Mail</em></a><span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">.</span></div>
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Moving forward the children – who have lived with their father in Monaco and France since 2012 – will remain with Giersch and, while the parents must make decisions concerning their kids’ lives jointly, Rutherford is “only permitted to ‘exercise her visiting and accommodation rights exclusively in France and Monaco.’ “</div>
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<span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">New York-based lawyer Susan Moss, a partner at Chemtob Moss & Forman who is not involved with Rutherford’s case, tells PEOPLE that, after Rutherford’s appeals in both </span><a href="http://www.people.com/article/kelly-rutherford-custody-case-judges-rules-california-has-no-jurisdiction" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #067ab4; text-decoration: none;">California</a><span style="font-size: 0.9375em;"> and </span><a href="http://www.people.com/article/kelly-rutherford-court-appearance-post-keeping-children" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #067ab4; text-decoration: none;">New York</a><span style="font-size: 0.9375em;"> state were denied, “What the Monaco court is doing is saying, ‘We have jurisdiction, and we want to keep it.’ ”</span></div>
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Actually this mother was extremely lucky that her visitation wasn't terminated as I've known mothers whose contact with their children was terminated for a lot less...For instance: just talking with your children about the possibility of them living permanently with you at some point in the future can be grounds for termination of contact. So yes be aware that Judges can claim this as evidence of emotional abuse and use it to terminate your contact.<br />
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I guess this woman was lucky because she was famous...<br />
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One last note: I've never heard of this <span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">happening to a man but I've had a number of </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">mothers contact me and say </span><span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">their visitation with their children was terminated for this reason...actually with men the courts bend over backwards for them to have visitation </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">even enforcing it when they are in prison, forcing mothers to bring children inside</span><br />
<span style="font-size: 0.9375em;">dangerous prisons to visit these men...</span></div>
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Kelly Rutherford will have to relocate probably; maybe to England and schedule her<br />
visitation from there, as I don't even think they would allow her to live permanently in either Monaco or France now...at least she'll be just a train ride away from her children and maintain her contact with them as much as the courts will allow. </div>
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Anyway I wish her luck...</div>
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<span style="font-family: "hco gotham ssm" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">http://people.com/celebrity/kelly-rutherford-custody-battle-ex-daniel-giersch-wins-full-custody/</span></span></div>
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<span class="vjs-control-text" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: inherit; clip: rect(0px 0px 0px 0px); color: inherit; font-size: inherit; height: 1px; line-height: inherit; margin: -1px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; position: absolute; width: 1px;">Current Time</span>0:41</div>
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<span style="box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; font-size: inherit; line-height: inherit;">/</span></div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-75641568343542695152016-01-09T22:01:00.002-05:002016-01-09T22:21:59.014-05:00Repost from 2006: Issue Still Remains Relevant Ten Year Later<div style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 24px; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; margin: 0px; position: relative;">
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">
The Brotherhood</span></div>
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<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-8889706486534218267" itemprop="description articleBody" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18.2px; width: 950px;">
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">I found the following policy changes from China vis-à-vis adoption for single parents (really single women as few </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">single men ever adopt, even through they’ve had the ability to do so for decades now) rather interesting. It </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">followed very closely on the heels of other countries such as England and the Netherlands banning the use of </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">anonymous sperm donors anymore (they are now illegal in both places).</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">So this is just continuation of the hate campaign against women in their role as mothers as men continue their </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">ongoing attempts to be in charge of everything again.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/20/us/20adopt.html?pagewanted=print</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Clearly listening to the 'spin' emanating on a daily basis from the western media about how horrible mothers are </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">(particularly single mothers, but they are targeting all mothers ultimately with this propaganda), how many of us </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">murder our children, abandon them regularly to homeless men (as the current movie “The Pursuit of Happyness” </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">would have us believe), how insignificant the mother/child bond is compared to say a male penguin bonding with </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">an egg, or a sperm donor with a dixie cup, all of this propaganda and spin, going unchallenged for the most part, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">led to the recent turnabout in China’s adoption policy.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">The same way it incited England and the Netherlands to outlaw anonymous sperm donors a year or so back.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Now, of course, every woman in either of those countries wishing to become a mother, without the requisite male </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">overseer being put in charge of her, will have to leave these places to seek out donors elsewhere. This will </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">probably lead to more sickness being spread amongst the general populations there, as many other countries </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">that allow anonymous sperm donors aren’t as careful about testing for various blood-borne diseases as England </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">or the Netherlands probably was.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">It will probably also lead to more women becoming pregnant through one-night stands and just refusing to </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">identify the recreational sperm donor. Since remember even going to the trouble and expense of using a sperm </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">bank is really a ‘tip of the hat’ to women’ ethics in this area, trying to avoid involving a sperm donor in the </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">expense of raising a child he had no wish to create. It’s not something women need to continue doing, if it </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">becomes too much trouble and expense for them to bother with.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Additionally, it will lead to further drops in populations in the west, as women will continue not having children </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">under the threats of these ongoing custody wars incited by men. Most of these custody/legalized abduction </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">actions instigated to relieve men of the financial responsibility of fatherhood. Anyway, that’s the real motivation </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">behind women using all of these extraordinary processes to have children: anonymous sperm donors, single </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">parent adoptions of foreign orphans, etc. It is women in their ongoing attempts to try and head off some stingy </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">cheapskate/control freak from having any legal rights to her children. To short-circuit the use of the power of the </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">state to harass and terrorize her and some poor kid for up to 18 or so years, if not permanently…</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Last, but not least, even though many women here don’t want to face this part, it will eventually lead to the same</span><span style="background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18.2px;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18.2px;">thing happening in the US of A. It’s just a question of time really. The writing is on the wall (in spite of the many </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18.2px;">highly publicized stories about celebrities such as Mary Cheney being allowed to impregnate herself, probably </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18.2px;">via an anonymous sperm donor) this is not an option that is going to be available much longer for women in this </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee; line-height: 18.2px;">country.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Ideas have consequences, as this latest example of the reaction to single women from the west adopting their </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">unwanted population of girl children in China has shown us.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">As I, for one, don’t think for a moment that this policy was changed due to the best interest of those orphans. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">China, as a society, has shown its complete lack of regard for its female population many times. Even the fact </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">that most of the those orphans are girls shows the low regard that their society places on women to begin with, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">that’s why baby girls are abandoned in the first place. Since the one-child policy has been put in place, everyone </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">wants a boy. Thus a girl baby is tossed out like an old pair of shoes in the nearest ditch, so a mother can be </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">allowed a ‘do-over’ and try for a boy with a second pregnancy. Actually now that they have sonar technology, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">many in China just abort a girl fetus as soon as it’s identified, so the whole Chinese orphan situation can pretty </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">much become a moot issue in a few years anyway.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Anyhow single women adopting these little girls and bringing them to the west to raise them had little or no </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">impact on China overall. Other then saving some girls from either death or a miserable existence, once they </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">become adults in a society that could care less about women. Nevertheless, I think it’s instructive for us to </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">review how/why the adoption policy came to be changed recently; as it can tell us a lot about what to expect </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">in the future for western societies.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">So what was the rationale underlying China’s policy changes: I believe it was threefold: the first one being the </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">usual backhanded swipe at western civilization in general. This is similar to what progressives in the US did when </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">they helped ban white middle-class families from adopting black orphans. It’s part and parcel of the whole </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">bruhaha that we saw flare up over the Madonna adoption controversy, for instance, as in: better a million children </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">dead of starvation in the streets before allowing a westerner to adopt a single one of them.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">The second one, I believe, is sheer, vicious, spitefulness aimed at women who have some autonomy. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Obviously in a society, such as China, where women are the low ‘man on the totem pole’ it must gall the average </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">man over there to see western women with some control over their own lives. Western women can travel alone, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">obviously we have a good economic standard of living if we can afford to travel to China to arrange an adoption </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">and raise a child alone, etc.,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Also, the petty spitefulness behind some of the criteria is pretty obviously directed against women since as I </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">said previously, we are the majority of single parent adopters of children in China and everywhere else really. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">So now, no fat women can be allowed to adopt a Chinese orphan as: “The guidelines include a requirement </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">that applicants have a body-mass index of less than 40.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">A totally unnecessary, ridiculous, petty, spiteful qualification added just to frustrate women, for the most part. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Since few single men adopt, although they’ve been legally allowed to do so for decades now. Thus a rule such </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">as this is clearly going to have a disparate impact on women. They’ll probably set up scales at the airports to </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">weight western women and send them packing, if they are over the weight requirements.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Idiots. Why not just ban fat women from traveling to China as tourists while you’re at it? That will be the next </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">step. We waste too much gas transporting you back and forth on planes will be the rationale.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Anyway to the final reason, which I frankly believe is probably the most important one. That in spite of the </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Chinese wanting to step on the toes and aggravate western civilization whenever possible, without being too </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">obvious about it (ala Paris of the Orient), they nevertheless also recognized the loss of power western men </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">experienced once western women had legal rights on par with him, including and especially the control of our </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">own reproductive processes, ie., as in the right to decide if, when and how we are going to create our own </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">families. So in spite what was probably a ferocious inner struggle, the Chinese ultimately decided to help the </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">“brotherhood” maintain their overall status by striking a blow against western women’ choices in this area. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Hopefully, by helping western man restrict women’ choices, they could help them regain some of the control </span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">lost to us.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Sad really.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">That man everywhere is so self-centered and greedy for power and control over their sisters.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #eeeeee;">Thus the struggle continues.</span></div>
NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-58194029579515422252015-12-28T14:25:00.001-05:002015-12-28T14:26:48.043-05:00Attempting to be a Stay-at-Home Mom Led to Fraud<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #002269; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 24.0pt; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Whitefish Bay couple charged with health care, food
benefits fraud<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #959595; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">By <a href="http://www.jsonline.com/about-us/29973764.html"><span style="color: #002269;">Bruce
Vielmetti</span></a> of the Journal Sentinel<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #777777; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Dec. 22, 2015</span><span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">A
Whitefish Bay couple has been charged with fraudulently collecting nearly
$115,000 in state health care and food benefits from 2007 to 2014, when one of
them was earning about $160,000 a year.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Authorities
say Mary Carini-Gallagher, 51, and Todd Schaller, 52, repeatedly misled the
state Department of Health Services about their joint finances and living
arrangement.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">State officials didn't spot
the alleged fraud, even after the couple and their home were <a href="http://www.jsonline.com/features/home/country-city-meet-in-blended-familys-whitefish-bay-home-5h4uqu6-147789815.html"><span style="color: #002269;">featured in a Milwaukee Journal Sentinel "At Home
With" feature story in 2012.</span></a> That didn't happen until
someone sent the Office of Inspector General an anonymous letter in July 2014.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Carini-Gallagher
faces counts of public assistance fraud, collecting benefits and failing to
disclose events affecting eligibility. Each is punishable by up to five years
in prison.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Schaller
faces two counts of conspiracy to commit public assistance fraud and a single
count of getting less than $2,000 in public assistance benefits by fraud. The
first two carry the five-year maximum sentence, and the third count has a
maximum prison term of 18 months.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Both
were charged Friday and made their first court appearances Tuesday. Court
Commissioner David Sweet released both on $1,500 signature bonds and set
preliminary hearings for Jan. 22.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">According
to the criminal complaint:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Investigators
raided the couple's home in the 5900 block of Santa Monica Blvd. in March. At
that time, investigators found several records indicating the couple had
resided together since 2007. Each had children from previous marriages, and one
child together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Carini-Gallagher
had initially qualified for and received public assistance. But when she moved
in with Schaller, who was an executive at a concrete company, she failed to
inform the DHS about her change in circumstances, time after time, even after the
couple bought the house in Whitefish Bay in 2009.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Carini-Gallagher
also claimed to DHS that one of her daughters was still living with her when
the daughter was, in fact, living and studying in Thailand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">In
January 2013, Schaller applied for food stamps for himself, listing his two
older children as part of his household, though they resided with their mother,
while omitting that he lived with Carini-Gallagher, her children, and the
couple's own daughter. Four days before he applied, Schaller had gotten a
$53,369 severance check from VCNA Prairie Material, a major supplier of mixed
concrete in the area.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">While
detectives were in her home serving the search warrant in March,
Carini-Gallagher first said she had just skimmed the various public benefit
forms and didn't realize she was supposed to report her change in household.
But she later admitted intentionally misleading the state about her true
situation to continue getting the extra money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">Carini-Gallagher
"stated that being a mother was what she was born to do and that she
falsified the information to DHS so she could stay at home with her
children."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt;">The
2009 purchase price on the 2,300-square-foot, four-bedroom home: $380,000. The
current value is estimated at well over $400,000.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I’m of two
minds regarding this situation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">One, in the
end, the woman finally became honest and admitted she wanted to stay home and
raise her children herself and she didn’t have the income to support that…Of
course the man she was living with had the income; but, he simply decided it
was cheaper to not marry her and assume responsibility for her and the children
from a previous relationship.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">So she
constructed a middle-class life-style, which was basically a lie, in order to
become the stay-at-home mom she clearly wanted to be. In the process, she defrauded the state and it’s
taxpayers for thousands claiming benefits to feed, cloth and provide health
care for herself and her children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">My second
thought while being sympathetic to her cause, is that she should be held
accountable for her actions as women like this enable idiots like her live-in
boyfriend to get away with his ‘spit in the face’ to our society’s norms and values.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">He presented
a fascade to his neighbors and portrayed himself as one of them. For all intents and purposes he was a loving
faux husband and father providing his family with a home and feeding and
clothing them just like all his neighbors were doing for their families,
blended or otherwise. Meanwhile he was doing this on the backs of his neighbors
since it was his neighbors who were feeding and providing free health care for
his faux family…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">So punishment
must be meted out to both, arrangements must br made to pay back the monies
they owed. I just hope the main
punishment doesn’t fall on the mother here and it is properly apportioned
between this pair.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-20299985619323131912015-12-21T12:20:00.001-05:002015-12-21T12:20:51.839-05:00Small Victory for Children<div style="font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; padding: 0px 0px 11px;">
<b>Small Victory for Children</b></div>
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I think part of this outcome was expected as some adult had to pay for support of the child. The gratifying part of this was that for the first time, to my knowledge, a Judge recognized the underlying fraud that was involved in this situation and is allowing the fraud case to proceed.</div>
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Now I know that most of this sort of fraud is instigated by women against men; so they can collect child support and thus live off that income until the child becomes an adult: the infamous 'paternity fraud' men are always screaming about...Yes, it does happen but in one sense it's almost a more or less normal occurrence since historically that's how women survived by bearing children and having men take care of them in the traditional family unit of mother and child. I have to laugh to myself when I think how many sons and daughters of Kings and Princes could have been the product of handsome stable hands and other ordinary men who just happen to come in contact with the royal family. </div>
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So yes, even today, I can see a mother engaging in paternity fraud and still loving her child. </div>
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Yet when men do this I find it repugnant as there is something totally alien and abnormal about the whole thing...</div>
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Anyway I don't believe that TMZ is corrrect and that if Sherri Sheppard wins her fraud case her child support order will 'disappear'. Nothing will ever wipe that child support order out and this man who defrauded her can declare bankruptcy and wipe out the fraud award to Sherri Sheppard. </div>
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Sad but true.</div>
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However what it will do is put one more nail in the coffin of this surrogacy business and begin lessening the number of its supporters and that's a good thing for children...</div>
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<span style="font-size: 14px;">Read more:</span><span style="font-size: 14px;"> </span><a href="http://www.tmz.com/2015/07/01/sherri-shepherd-lamar-sally-divorce-finalized-child-support/#ixzz3uyWO0A69" style="color: #003399; font-size: 14px; text-decoration: none;">http://www.tmz.com/2015/07/01/sherri-shepherd-lamar-sally-divorce-finalized-child-support/#ixzz3uyWO0A69</a></div>
<div style="font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; padding: 0px 0px 11px;">
<span style="color: #106296; font-weight: 600;"><a href="http://www.tmz.com/person/sherri-shepherd/" style="color: #106296; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Sherri Shepherd</a></span>'s nasty divorce and custody battle is finally over ... and stunningly, she has agreed to pay child support for the kid she disavowed from birth ... but with a catch.</div>
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Our sources say, Sherri and estranged hubby <span style="font-weight: 600;"><a href="http://www.tmz.com/person/lamar-sally/" style="color: #106296; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Lamar Sally</a> </span>have struck a settlement agreement in which the ex-'<span style="font-weight: 600;">View</span>' co-host will pay $4,100 a month in child support. The monthly obligation increases to $4,600 when the kid turns 13. </div>
<div style="font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; padding: 0px 0px 11px;">
Remember, Sherri fought Lamar tooth and nail in court, claiming he defrauded her into <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2014/08/05/sherri-shepherd-surrogate-birth-baby-boy-lamar-sally/" style="color: #106296; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 600;">getting a surrogate</span></a> to carry a baby for the purpose of getting child support.</div>
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Now for the catch. According to the settlement agreement, Sherri is allowed to pursue her fraud claim and if the appeals court rules in her favor, her child support obligations will disappear. </div>
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And there's a <a href="http://www.tmz.com/person/sofia-vergara/" style="color: #106296; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="font-weight: 600;">Sofia Vergara</span></a> twist ... the couple has embryos in storage and Sherri wants them destroyed. Lamar is undecided. According to the settlement, if Lamar chooses to bring the embryos to term, Sherri will not have to pay child support.</div>
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Sherri's not walking away completely empty-handed ... she'll get to hold onto the rights to her show, "<span style="font-weight: 600;">Funny Mothers</span>" which is currently in development.</div>
<span style="font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Read more: <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2015/07/01/sherri-shepherd-lamar-sally-divorce-finalized-child-support/#ixzz3uyWO0A69" style="color: #003399; text-decoration: none;">http://www.tmz.com/2015/07/01/sherri-shepherd-lamar-sally-divorce-finalized-child-support/#ixzz3uyWO0A69</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-6649819447496679032015-11-03T18:24:00.003-05:002015-11-03T18:25:44.967-05:00Men Rewarding Themselves with Undeserved Financial Rewards<h2 class="date-header" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(219, 219, 219); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: #666666; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; font-stretch: normal; margin: 0px; min-height: 0px; padding: 0.6em 0px 0.5em; position: relative;">
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i>This is an old post I thought would be appropriate to re-post again particularly since I am reading about so many men who have contributed little or nothing to their families filing and receiving spousal support and/or alimony.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><br /></i></span><span style="background-color: white;"><i>We need to remind Judges of the historical origins of spousal support and alimony and why it is rarely justified in the case of men. </i></span><span style="background-color: white;">Child support, of course, is a totally different issue..</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Sunday, April 30, 2006</span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Unfair Manipulation of Marital Settlements and/or Spousal Support</span></h3>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I don’t know maybe I’m crazy but I find the article below to be a perfect example of men working the legal system to benefit themselves by misusing the common sense body of matrimonial laws that were crafted to protect women (who were more financially vulnerable) during the early periods of our history. These laws are basically holdovers from the time when women did not work outside the home, when husbands controlled any property she had, while her primary focus was on raising the children and/or running the household for the benefit of her family, including her husband. Clearly when women were in that situation, you had to have laws for equitable divisions of assets and/or spousal support.<br /><br />Also these laws made sense in the context of a society where women faced the additional problem of discrimination in hiring if we did wish to work outside of the home. Men NEVER faced this work discrimination situation just because they were men; nor did they stay at home with the children running the household and missing out on educational and professional opportunities due to focusing on their family.<br /><br />Thus, I believe we should rarely, if ever, consider spousal support for a man and place stricter limits on division of marital assets for everyone. This division should depend upon what each spouse actually contributed to the assets of the household or the negative impact their contribution to their family had on their own career or professional advancement and that it occurred during the life of the marriage.<br /><br />For example, a man obtained a professional degree in a lower-paying profession, worked in that profession for years obtaining a fair salary, paid into a TDA for retirement, took no time off from work for family-related matters: sickness, child care, etc., He spends most of his money putting it into his own investments/retirement account or buying cars or other expensive electronics gizmos for himself such as big-screen televisions to watch the game on or some expensive hobby for himself. One example: he decides to buy a ‘working farm’ that he can putter around on every weekend claiming it’s a vacation home for the family. Even though every other member of the family hates it but him and never wants to go there.<br /><br />Remember, even though women spend more on shopping what are we shopping for most of the time? Usually we aren’t shopping for expensive gizmos for our own use, but food, clothing for our families (including our husbands as I shopped for my ex-husband ALL the time buying his clothes), pharmaceuticals and other household related items.<br /><br />So can someone explain to me WHY a man who does what I outlined above should get HALF of the marital assets (as he didn’t add anything to those assets spending MOST of his salary on himself) or why he’s entitled to spousal support (since he already has a professional career, albeit a lesser paying one then his ex-wife and took no time off from work to raise his kids or run the household) Thus, his marriage had NO negative impact on his earning power whatsoever?<br /><br />Basically unless he can make the case that he spent time on his family and out of the job market which hurt his career/earning capacity OR maybe he saved some money for the higher earner spouse by being home with the kids and avoiding the payment of a maid/nanny for a substantial period of time, then he should get out of the marriage just what he contributed, his own salary, investment/retirement account and whatever clothes, cars/gizmos he purchased over the years.<br /><br />After carefully reviewing this article, there was no mention of ANY of these men helping with children or tending the household while their wives worked. Or any sacrifice any of these men made for their families which might have been a mitigating factor entitling them to spousal support or even a 50/50 division of the family’s assets, mostly contributed by their ex-wives.<br /><br />Additionally only ONE of the women in the article, who was forced to give 50% of her assets to a man, was a high earner in my opinion. Most of them inherited their assets or had invested in a home BEFORE marriage, which they were then forced to sell their one asset (which they obtained before marriage) in order to pay off an ex-husband with no mention of what these men sacrificed for their family that might have contributed to the lesser earning power or assets for these men.<br /><br />Also, as I said above, I don’t consider a teacher to be a low-paying profession that need to be compensated by a spouse that is an attorney just because one profession pays more then the other. A teacher is a professional position (at least in the US) paying anywhere from $40,000 to $65,000 depending upon the district you are employed in. The purpose of spousal support is NOT, nor should it be, to be used as a means of income transfer from one spouse to another just because one person chose a high-paying profession then the other one. Spousal support is supposed to be used to support a spouse who would have no income or a much lesser one (ie., a clerk in an office or a cashier/waitress in a restaurant) precisely BECAUSE they devoted themselves to their home and family and thus, didn’t have the time or money to devote to education and becoming a professional. Generally this would apply to a stay-at-home parent (usually a mother) who devoted herself to bearing the children of the marriage and then stayed home to raise them. I don’t have any sense in this article that any of these men getting awarded these settlements did ANY of this…<br /><br />One of them is described as a teacher, who just chose a professional that made less money then his lawyer wife. There is no mention of him devoting any additional time to any children of the marriage or to the family in anyway; that might have impacted his earnings ability. Another is a man who clearly worked and made good money but then chose to spend most of it on expensive cars. Another was in a short-term marriage for three years to an actress who was working as an actress before she married him. A third was just married for seven years (another short-term marriage) and then his wife was forced to pay him out of an inheritance she received from a family member.<br /><br />Child support, of course, is a differing situation but I heard no mention of this in the article.<br /><br />So based upon all these observations, these are outrageous examples of men who worked the system and got undeservedly enriched.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2157953_1,00.html" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;">http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2157953_1,00.html</a><br /><br /><br />The Sunday Times<br /><br />April 30, 2006<br /><br /><strong>Superwomen pay price in divorce court</strong><br />John Elliott<br /><br />HIGH-FLYING career women are discovering a costly downside to their success — divorce settlements that force them to pay out huge sums to their less wealthy ex-husbands.<br /><br />Law firms are reporting an increasing number of cases in which men earn windfalls through divorce as women outperform their husbands in the workplace.<br /><br />One London law firm, Mishcon de Reya — which handled the divorce of Diana, Princess of Wales — is currently dealing with 10 cases where the wife earns more than the husband.<br /><br />Sandra Davis, head of family law, said the wives were “serious players, businesswomen who are going to have to pay money to their spouses”.<br /><br />Dawsons, another London law firm, is dealing with six divorces in which the woman is earning well into six figures. Suzanne Kingston, head of family law, said:<strong>“There’s the possibility of a spousal maintenance order to the husband . . . most women don’t imagine they would be liable for this, so it surprises them.”</strong><br />The rate of change has been rapid. <strong>“Twenty years ago there were no reported cases of men obtaining money from their wives on divorce — now it is routine,”</strong> said Simon Bruce, head of family law at Farrer & Co, the Queen’s solicitors.<br /><br />Among the high earners who have paid out to ex-husbands is <strong>Kate Winslet, the actress. A payment of about £500,000 was agreed to finalise her divorce in 2001 from Jim Threapleton, her husband of three years. </strong><br /><br /><strong>For Susan Singleton, a mother of five from Pinner, Middlesex, her divorce three years ago meant handing over nearly £900,000 to her ex-husband Martin after 20 years of marriage. As a lawyer, her earnings are over £200,000 and dwarf those of her former husband, a teacher and organist.</strong><br /><strong>Singleton’s divorce settlement forced her to remortgage the £1.9m family home for £1.1m, and she also pays school and university fees of £50,000 a year.</strong> “I’m in the same position as a lot of men who work very hard, earn a lot of money, and then the person they happen to have been married to gets a share of that, even though they haven’t really built it up,” she said. “Why should the spouse who earns less get a share of the higher-earning one’s income?” Martin Singleton said: “I was urged to get more by my solicitor but settled for less so she didn’t have to sell the family home. I wouldn’t want to seem greedy, I only got what I was entitled to.<br /><br />Financial experts predict that in coming decades more women will have to pay out former husbands, as greater numbers are promoted to top jobs. Last year the number of female millionaires in the 18-44 age bracket overtook the number of men — 47,355 compared with 37,935, according to a study by the Centre for Economics and Business research. Women will own 60% of the UK’s personal wealth by 2025, up from 48% now, the researchers found.<br /><br /><strong>In a divorce, women can also be required to hand over money inherited from their parents, as Barbara Dowell, a 48 year-old marketing executive from Rutland, discovered last year. Dowell, who has one child, said she inherited £500,000 in 2000, only to hand over about half of it to her husband on divorce, after 14 years together.</strong><br /><strong>To fund this the family home was sold for about £300,000, and she lives in a rented house and pays school fees for their son, whose residence is shared.</strong><br />Dowell said: “I am now funding him (the husband) through my inheritance. It makes me extremely angry.”<br /><br />Her former husband was not available for comment.<br /><br /><strong>Liz Haskell, 56, from Woodbridge, Suffolk, said she paid her ex-husband £50,000 last autumn after seven years of marriage ended. Haskell, who said she inherited her assets, said: “It was a slap in the face — I feel cheated by the system.</strong><br />So often it’s just rich men you read about having to pay off women with their millions.”<br /><br />Her former husband was also not available for comment.<br /><br />One divorcee from Berkshire in her late fifties, who asked not to be named, described her former husband as a “creature” whom she hoped encountered anthrax. “He only married me for what he could get out of me,” she said. “<strong>He squandered his own earnings on Porsches and Jaguars (and) didn’t contribute to the family.”</strong><br /><strong>The mother of two, who said she had inherited her wealth and owned the family home outright before she met her husband, said she had been forced to sell up for £700,000 and split the proceeds</strong>. <strong>The woman, who married 22 years ago and divorced in the late 1990s, added: “He abandoned the children . . . we’re living in a house the size of a postage stamp now.”</strong><br />Nicola Horlick, the City fund manager and mother of five, now divorced from her husband Tim, argues that divorce law needs reviewing. “There are an awful lot of people getting upset,” she said. “Fathers who don’t believe they have enough access to children; men who believe they have paid out too much — and wives who believe they have paid out too much.”</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">9 comments:</span></h4>
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<dt class="comment-author " id="c114666811758111589" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c114666811758111589"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px;" title="silverside" width="16" /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;">silverside said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-114666811758111589" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">I don't think it is often realized that 20-30 years ago, an abuser would often imprison his wife at home and not let her work. Now, he's just as likely to "let" her work, but pimp off her wages through harrassment and threats (emotional abuse)or even physical violence. Then he can show up at court (assuming she leaves him), and claim to be a male June Cleaver.<br /><br />These men always have options. We live in a society that always overvalues male labor relative to female labor. Except for the most uneducated, unskilled and/or disabled, men can always support themselves quite well, at least relative to women, when they want to. Women have to have a lot more education, work experience, ambition, hard work, and just plain luck to get anywhere close to what men in the same line of work make. But just as soon as we bust our asses, thinking we can have a nice life, nice car, nice home of our own, here are the guys trying to bust us down the ladder again, but this time through a new scheme called "fairness" in divorce. BS. Same old crap on women stuff.</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1146668100000#c114666811758111589" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">10:55 AM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-335881690" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=114666811758111589" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author blog-author" id="c114667966547626116" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c114667966547626116"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><a class="avatar-hovercard" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" id="av-1-05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px; position: relative;" title="NYMOM" width="16" /></a></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;">NYMOM</a> said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-114667966547626116" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">I'm not even sure if there is any 'abuse' going on here as basically most of these couples appear to be very ordinary people, nothing extraordinary about any of them with the exception of the actress (nor were any of these men even mentioned as helping out around the house as a June Cleaver type, like your lazy loafer ex-husband) that's the worrisome part...The only thing different about these women from you and me was that they either came into an inheritance or had a paid off house that could be leveraged...<br /><br />I mean it's obvious if the legal system offers you some extra money from your partner during a divorce, you are going to accept it...as one said he was only getting what he was 'entitled to'...<br />That's what so aggravating about the whole article...MOST of the scenarios they are describing are just ordinary women, not these "high flyers" they refer to...<br /><br />I mean just because you managed to buy a house on your own before marriage or your parents passed away and left you a small inheritance does that put you in the category of being a 'high flyer' now????<br /><br />AND just because you happen to have a better paying job then your spouse, does that mean you have to give them a portion of your salary, savings, whatever, automatically upon divorce? I mean there has to be some common sense discovery/investigative aspect to this in order to ascertain whether that person actually contributed something to the family that caused a disadvantage and put them into a lower income position due to that specific family contribution...<br /><br />Otherwise men can go off into all kinds of 'hobby' jobs like your ex...and fool around on a 'farm' all day playing with baby animals and then turn around and claim spousal support or half of whatever YOU have from your hard-earned income and investment savings...I'd love to be able to fool around with animals on a farm all day, that's what I did on a few vacations...went to a dude ranch in upstate NY actually and had a ball: riding horses, swimming, playing with dogs, rabbits, feeding baby goats, going on hayrides, cookouts, etc.,...<br /><br />I mean that article mentioned the male teacher was also an 'organist'...and as soon as I heard that my antenna went up as I thought 'musician'...I know a LOT of women supporting these layabout 'musicians'...who do absolutely NOTHING but hang out with their friends 'jamming' and getting high all day...they aren't even providing child care so the women still have to pay for that...<br /><br />This sort of behavior is not worthy of even spousal support or 50% of the household assets...<br /><br />I think the problem is that our legal system is trying to pound a gender-neutral peg into a very gendered and specific hole, if I might say it...and it's not going to work.<br /><br />The rules of spousal support, alimony or even division of household assets make sense in reference to women, as we contribute something unique to the relationship: our child bearing capacity...PLUS we were discriminated against at one time in the outside the home job market...men don't bring anything of this nature to the table NOR did they ever face discrimination in employment just because they were men...so it doesn't make sense to treat them the same as women in this area...it's almost like taking the historical discrimination history of black men and applying it to ALL men and then giving them benefits and preferences based upon that 'stolen' history...<br /><br />Oh wait a minute, MRAs are already doing this...<br /><br />I forgot.<br /><br />Anyway men are turning more and more into a serious liability these days and that article is a perfect example of what I'm always writing about here...men working the system for their own benefit and using our kids as well as the laws passed for vulnerable women in their role as mothers' to benefit financially for themselves...<br /><br />Men's most valuable socially constructed role was providing the economic wherewithal for mothers to bear and raise their children within...Now that so many have decided they no longer wish to do this, they are heading into that limbo of 'totally useless entity heading rapidly into extinction'...<br /><br />I guarantee you that none of these women are going to be marrying again OR wanting to have any children after being taken advantage of like this (and they'll be passing along the info to their daughters, nieces, and other young women impacting their decisons as well...<br /><br />Additionally since most of those women are pretty ordinary, they will NEVER be able to make up that money again either...it's not like a high flyer who is going to be making that money back over the next few years...it's just gone...<br /><br />Outfreakinrageous...</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1146679620000#c114667966547626116" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">2:07 PM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=114667966547626116" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author " id="c3781727128930547037" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c3781727128930547037"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px;" title="Anonymous" width="16" /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Anonymous said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-3781727128930547037" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">I do not understand why the angry posts on what happened above. It seems like what you are saying is that if men make more money, then they should pay spousal support, but if women make more money, then they should not.<br /><br />This is truly the dumbest article and comments I have seen in my life.</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1192821840000#c3781727128930547037" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">3:24 PM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-772137814" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=3781727128930547037" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author blog-author" id="c2145401448773829380" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c2145401448773829380"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><a class="avatar-hovercard" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" id="av-3-05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px; position: relative;" title="NYMOM" width="16" /></a></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;">NYMOM</a> said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-2145401448773829380" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">I'm saying that Judges must keep in mind the 'original intent' of spousal support and it cannot be used to just reward men in short or long-term marriages just because a women happens to make more money then him.<br /><br />The evolution of spousal support was an automatic monetary award to women because we had a defined role in a historic moment in time, This society no longer exists.<br /><br />So today even if men do remain at home for some period, there is no social or legal impediments to them returning to work, as existed for women.<br /><br />AND I warned you already about your tone.</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1193494320000#c2145401448773829380" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">10:12 AM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=2145401448773829380" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author " id="c8299232554295603464" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c8299232554295603464"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px;" title="Anonymous" width="16" /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Anonymous said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-8299232554295603464" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">[i]<br />I do not understand why the angry posts on what happened above. It seems like what you are saying is that if men make more money, then they should pay spousal support, but if women make more money, then they should not.<br />[/i]<br /><br /><br />NYMOM,<br />can you REALLY not see the validity of this argument ???<br /><br />I find it incredible what you people are saying. Have you ever heard the expression:<br />"Wanting to have your cake and eat it" :)</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1217124240000#c8299232554295603464" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">10:04 PM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-1954312216" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=8299232554295603464" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author " id="c8196066479775053954" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c8196066479775053954"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px;" title="Anonymous" width="16" /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Anonymous said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-8196066479775053954" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Women have a double shift. Men rarely if ever work this double shift. Women bring in the bacon, thten have to fry it up and wash the pan too in about 85% of cases that I have observed (being "nice"/conservative about this figure). Blind egalitarianism is all this is. A law that was set up to help women is being used against them. Just like the "shared parenting" nonsense (see the Liz Library). The woman does most of the actual work of childrearing and the man "plays" with the kids more - and doesn't have to pay anything.</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1239836400000#c8196066479775053954" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">7:00 PM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-412393703" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=8196066479775053954" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author " id="c5318560254655196386" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c5318560254655196386"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px;" title="Anonymous" width="16" /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Anonymous said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-5318560254655196386" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">"Women have a double shift."<br /><br />No, actually they don't. Nobody makes them do anything they do not want to do when it comes to roles in a relationship - and you are generalising massively. What we are talking about is the LAW, not a lifestyle choice. I am truly staggered that anybody can make this double-standard argument - frankly you should be embarrassed in trying to justify this.</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1241790600000#c5318560254655196386" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">9:50 AM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-719431791" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=5318560254655196386" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author " id="c738959349220672153" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c738959349220672153"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container avatar-stock" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><img alt="" height="16" src="https://img1.blogblog.com/img/blank.gif" style="border: 0px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; padding: 1px;" title="Anonymous" width="16" /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;">Anonymous said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-738959349220672153" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">To be fair to my ex (quoted in the article) he worked as hard as I did (except it was teaching not law) and did a bit more childcare than I did although it probably worked about about equal.<br /><br />The inequity in my view whether you are male or female is that both of you could work fulltime as we both did but one picked a low earning career eg nurse or teacher and the other built up a business without help from their spouse and just happened to be better off. English divorce law allows the full time working lower earner who has sacrificed nothing to get at least 50% (more in our case). I don't agree with the English law principle of that sharing of assets/income and I would say that whether I were male or female.</span></dd><dd class="comment-footer" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 1.5em 0px;"><span class="comment-timestamp" style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/04/unfair-manipulation-of-marital.html?showComment=1405941378983#c738959349220672153" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="comment permalink">7:16 AM </a><span class="item-control blog-admin pid-244878869" style="display: inline;"><a class="comment-delete" href="https://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=738959349220672153" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;" title="Delete Comment"><img src="http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif" style="border: none; position: relative;" /></a></span></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-author " id="c8288188228866047179" style="font-weight: bold; margin-left: -45px; padding-left: 45px;"><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="c8288188228866047179"></a></span><div class="avatar-image-container vcard" style="float: left; height: 37px; left: -45px; max-height: 36px; overflow: hidden; position: absolute; width: 37px;">
<span dir="ltr" style="background-color: white;"><a class="avatar-hovercard" href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/01990869371295770014" id="av-8-01990869371295770014" rel="nofollow" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;"><img alt="" class="delayLoad" src="http://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-_o6y30MK46U/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAABY/SU5VEDqFnhE/s35-c/photo.jpg" height="35" longdesc="http://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-_o6y30MK46U/AAAAAAAAAAI/AAAAAAAAABY/SU5VEDqFnhE/s35-c/photo.jpg" style="border: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); float: right; max-width: 36px; position: relative;" title="Meg Valery" width="35" /></a></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/profile/01990869371295770014" rel="nofollow" style="color: #4d469c; text-decoration: none;">Meg Valery</a> said...</span></dt>
<dd class="comment-body" id="Blog1_cmt-8288188228866047179" style="margin: 0.5em 25px 0.5em 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">After 9 years in marriage with my hubby with 3 kids, my husband<br />started going out with other ladies and showed me cold love, on<br />several occasions he threatens to divorce me if I dare question him about his affair with other ladies, I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet Dr. Trust who help people with the relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contact him, he helped me cast a spell and within 24hours my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stooped going out with ladies and he his with me for good and for real. Contact him today on his website (http://oviatample.webs.com) and email him on oviatample@gmail.com this great spell caster for your relationship or marriage problem at: or call him on his cell phone. +2348077357453. (http://oviatample.webs.com).<br />Good luck.</span></dd></dl>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-7820900400824373532015-10-28T15:50:00.001-04:002015-10-28T15:51:40.586-04:00'Rent-a-Womb' Surrogacy Faces Ban in India<b>'Rent-a-Womb' Surrogacy Faces Ban in India</b><br />
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India's government will ban foreigners from using surrogate mothers in the country, a move likely to hit the booming commercial surrogacy industry.<br />
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Ranks of childless foreign couples have flocked to the country in recent years looking for a low-cost, legal and simple route to parenthood.<br />
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Health industry estimates put the size of India’s surrogacy business at nine billion rupees ($138 million) and growing at 20 per cent a year.<br />
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But critics have said a lack of legislation governing surrogacy encourages “rent-a-womb” exploitation of young, poor Indian women.<br />
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In an affidavit to the Supreme Court today, the government said it “does not support commercial surrogacy”.<br />
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“No foreigners can avail surrogacy services in India,” it told the court, which is hearing a petition regarding the industry, adding that surrogacy would be available “only for Indian couples”.<br />
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Thousands of infertile couples, many from overseas, hire the wombs of Indian women to carry their embryos through to birth.<br />
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Click for more from news.com.au<br />
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This is a long overdue initiative by the Indian government. <br />
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People are not entitled to have children just because they have a couple of thousand dollars available and can hire a young woman relatively inexpensively to carry a child to term for them.<br />
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I'm actually surprised India let it go on for as long as they did.<br />
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Surprisingly enough Russia has a more enlightened policy then we do on this surrogacy business. All persons involved have no legal rights to the children born through these arrangements, no matter how much money exchanges hands. So there is no incentive to conduct these transactions financial or otherwise.<br />
<br />
We see the potential for disaster inherent in these arrangements starting with the Baby M case and right up to the present day with Sherri Shepherd (former host of the View) trying to negative a surrogate contract because her husband filed for divorce before the child was even born to the surrogate...<br />
<br />
Let's just say no as India is now doing.<br />
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<br />NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-45065255531186840522015-10-23T12:56:00.003-04:002015-10-23T15:19:23.702-04:00Event Horizon Rapidly Accelerating on Custody Outcome...<div id="article-top-ad" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: none; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-color: initial; border-style: none; font-family: brandon-grotesque, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; left: 0px; list-style: none; margin: 20px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; position: relative; text-align: center; top: 0px; width: auto; z-index: 200;">
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<span class="kicker kicker-important" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 50%; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-color: rgb(238, 0, 119) !important; border-top-style: solid; border-width: 3px 0px 0px; color: rgb(238, 0, 119) !important; display: block; float: left; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; font-style: inherit; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: -3px 12px 0px 0px; padding: 7px 0px 0px;">People Exclusive</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Kelly Rutherford Allowed to See Kids in Monaco as </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">New Custody Hearing Is Set for October</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">BY <span class="author" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 50%; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">MICHELE CORRISTON</span></span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">09/04/2015 AT 01:30 PM EDT</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Despite fears that <a class="tracklink3" href="http://www.people.com/people/news/category/0,,personsTax:KellyRutherford,00.html" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 50%; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #067ab4; font-family: brandon-grotesque, sans-serif !important; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Kelly Rutherford</a> would lose access to her two </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">children after her ex accused her of</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> abducting them last month, the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">star is spending time with them after Thursday's </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">court appearance in </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Monaco. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">The <em style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 50%; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: inherit; font-family: brandon-grotesque, sans-serif !important; font-weight: inherit; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Gossip Girl</em> actress was spotted grabbing lunch with </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">son </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Hermes, 8, and daughter Helena, 6, in the South of France on Friday. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">A source says </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">that the current parenting arrangement – in which she </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and German businessman Daniel Giersch </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">have joint custody but the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">children live primarily with him and Monaco and France – remains in </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">tact, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">though there is a new court date set for Oct. 26.</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">"Everybody agrees that it's best that the children be with both parents,</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">and Kelly's enjoying </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">being with them," the insider tells PEOPLE. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Rutherford, 46, <a class="tracklink3" href="http://www.people.com/article/kelly-rutherford-arrives-monaco-custody-hearing" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: 0px 50%; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 0px; color: #067ab4; font-family: brandon-grotesque, sans-serif !important; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; letter-spacing: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">attended a two-hour hearing</a> </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Thursday in Monaco, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">another source says. She's been fighting to bring Hermes and Helena </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">back</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">to the United States, where they were both born, since 2012, when a </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">judge sent them abroad to live with </span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">their father temporarily.</span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">******************************************************************************************************************************</span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">I hope I am wrong, but I see a very sad outcome at hand for </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Kelly Rutherford. I believe she </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">might have her visitation either </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">terminated or limited to a once a year visitation scenario under </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">supervision </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">or something of that nature.</span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Generally in these sorts of situations where a mother won't quietly </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">accept the court's decision </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">termination of contact is often the final outcome...</span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Maybe because she's famous and has made such a stink about the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">whole thing, they'll settle for </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">supervised once a year visitation until the children </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">are teenagers or something of that nature. </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Generally for the rest of us 'average' moms our visitation would have </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">already been terminated. </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">It's why I support so-called 'Joint Custody' as it's the lesser of many evils </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">offered to mothers when </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">they have children with men who are determined to </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">fight it out in court for custody. Courts </span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">today are not friendly to women, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">especially mothers.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></h2>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-81847611994556010282015-04-16T13:24:00.000-04:002015-04-16T13:50:59.859-04:00Worse Custody Ruling Ever, Not Quite<div align="center">
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<span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 45.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #2a2a2a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"><a href="http://pagesix.com/2014/08/13/gossip-girl-star-in-custody-fight-feels-betrayed-by-justice-system/" style="background-color: white;">‘Gossip Girl’ star in custody
fight feels betrayed by justice system</a></span></span></span></h2>
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<span style="color: #2f2f2f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By <a href="http://pagesix.com/author/rich-calder/"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #345cc6; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">Rich Calder</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">August 13, 2014 |
8:14pm<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Gossip Girl” star <a href="http://pagesix.com/tag/kelly-rutherford/"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #345cc6; font-family: "inherit","serif"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">Kelly Rutherford</span></a> says she
feels betrayed by Uncle Sam.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“My own country won’t
protect the rights of my own children,” said the beautiful blond actress,
fuming, after storming out of a Manhattan federal courtroom briefly Wednesday
to compose herself </span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">as
she suffered a big setback in </span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">her bid to keep her son Herm</span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">é</span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">s, 7, and daughter
Helena, 5, in the US.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Manhattan federal Judge
Andrew Carter Jr. said he wouldn’t interfere with a California state judge’s
2012 order requiring the kids to live with their father, Rutherford’s
ex-husband Daniel Giersch, in France. Although Carter won’t officially issue
his written opinion until Friday, he said he doesn’t believe he has jurisdiction
to issue any type of order prohibiting the children from returning to
France once their summer vacation ends next week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The couple has 50-50
custody, but </span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">as
Page Six reported Wednesday, </span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span><span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Rutherford, 45, of Manhattan, <a href="http://pagesix.com/2014/08/13/kelly-rutherford-fights-to-bring-deported-kids-back/"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #345cc6; font-family: "inherit","serif"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;">claims her kids are basically
being “deported”</span></a> through an odd legal fluke.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Giersch, a German
citizen living in France, was expelled from the US for alleged visa fraud and
failure to pay taxes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Since he can’t visit
the children in the US, a California state judge ordered that the children
should remain with him during the school year. A cash-strapped Rutherford
over the past two years has flown more than 40 times to France to see her
children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In another legal
rarity, Rutherford’s legal team – which is working for free because the
actress has already gone bankrupt shelling out $1.5 million in legal fees –
recommended the government take steps to allow Giersch back into the US so
that he’d no longer be able to dance around the legal loopholes allowing him
to keep the American-born children in France.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: #FBFBFB; line-height: 18.0pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Carter agreed to
“facilitate” the plan, at one point allowing Giersch’s and Rutherford’s
lawyers to meet in his robing room to discuss the idea. However, it was
unclear afterwards if Giersch wants to pursue getting his US visa back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“He has benefited by
doing nothing,” said Michael J. Wildes, a lawyer for Rutherford. “This case
underscores the blind spots in our law. We have a broken immigration system.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A composed Rutherford
said afterwards that she was thankful the judge and feds agreed to help
broker an agreement with her ex. However, a half hour earlier she was
noticeably upset after briefly leaving the courtroom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She said her children as
US citizens have a right to be educated in America and that “something like
this would never happen” in any other country– especially “Germany.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She also said the legal
system is unfair because her children – “who are US citizens” — are being
“forced” to leave America while she’s stuck paying taxes to help support the
children of parents “who illegally crossed our borders.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Rutherford filed suit
on August 5 against US Attorney General Eric Holder and other federal
officials, seeking a court order declaring the California ruling
“unconstitutional” so that her children could remain in the country.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“No similar case could
be found where children who were born and raised in the United States were
deported from their own country, where their mother still resides, to
accommodate the demands of a non-citizen parent forbidden to re-enter the
United States,” the suit says.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Carter, however, said
the children aren’t being “deported” in the official sense and that he
believes their constitutional rights are not being violated. He said the
“state court made a determination that the children should be with the
father” and that he’s “convinced” he doesn’t have jurisdiction to overturn
such a ruling.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #2e2e2f; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Rutherford’s lawyers said they’d consider
taking the case to the Second Circuit Court of Appeals once Carter’s
dismissal is official. However, time is running out because the children are
required to return to France on August…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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This poor woman has just lost her final court appeal...<br />
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Well this was heartbreaking, but a good
lesson to other mothers. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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“STAY OUT OF COURTS WITH THESE
ONGOING CUSTODY FIGHTS. </div>
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THE COURTS ARE
NOT YOUR FRIEND”<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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Sadly, our courts have been
overrun with mens rights nuts and crazy gender neutralized feminists who are
always looking to demonstrate that men and women are completely the same by
removing children from their mother’s custody.
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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Of course, right on schedule, the
children were immediately dumped off on Giersch’s mother who has a permanent
residence in Monaco. I wonder if they’ll
even speak English by the time they come back to the US which will probably
happen when they are adults…<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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BTW, after six months or so of
residence in another country, state, whatever, Giersch can re-file his court
papers in the children’s new place of residence and get himself legally
declared sole custodian and then this poor woman won’t even have the fiction of
“50/50 custody” to comfort her.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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Although Ms. Rutherford appears
to believe this is the only time this situation has happened, I have heard of a
number of mothers having their children legally relocated to other countries with
court approval. So in some sense the children
are lucky, especially her daughter. She
could be living in the mid-east right now, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Russia, China, anywhere. Fortunately they are living in a stable European
country, their grandmother is caring for them and I assume they will be in a
proper school at some point.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
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Someone commented in another
article about this decision that it was “the worse custody ruling ever”…but I
must disagree. The worse custody ruling
ever was when a California female Judge returned two children to OJ Simpson
even though they had been living with loving grandparents for almost a year during his murder trial. There was no reason to overturn the stable
environment they were already living in, OJ could have visited them on schedule
like non-custodial parents everywhere do, he could have retained parental rights w/o upsetting the stability of the childrens' lives. How many mothers do I know who lost custody with that exact rationale, many.<br />
<br /></div>
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If I live to be 100, I will never get over that custody ruling...<br />
<br /></div>
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“Best interest of the children” it’s laughable really when you look at many
of the rulings coming from these courts… <o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 24.75pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 1;">
I was actually waiting for this
to happen to Halle Berry when she started this whole court fight to move to France with her daughter.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 24.75pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 1;">
Halle was very, very lucky that
time, I hope she doesn’t repeat this error of judgment by attempting to go back
to court on other issues in the future.
It could end badly for her.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 24.75pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 1;">
Anyway I reiterate: stay away from courts mothers please.<o:p></o:p></div>
NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-22826339882393830852015-03-24T12:32:00.000-04:002015-03-24T12:32:51.655-04:00Scary World Today...I wrote this post a number of years ago. I believed it at the time and I still do today but what I didn't realize was how quickly these societies would be moving towards their own destruction.<br />
<br />
I just pray that the West is not taken down with them when their final curtain falls.<br />
<br />
Iran with a nuclear bomb is probably the beginning of the end for them.<br />
<br />
<br />
*******************************************************************************<br />
<br />
<br />
I love how people, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, continue to believe that we are seeing some sort of Renaissance in these parts of the world that practice discrimination against women and infanticide...<br />
<br />
Sad, that they can't face the truth...<br />
<br />
I posted this in 2006 and the West has been doing nothing for the last few years but putting out fires in these places using our own military as a sort-of super police force in both Asia and North Africa...<br />
<br />
Yet there are still those who believe that these societies are functioning examples for the West to follow...<br />
<br />
Unbelievable...<br />
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SATURDAY, JULY 15, 2006</h2>
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<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="115302299036774777"></a><br />
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Too Little, Too Late to Save These Societies from Retribution for their Crimes Against Their Sisters</h3>
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After observing the events in the mid-east and throughout Asia this week, I think it is a good time to repost this particular blog entry, less we forget the ultimate consequences of fooling around with nature's grand design. In every species, including our own, (until recently) females have always made up the bulk of the population. For anyone with any common sense whatsoever, it's pretty obvious why. Too many males = too many alphas: too much infighting within the species over territory, access to females, resources; too many dominance displays leading to death and injury, etc.,<br />
<br />
When we attempt to play God, we ultimately only fool ourselves. Forgetting that we are JUST another group of living beings on the planet earth, more intelligent perhaps, but at the end of the day just another link in the evolutionary chain.<br />
<br />
We forget the essence of humanity at our peril. We are not Gods but just another species of living beings on the planet.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>India Sex Selection Doctor Jailed </strong><br />
<br />
A doctor in India and his assistant have been sentenced to two years in jail for revealing the sex of a female foetus and then agreeing to abort it.<br />
<br />
This is the first time medical professionals have been jailed in such a case.<br />
<br />
Under Indian laws, ultrasound tests on a pregnant woman to determine the gender of the foetus are illegal.<br />
<br />
It has been estimated that 10m female foetuses may have been terminated in India in the past 20 years.<br />
<br />
Dr Anil Sabhani and Kartar Singh were caught in a sting operation in the northern state of Haryana.<br />
<br />
Government officials sent in three pregnant women as decoy patients to find out if the clinic would carry out abortions based on sex selection.<br />
<br />
Audio and video evidence showed the doctor telling one woman that tests had revealed that she was carrying a "female foetus and it would be taken care of".<br />
<br />
A cultural preference for sons over daughters has skewed India's sex ratio.<br />
<br />
But convictions are rare due to lax and corrupt officials and the slow judicial system.<br />
<br />
The government brought in laws 12 years ago to stop the practice of aborting female foetuses.<br />
<br />
<em>Social evil </em><br />
<br />
The president of the Indian Medical Association (IMA), a grouping of doctors, Dr Vinay Agarwal said the convictions were "historical".<br />
<br />
"The medical profession is doing all it can though we have to address this as a social evil. People should be proud to have a girl child," he said.<br />
<br />
The northern states of Punjab and Haryana have some of the worst gender ratios in India.<br />
<br />
There are about 861 women for every 1,000 men in Haryana, according to the census. The national average is 927 women to 1,000 men.<br />
<br />
The national average has gone down from 972 in 1901 to just 933 in 2001, according to reports.<br />
<br />
Earlier this year researchers in India and Canada said in the Lancet journal that prenatal selection and selective abortion was causing the loss of 500,000 girl births a year.<br />
<br />
If this is true, 10m female births may have been lost in India over the past two decades.<br />
<br />
Indian doctors, however, disputed the report saying pre-birth gender checks had waned since a Supreme Court crackdown in 2001.<br />
<br />
<em>Tradition </em><br />
<br />
Leading campaigners say many of India's fertility clinics continue to offer a seemingly legitimate facade for a multi-billion pound racket and that gender determination is still big business in India.<br />
<br />
Experts in India say female foeticide is mostly linked to socio-economic factors.<br />
<br />
It is an idea that many say carries over from the time India was a predominantly agrarian society where boys were considered an extra pair of hands on the farm.<br />
<br />
The girl child has traditionally been considered inferior and a liability - a bride's dowry can cripple a poor family financially.<br />
<br />
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/4855682.stm<br />
<br />
<br />
This is good of course, but far too little, far too late.<br />
<br />
Yes doctors and other medical personnel involved should be arrested. But the technology must be removed as well. As quite frankly that region of the world has demonstrated by their behavior, that they are not fully mature enough as societies to have free access to all technology since they behaved irrresponsibly with sonogram machines. They used them for sex selection MILLIONS OF TIMES and thus, created an inbalance of millions of men in their societies.<br />
<br />
Thus a refusal to sell them sonogram machines or parts to repair the ones they currrently have as they break must be instituted. This boycott should include other technology as well, including military as if they couldn’t handle a sonogram machine, they can’t handle any military technology either, especially nuclear.<br />
<br />
That’s for sure.<br />
<br />
The other issue is I wish they would stop pointing to the dowry as being implicated in this, as the dowry tradition has NOTHING to do with this.<br />
<br />
Nothing.<br />
<br />
It’s a complete red herring, strawman, whatever…<br />
<br />
As we in the west have the same dowry tradition and have more women then men in our society. Actually the dowry tradition here has morphed into women, if they wish a big wedding, to pay for most of it themselves and with the cost of a wedding today, well basically you are spending your dowry on the wedding with flowers, dress, reception, honeymoon, etc., It has NOT turned into parents trying to murder girl babies in order not to help them pay for their wedding. The whole assertion is ridiculous and just another attempt by men (in Asia this time, although our men do the same at every opportunity) to shift the blame from something they did themselves and try to put it on historical forces, over which they supposedly have no control.<br />
<br />
Total and complete baloney.<br />
<br />
Additionally China, which has NO dowry tradition (they have a bride price to be paid when they get married) is in the exact same situation as India. Actually I just had a dicussion a while back with a good friend of mine from China. She’s been here about ten years and was very excited, as she has a son and just found out that here the bride’s family pays for the wedding.<br />
<br />
I didn’t have the heart to tell her with so many women marrying so late, that most of the women I know (myself included) pay for the wedding themselves AND frequently ask for some rather LARGE contribution from the groom and/or his family.<br />
<br />
Oh well.<br />
<br />
Anyway, both countries India and China (with two totally different traditions) have condemned themselves to years of social chaos by messing around with mother nature and causing an inbalance of men in their society. It’s not any tradition of either place that has done this, but the selfishness of modern-day men.<br />
<br />
Well, what else is new.<br />
<br />
Just reading “Bare Branches” by Valerie Hudson demonstrates how most of Asia shot themselves in the proverbial foot and now will be facing decades of civil unrest, high crime rates, wars, etc., Actually it’s no coincidence that many recruits for terrorism come from societies that have also done the same thing as <strong>India </strong>and <strong>China</strong>, places such as <strong>Pakistan</strong> and <strong>Saudi Arabia</strong>. Perverting all of the technology western civilization sold them to monitor the health of mothers and using it to abort girl babies. Now the resulting overflow of young men with no wives around to divert them into family life are fertile ground to be recruited into every quirky movement from Al Queda to Prestor John’s ultra-religious revival.<br />
<br />
One only has to look at the most recent TV newsfeeds featuring all of these surplus men in Asia created when they murdered their sisters, as they span the continent from the Gaza Strip right through to North Korea, chanting like idiots or marching in goose step to their doom. Asia is finally reaping the bloody harvest from the decades they continued spitting in the face of mother nature and now her terrible retribution has begun. The chaos this continent is descending into this week is just the beginning of their final agony.<br />
<br />
Anyway, these regions are going to be living with their decisions now for the next couple of decades, maybe centuries. I just know one thing, they better not be trying to export the problems they have created to the west either…<br />
<br />
<strong>The important thing for those of us in the west to remember is NOT to allow this part of the world to drag the rest of us down with them. They have brought this punishment on themselves THROUGH THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL ACTIONS and must bear the brunt of it ALONE as well.<br /><br />We have no idea where this will end, but we need to step back and let justice take it's hard but fair course without interference.</strong></div>
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posted by NYMOM | <a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html" style="color: #716e6c;" title="permanent link">Saturday, July 15, 2006</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115302299036774777&from=pencil" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px 0px -5px 0.5em !important;" width="18" /></a></span></div>
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5 Comments:</h4>
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<dt class="comment-poster" id="c115474495615665821" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c115474495615665821"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.kittennews.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">Maximus</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Hello nymom,<br />
<br />
Look, I don't want to rattle your tree or anything, but there's some pretty big mis-assumptions in this post of yours.<br />
<br />
Some of these things I shall reveal, you may find shocking - so hang-on to your chair Grandma.<br />
<br />
But first let me agree with your opinion that jiggering the male/female population to reduce female numbers is not beneficial for men. Indeed it should be the other way around. Indeed, populations need to have the female numbers increased two, three, or even four fold. This way each man can have several women to work for him and to bear his children. He of course could live a life of leisure whilst his women folk toiled and pleasured him. This is of course as it should be as you correctly point out.<br />
<br />
However, here are the things that are likely to concern you some.<br />
<br />
Shock No 1 - We don't need to sell India sonogram machines, nor parts to repair them. You see, having all those men around in India has lead to a technological boom there. The men in India have no problem whatsoever in making their own high tech machines and in fact, they even sell them to us here in the west.<br />
<br />
Shock No 2 - We don't have to sell them sharp end weapons either. They make their own. And don't you go thinking that they can't create and manufacture their own nuclear bombs. India has had their own indigenous nuclear industries, including weapons (and the missiles to deliver them) for at least the last two decades. Yep, that's right - India is a nuclear power. In fact both India and China both have highly developed massive armies with very pointy-end technologies and if combined they could easily match and challenge us here the west.<br />
<br />
They don't need our technology. They've got lots of creative and inventive clever MEN who invent and create things - like the west used to have before feminism castrated its male population.<br />
<br />
Shock No 3 - India and China are very unlikely to experience "years of social chaos" as you suggest, in the future. Why? Well simply this...<br />
<br />
Both India and China are absolutely exploding with technological and futuristic developments, the likes of which the US and the west has failed to achieve because of stuffing around with feminism and dumbing down boys at school, etc. Over the next few decades, India and China will emerge as the two greatest powers in the history of the planet, ever.<br />
<br />
Don't worry, I don't think they'll do us any harm. They'll be too busy selling us their nice inventions, goods and commodities and living the good life.<br />
<br />
But what about their lack of women? - I hear you say.<br />
<br />
Well, with all that power and money - affluence - do you really think that they're going to be womanless? Of course they will not. Western women - of which there are far too many already who can't find a man - will be clawing each other to pieces in their frantic race to attach themselves to nice rich and powerful Asian gentlemen.<br />
<br />
You see, Grandma, you really don't have a clue about what's really happening in the world today and how devastating feminist Marxism has been to the Western world.<br />
<br />
Can't happen? - you say.<br />
<br />
Start reading the news more often, dear. It already has. Have you checked the latest US balance of payments statistics lately? Guess who's in debt and guess who they owe money to.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c115474495615665821" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">10:29 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-501542011" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115474495615665821" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c115481330389658829" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c115481330389658829"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Well let's just wait and see shall we about how much 'chaos' is generated in Asia over the next few decades by having such an inbalance of males in the population...<br />
<br />
Okay...<br />
<br />
I'm sure you've from the same group of thinkers who predicted an Islamic Renaissance as soon as we realized how much oil they had and how much wealth it would generate relative to their populations numbers...and look where that led.<br />
<br />
They used most of their oil wealth to buy weapons and fight endless wars over nothing with each other...that's when they weren't killing their girl children and plotting the destruction of both Israel and/or the west...<br />
<br />
The state of the arab countries are a microcoism of what we are going to see on a much larger scale in both India and China as this problem plays itself out over the next several decades.<br />
<br />
Read Valerie Hudson's book "Bare Branches" for some insight into this situation...</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c115481330389658829" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:28 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115481330389658829" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c115481346698728410" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c115481346698728410"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
BTW, I don't give a damn about the balance of payments statistics lately.<br />
<br />
Okay.<br />
<br />
A balance sheet does NOT change anything essential about human nature.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c115481346698728410" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:31 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115481346698728410" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c6685845483019335649" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c6685845483019335649"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
NYMOM,<br />
<br />
i hate to interupt your man hating and the delight at the prospect of these countries full of terrible evil men suffering the fate they deserve for selecting male children over female children but a few points as well:<br />
<br />
all the suffering will not only be for men in these countries but women as well.<br />
AND it wont be limited to these countries. they are world superpowers and the chaos if it happens will spill over to other places including here. so your precious western feminists will have their utopia upset. AND<br />
<br />
these things, while morally wrong to abort female babies over male, will have it's upside. a huge worforce full of productive men instead of selfish narcissistic women draining it of resources and money will advance them even further. while we worship at the feet of women who are only concerned with what society and men can do for them, india and china will be a juggernaut of production. AND<br />
the population problems in these countries will be solved in a civilized way instead of the slow agonizing self absorbed entitlement suffering we will experience.<br />
you may not like gender selective abortions, i dont either but it will have its benefits. unlike you i don't advocate sitting back gloating while people who dont share the same views that i have suffer. you have pretense of being this wise, all knowing and compassionate human being but i think you are a sub human idealogue, no better than a nazi sympathizer.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c6685845483019335649" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:53 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-996686700" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=6685845483019335649" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7691989661685915040" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7691989661685915040"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
That is not what is going to happen in countries that have an inbalance of males over females...<br />
<br />
But only time will tell which one of us is right...<br />
<br />
So we'll just have to wait and see...</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c7691989661685915040" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">9:30 AM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=7691989661685915040" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd></dl>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-42955320269673830322015-03-24T11:37:00.001-04:002015-03-24T11:37:11.450-04:00More Investigation is Needed and More Charges Required<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 6pt 0.0001pt 0in; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="color: #ee2e24; font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; letter-spacing: .75pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-transform: uppercase;">EXCLUSIVE<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #bcb7b1; font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; letter-spacing: .75pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; padding: 0in;">03.19.15</span><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 15pt 0in 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<b><span style="font-family: "Arial Narrow","sans-serif"; font-size: 34.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">They Ran My Little Girl to Death<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-line-height-alt: 14.4pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="font-family: 'Arial Narrow', sans-serif; font-size: 14.5pt; letter-spacing: 0.9pt;">Heather Walker's daughter, Savannah, died
after her grandmother and stepmother allegedly forced her to run laps until she
collapsed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; padding: 0in;">Heather Walker thought she had finally reached the end of a
grueling three-year custody battle for her 9-year-old daughter, Savannah
Hardin. But the next time she saw Savannah, the little girl was in a coma
after allegedly being forced to run laps for hours as a punishment for eating
candy bars.</span></i><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; padding: 0in;">Now, Savannah’s grandmother Joyce Hardin Garrard is on trial for
capital murder in connection with Savannah’s death, and the girl’s stepmother,
Jessica Hardin, has been charged with murder for allegedly failing to intervene
when Savannah pleaded for help.</span></i><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; vertical-align: baseline;">
<i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; padding: 0in;">Walker, who declined to speak publicly about the tragedy for three
years, told her story in an exclusive interview with The Daily Beast.</span></i><span style="font-family: "inherit","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/03/19/they-ran-my-little-girl-to-death.html">http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/03/19/they-ran-my-little-girl-to-death.html</a><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think we need to look at this story a little more closely.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see a greedy and selfish father who managed to get custody
switched to himself when he wasn’t even at home to take care of this little
girl; then immediately started alienating the mother from her daughter while at
the same time dumping her care off on his mother and new wife.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Of course, his mother and wife are totally responsible for
what happened during the torture murder of this little girl; but shouldn’t some
responsibility be laid at this man’s feet as well? How does he manage to get off scot-free? If
this was a woman, she would have been charged just for leaving the girl in a
dangerous situation. Plenty of women go
to jail with the same or higher sentences for leaving children with an
abuser. Don’t tell me this guy didn’t know what his
own mother was about. Clearly he did and
chose to leave his daughter anyway… <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Additionally I think we need to look at the line-up of
custody cases the presiding Judge in this case handled to ensure he hasn’t placed more kids in dangerous
situations, switching custody to parents who are not even in the home to take
care of these kids.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BTW, this is a very common ploy of men who wish to get out
of paying child support. Switching
custody and then dumping their kids off on whatever woman is available to
provide free child care for them…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is more investigation to be done in this case, much
more before we close the book on it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-71305165749225775752014-09-12T11:54:00.000-04:002014-09-12T11:54:41.517-04:00Crimes Against the Community<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<u><span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif";">Crimes Against the Community<o:p></o:p></span></u></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<u><span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif";"><br /></span></u></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">I think we have to take a serious
look at the murder of five children by Timothy Ray Jones, Jr. and examine the
circumstances that led up to it. There
are a number of reports from neighbors and social service agencies that this
guy was a “nut”…Now it’s one thing if a “loving parent” just goes crazy and
does something like this; however, I don’t think this is always the case and we
have to start examining the circumstances that led up to this man having
custody of five children. Or, let’s face
it, even having five children if he was a “nut”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">What did the mother of these children
know and when did she know it? <br />
What about other family members? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">As we can see with the infamous Rice
elevator assault, woman often actively protect these characters and give them a
fascade of normalcy. So, of course, the larger
community is shocked if and when a more serious crime is later committed by
them. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">Woman must be held accountable,
especially if they have children with dangerous and mentally unstable men and
something of this nature happens down the road.
People often forget that there are other victims here: the larger community and other children who
become traumatized by this sort of event, especially if they went to school
with or were neighbors of the older children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">I don’t want to dwell too much on
these sorts of mass murders as they are rare.
Few men and women murder children; however, what isn’t rare is men or
women having children with unstable persons, covering it up for years (for various
reasons, embarrassment, financial gain, etc.) and then ‘playing stupid’ when
some such horrible crime is later committed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #363636; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt;">People who assume the role of ‘beard’ for unstable partners need to be held
accountable for aiding and abetting in whatever crimes they commit on innocent
children or their community later in life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-10437417830079902362014-01-30T13:03:00.000-05:002014-01-30T13:06:16.153-05:00Sometimes less is more...<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Reading this story reminds me of another case
recently (Baby Veronica) where the courts made a ruling that was another attempt at pursuing the
social engineering theories that often pass as ‘best interest of the child’
custody rulings. I will link one of
them, although I am sure there are hundreds of others. Although on the surface these two cases appear
different, in fact, they have one thing in common: Courts over-analysis of the facts of a previous
ruling and the subsequent social-engineering changes following from that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">First of all I should clarify my own opinion of courts
ruling on custody of children: Less is
more. BTW, this is the thinking behind
custody not being overturned, no matter the change in circumstances of the
non-custodial parent. In other words if a
child is already in a custodial arrangement where they are happy, healthy and safe,
there is absolutely no reason to look at changing it I repeat: “no matter the change in circumstances of the
non-custodial parent”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Custody (and this includes temporary custody) should
only be allowed to be revised through the courts if a change in circumstances
takes place in the ‘custodial’ home that actually might have some impact on a
child’s life…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">This means that if you are, for instance: using drugs when your child is young or living
in a car when your child is young and custody of said child must be given to
someone else due to these or similar situations, you don’t get a do-over if you
straighten up your act later in life. It’s
great that you straightened up; however, it should not mean that a child is
uprooted from a happy, stable home to be returned to you, in the hope, that you
will continue being able to care for them:
that you won’t be recalled into the army or lose a job and wind up in a
car again, etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Again, I think ‘custody’ (even temporary) needs to
begin being looked at as more or less a permanent arrangement unless you have a
‘change in circumstances’ in the actual custodial caretaker’s life. You should not be allowed to petition the
court to change it unless you have proof of a substantial change in
circumstances in the ‘custodial’ home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">We have to begin reigning in this whole ‘custody’
business that has sprung up over the last 20 odd years or so. I guarantee you that ‘back in the day’ someone
living in a car, whether or not they used drugs, would never have had a prayer of
getting a court to hear a petition to overturn another custody arrangement
their child was living in, even a temporary one. Court over-involvement in these issues has
led to these abductions we are always hearing about…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 27.0pt; margin-bottom: 7.5pt; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<b><span style="color: #111111; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 24.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Richard
Wayne Landers Jr., Indiana Boy Abducted In 1994, Found In Minnesota<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 12.0pt; margin-bottom: 6.75pt;">
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<div style="background: white; line-height: 15.75pt; margin-bottom: 11.25pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">INDIANAPOLIS — An Indiana woman
whose young son was abducted 19 years ago was screaming and "jumping up
and down" after learning he was living in Minnesota under a different
name, her husband said Thursday shortly after police announced they had found
him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 15.75pt; margin: 0in 0in 11.25pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Richard Wayne Landers Jr. was just 5 years old when he and his
paternal grandparents, who were upset over custody arrangements, disappeared
from Wolcottville, a town about 30 miles north of Fort Wayne.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 15.75pt; margin: 0in 0in 11.25pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Indiana State Police said the now 24-year-old Landers was found
in Long Prairie, Minn., thanks in part to his Social Security number. His
grandparents were living under aliases in a nearby town and confirmed his
identity, investigators said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 15.75pt; margin: 0in 0in 11.25pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Police declined to say whether the grandparents would face
charges, citing the ongoing investigation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; line-height: 15.75pt; margin: 0in 0in 11.25pt;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Landers' mother, Lisa Harter, was "jumping up and down for
joy" when investigators told her a few days ago that her son had been
found, her husband Richard Harter told The Associated Press in a telephone
interview.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">He said his wife is "the happiest woman on earth."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Harter said he and his wife were working with an attorney and
hoped to reunite with his stepson soon. Police said Landers is married and
expecting his first child.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Harter declined further comment and referred questions about the
case to his attorney, who didn't immediately return phone messages Thursday.
Investigators declined to release the names under which Landers and his
grandparents had been living.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Police said the boy's paternal grandparents, Richard E. and Ruth
A. Landers, abducted him in July 1994 because they were "upset over
pending court proceedings" regarding his placement.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 15.75pt;">Police spokesman Sgt. Ron Galaviz said it appears the boy's father was never in
the picture. Lisa and Richard Harter had married a year earlier.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Authorities believe the grandparents took the boy from their
home in Wolcottville and fled. They were charged at the time with misdemeanor
interference with custody, which was bumped up to a felony in 1999. But the
charge was dismissed in 2008 after the case went cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Investigators reopened the case in September when Richard Harter
turned over the boy's Social Security card to an Indiana State Police
detective.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">That turned up a man with the same Social Security number and
date of birth living in Long Prairie, Minn., about 100 miles northwest of
Minneapolis. A driver's license photo for the man appeared to resemble Landers,
police said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">Indiana State Police then contacted Minnesota law enforcement
agencies, which began investigating along with the FBI and the Social Security
Administration.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">The grandparents were found living in nearby Browerville, Minn.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 11.5pt;">"By all accounts, it didn't appear he suffered from any
abuse, either physical or mental," Galaviz said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-38756530713097977052013-09-06T09:56:00.001-04:002013-09-06T10:08:52.686-04:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 25.5pt; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; mso-outline-level: 1;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">Sad but Inevitable End to this Story...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">I've been following this case for a few years and I hate to say it but the former adoptive parents of this little girl should just step back now and let the child remain with it's father. Or should I say the father's wife or his parents (whichever one he's dumped her off with to return to his military career). </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Unfortunately this is the inevitable result of allowing unmarried men to have the same legal rights as a child's mother. Men </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">contribute little or nothing to bringing children into this world and this particular recreational sperm donor contributed nothing long after the fact, Yet he was allowed to overrule the mother's action in placing this little girl up for adoption and into a stable family home two years after she had been legally adopted.</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Now everyone wants to play "let's fix this after the fact" but it's too little too late to do that. This child has now been living in whatever family arrangement her father has left her in since 2011, this is now 2013. </span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">She should not have her life disrupted for the second time. </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">The father has been arrested for custodial interference and posted a $10,000 bond but the real person who should be under investigation and posting a bond is the original judge in South Caroline who overturned established legal precedent in order to give a recreational sperm donor rights to a child who was already legally adopted into a stable family unit. </span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">This is another example of how mens' rights advocates and gender neutralized feminists have invaded our legal system and made courts a dangerous place now for mothers and children and also goes to show how one person can totally ignore the law as well as the best interest of a child and get away with it. Time is on the side of the person who knows how to work the legal system...sad really.</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Anyway, we are going to see fewer mothers placing their children into adoption and more abortions as they begin to realize that these recreational sperm donors can pop up years after the fact and overrule any decisions they have made in the best interest of their children.</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">The original adoption should not have been overturned but since it was and the child has now been another two years with a different family her life should not be disrupted a second time.</span></span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">Very sorry for everyone involved in this case.</span></span></div>
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<b><span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Helvetica","sans-serif"; font-size: 24.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Court rules for adoptive parents in Baby
Veronica case<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Richard
Wolf, USA TODAY</span></b><i><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #999999; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; padding: 0in;">12:55 a.m. EDT June 26, 2013</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #222222; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Little 'Baby Veronica' was adopted for more than two years, but
an obscure law preventing the breakup of Native American families had forced
her return to her father.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16.5pt;">WASHINGTON -- A sharply divided Supreme Court sided with a 3-year-old girl's adoptive parents over the legal claim of her father Tuesday in a case that revolved around the child's 1% Cherokee blood.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; line-height: 16.5pt;">In
doing so, the justices expressed skepticism about a 1978 federal law that's intended
to prevent the breakup of Native American families -- but in this case may have
created one between father and daughter that barely existed originally.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">While
four justices from both sides of the ideological spectrum found no way to deny
the father his rights under the Indian Child Welfare Act, five others --
including Chief Justice John Roberts, an adoptive father himself -- said the
adoptive parents were the consistently reliable adults in "Baby
Veronica's" life. They ordered the case returned to South Carolina courts
"for further proceedings not inconsistent with this opinion."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">That
the nation's highest court was playing King Solomon in a child custody dispute
was unusual to begin with. It had jurisdiction because Veronica is 3/256ths
Cherokee, and the law passed by Congress 35 years ago was intended to prevent
the involuntary breakup of Native American families and tribes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">In this
case, however, the first family to get broken up was the adoptive one in South
Carolina, led by Melanie and Matt Capobianco. They had raised Veronica for 27
months after her mother put her up for adoption. The father, Dusten Brown of
Oklahoma, bjected to the adoption only after the fact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Brown
won custody 18 months ago after county and state courts in South Carolina said
the unique federal law protecting Native American families was paramount. The
Capobiancos' attorney, Lisa Blatt, had argued in court that the law was
racially discriminatory -- in effect banning adoptions of American Indian
children by anyone who's not American Indian.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Associate
Justice Samuel Alito ruled for the majority that the law's ban on breaking up
Native American families cannot apply if the family didn't exist in the first
place. He said the father had not supported the mother during pregnancy, agreed
to give up parental rights in a text message, and changed his mind much later.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">"In
that situation, no Indian family is broken up," Alito said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Justice
Sonia Sotomayor, who dissented along with liberals Ruth Bader Ginsburg and
Elena Kagan and conservative Antonin Scalia, said Veronica now could have her
life unnecessarily interrupted for a second time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">"The
anguish this case has caused will only be compounded by today's decision,"
she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Only
once before has the law been tested at the nation's highest court. Nearly a
quarter-century ago, the court took Native American twins from their adoptive
family and handed them back to a tribal council in a case that Scalia recently
said was the toughest in his 26 years on the bench.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt;">Only
Scalia and Justice Anthony Kennedy were on the court for that 1989 case, in
which the court ruled 6-3 for an Indian tribe's custody rights. Scalia sided
with the majority, while Kennedy joined the dissent. They were in similar
positions this time as the court ruled against the law's intent -- Scalia again
on the father's side, Kennedy with the adoptive couple.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-7840952323622367352013-08-02T12:10:00.000-04:002013-08-02T12:10:00.274-04:00<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18pt; margin: 0in 37.5pt 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Interesting custody story in local news...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">This has become a rather interesting story of a custody fight between a basketball star and his wife. Now after these children have been with their mother as their primary parent for years while their father traveled on the road, suddenly every newspaper article I'm reading is painting this mother as 'crazy' or 'unstable'.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Now I don't know any of the principals in this situation personally and it could very well be that this young woman is suffering from the early stages of a mental breakdown, possibly even due to the stress of an almost 5-year long custody fight against her millionaire ex-husband; however, it just seems that this is a very typical story-line used when men wish to remove children from an already established custodial arrangement...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Actually most mothers that I know who have lost custody of their children were painted as 'unstable'. I've rarely heard of fathers having custody switched for being unstable. Generally the bar is set pretty high for custodial fathers and it takes proof of severe abuse or neglect before a mother can get custody of her children switched, once custody (even temporary custody) is established. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">One interesting sidebar I read was that the boys' father was working on Fathers' Day so he sent a family member to pick his kids up and when the mother refused to release them, this was used against her as more proof of instability. I wonder how a mother would have been viewed who could not rearrange her work schedule on Mothers' Day while she was trying to get custody switched to her as a primary parent?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">I have read many stories of how mothers lost custody of their children for working too much and using paid help to fill in for them. Yet if a father get custody and dumps his kids off on his mother or his latest girlfriend or paid help, this is considered fine. Not a reason for a custody hearing due to a substantial change in circumstances in the custodial situation, just business as usual.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">As I said I don't know if the mother of these children is unstable but I just find it strange that another mother has been painted with this broad brush and had her children taken from her and handed over to their father (who will be on the road traveling for much of their daily lives) because of her supposed instability</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 18pt;">.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 18pt;">Btw, if this mother sees any of that supposed 5 million settlement offer it would be a miracle and if she does manage to get any part of it, most will be used fighting in court to get to see her children over the years...she has a long road ahead of her.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 25pt;">Miami Heat’s Dwyane Wade Custody Battle
Rages On, Ex-Wife Unstable?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;">July 31, 2013 4:11 pm EDT by <a href="http://www.rantsports.com/nba/author/johnconnolly/" title="Posts by Will Connolly"><span style="color: blue;">Will Connolly</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 18pt;">According to the Miami
Herald, </span><a href="http://www.rantsports.com/nba/teams/miami-heat/" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 18pt;"><b><span style="color: blue; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Miami Heat</span></b></a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 18pt;"> star </span><b style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 18pt;">Dwyane
Wade</b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt; line-height: 18pt;"> was forced to hand his children over to his ex-wife, Siohvaughn
Funches, as custom to her visitation schedule. When Wade refused to do so
pending she take a psychological evaluation, the court had to step in and take
matters into their own hands.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">It was reported that
Wade felt Funches’ extremely strange and overly aggressive behavior during
their divorce proceedings was something to take note of, especially when she
sat outside the Chicago courthouse with a sign stating she was homeless and
telling her side of the story to any reporters who would listen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Wade shares two children
with Funches by the name’s of Zion, 9, and Zaire, 4. Wade filed for divorce in
2007 and after a tireless battle in the courts, was granted sole custody in
2011. But the battle wears on as Siohvaughn has recently been granted
visitation rights and was to have her second visitation last week, but
according to her attorney, Wade kept them from her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">To add to the
difficulties, Wade and Funches are apparently working out a $5 million divorce
settlement that is yet to be signed by either party.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11.5pt;">Now I am not one to pry, but it seems as though
Funches has been playing with Wade’s head for quite some time now. And yes, she
deserves to see her children, but not if she is psychologically unstable.
It’s come to my attention that the only one who suffers in this situation are
the children, who are consistently subjected to overzealous media, who trying
to get the best scoop and are hearing all these terrible things about each one
of their parents. I wish the best for D-Wade and I hope that when all is
settled and done, he and his two boys are happy and content.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-61507207942165049642013-04-12T12:36:00.002-04:002019-06-10T20:32:14.531-04:00Follow the Money..<br />
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I just came across this, oldie but goodie, which premise still holds true over 10 years after it was written by Professor of Family Law, Mary Ann Mason.</div>
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As usual if we 'follow the money' we can see where it leads: courts attempting to give illegitimate rights to men in order to generate child support payments from what are basically recreational sperm donors, who should have no more rights to children then the man in the moon. </div>
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The thing that troubles me is that people who presumably can act upon this have known about it for almost a decade and yet I have seen no significant changes in public policy to make any improvements in the situation...</div>
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Frankly I feel that if courts are going to rule on custody using a strictly biological relationship to the child then the maternal grandmother should have as much if not more rights then a biological father, since genetically speaking she is more closely related...</div>
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Women who can, need to start speaking up on these issues instead of just sitting around on their hands while these attacks on mothers and children are allowed to take place.</div>
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<span style="color: black;">NEWS RELEASE, 1/28/99</span></h5>
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<span style="color: black;">Modern custody disputes favor father's rights over child's welfare, according to UC Berkeley study</span></h3>
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<b>By Patricia McBroom, Public Affairs </b></div>
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Berkeley -- The modern
drive to expand fathers' rights in custody cases has resulted in a significant
decline in decisions made in the best interest of the child, according to new
research by a University of California, Berkeley, professor of family law.<o:p></o:p></div>
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States now give higher
priority to blood ties than to parenting and children can be ordered to live
with biological fathers they have never known, said Mary Ann Mason, a lawyer
and professor of family law at the UC Berkeley's School of Social Welfare.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"An unwed father who
has never seen his child will be given custody in most states in preference
to unrelated individuals who have done the actual parenting," said
Mason. "Unwed fathers now have the same rights as married fathers - a
major historical change of the past two decades."<o:p></o:p></div>
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She added that such
disregard for children's needs also occurs in divorce cases where courts
"have rushed to 'divide the child,' by insisting on joint custody and
ignoring what we know about early child development."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Children are not being
represented in court or given a voice of any kind, Mason says in a
wide-ranging analysis of custody law published this month (February) as a
book.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In "The Custody Wars:
Why Children Are Losing the Legal Battle and What We Can Do About It" (
Basic Books, N.Y.), Mason evaluates the contemporary and historical status of
custody decisions, demonstrating that modern-day courts have regressed in
their concern for child welfare.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This has happened, in part,
because states - now wanting to encourage unwed fathers to pay more
child support - offer unprecedented rights to them as parents based purely on
biology, not actual parenting, said Mason. In another arena, she added,
parental rights have been expanded via joint custody decisions - unwise in
the case of very young children who need stability in their lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Young children's best
interests are largely ignored in joint custody decisions," said Mason.
"If very small children could speak, they would not choose to divide
their lives in half. It is just not developmentally appropriate."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Courts have known this
about small children, ages six and under, since the turn of the century when
the "tender years doctrine" became law. Today, nearly 100 years
later, the doctrine - which favors a primary parent - is being ignored in a
"politically correct" move to joint custody, she said.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But it is in the case of
new rights for unwed fathers that Mason finds the most egregious examples of
a legal system that disregards the welfare of the child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Until a Supreme Court
decision in 1971, unwed fathers had no rights to child custody based on the
genetic relationship. Now, most states have given unwed fathers all the
rights of a married father.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"In the case of unwed
fathers," said Mason, "states have abandoned the child-centered 'best
interests' test. </div>
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Today, it must be shown only that it would be harmful to the
child to live with the biological parent, not merely in that child's best
interest." She said this means that a young child can be taken from an
adoptive parent with whom he or she has a strong attachment, as in the
celebrated case of Baby Jessica, because the biological rights of the father
have become paramount.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In Michigan, four-year-old
Baby Jessica was raised by adoptive parents only to be given in a custody
dispute to her biological father. The father was not married to Jessica's
biological mother and the child had never seen him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"If our first concern
was truly the best interests of children, we would look at unwed fathers in a
different light," said Mason. "We would look, first of all, to whom
is performing the actual parenting."<o:p></o:p></div>
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In a current California
case, an unwed father was allowed to make a paternity claim for a child being
raised by his former girlfriend and her husband.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the past, such a claim
would not have been tolerated by courts because their primary intent was to
preserve family stability. This time-honored tradition, in which the married
father was always the legal father, also protected the child.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But no more, said Mason.<o:p></o:p></div>
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By allowing this paternity
claim, the California court "paid little attention to the rights of
Brian, now age four, or even to his needs. His best interests were not
considered at all," she said.<o:p></o:p></div>
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If paternity tests bear him
out, said Mason, the unwed father may sue for custody and sink that family
into dispute, with serious psychological risks for Brian.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"Countless studies,
focusing both on married and divorced families, indicate that conflict
produces serious negative results in children who need the stability of a
primary parent," she said. "We should not be making the rights of
parents, whether the mother or the father, paramount in custody cases."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mason argues strongly that
children need advocates in court and that most custody disputes should be
settled on the basis of the needs and wishes of the child involved, with
changes depending on age.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Until they are adolescents,
children should be represented not only by attorneys, but by child advocates,
Mason recommends. Currently, psychological evaluations in custody cases test
only the personality fitness of the parents, through tests that detect
psychotic tendencies. They give little weight to who is doing the parenting,
and the evaluators rarely listen to what the children want.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As a result, it is common
for children to be forced to divide their lives or spend time with parents
they don't want to see, said Mason.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"This is not a
child-centered policy. The equal rights of the parents, not the best
interests of the child, are the guiding principle," said Mason. She
recommends that the United States follow the example of English courts which
have provided all children in custody disputes with two advocates -- a legal
and a personal representative -- since passage of the Children Act of 1989.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"The philosophy of the
Children Act is that children are usually the least powerful party in any
dispute and need the greatest protection," said Mason, pointing out that
children get far better representation in U.S. criminal courts than in family
courts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mason believes the wishes
of mature children over the age of 13 should prevail in a custody dispute,
unless they are at risk of being harmed by their choices.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In addition, she calls for
regular reviews of custody arrangements to adapt to the changing needs of
children as they grow. And, she urgently endorses a return to the policy of
favoring a primary parent, during the tender years.<o:p></o:p></div>
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"The fundamental
concept of attachment, introduced after World War II by John Bowlby has
withstood a new generation of researchers," said Mason. "For
children under six, it can be very destructive to disrupt their bond with a
primary parent."<o:p></o:p></div>
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"There must be a place
where children are heard and their changing needs are addressed," she
said, "a place where judges are educated in child development; a place
where the rule of law, while flexible, truly promotes the best interests of
the child rather than catering to gender politics."<o:p></o:p></div>
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Added Mason, "Children
are not property to be exchanged."<o:p></o:p><br />
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-51151390491861328522013-01-09T09:27:00.000-05:002013-01-09T09:35:07.004-05:00Women Who Make the World WorseWell here's another old post I found while looking for something else. I had totally forgotten about it but I think readers might find it interesting...<br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="113920062025313725"></a><b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">KATE O'BEIRNE AND WOMEN
WHO MAKE THE WORLD WORSE</span></b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br />
<br />
I was recently privileged to listen to Kate O’Beirne being interviewed on
C-SPAN’s Booknotes for her recent work <i>Women who make the World Worse</i> and
I must admit I was impressed with her. She answered all the questions put to
her by the interviewer and was able to make a logical and coherent case for all
of her views.<br />
<br />
That’s pretty rare today.<br />
<br />
She covered pretty much everything with one notable exception (which I will
mention later) from single motherhood up to and including women in frontline
combat in the military. She’s opposed to both, of course.<br />
<br />
One unusual thing I found out about Kate O’Beirne’s background is that she was
educated by nuns and feels this was very instrumental in her formative years.
It’s interesting, as she mentions, how little attention is ever paid by
feminists (or anybody really) to the basic ‘outside of the box thinking’ of
nuns. They could really be seen as the first independent women of history, as
they chose not to marry and instead dedicate themselves to education and
serving their communities, long before this was a career choice for women btw.<br />
<br />
Anyway she covered everything pretty much in the same vein as I might have with
one exception which of course, is she ignored the whole issue of gender neutral
custody and never even mentions that millions of fit, loving mothers that have
lost custody of their children, many to never see them again. This is due in
large part to these crazy gender-neutralized feminists and mens/fathers rights
nuts. As those inherent differences she mentioned between men and women also
involve women in their roles as mothers, not just the whole military and sports
issues, which are minor blips on the radar to mothers compared to our children.<br />
<br />
Obviously...<br />
<br />
The current fashion today for mothers to lose custody stems from these crazy
gender-neutralized feminist's ideas. It's actually seen as progressive today to
give a father custody and ignore the mother/child bond. Even infants are at
risk here of never having any contact with their mothers again, due to these
feminazis social engineering of the court system. Kate O'Beirne admits the
truth in this with some of her strongest arguments, even citing how various
groups of gender-neutralized feminists heading professional and educational
organizations have pathologized the mother/child bond. These unprincipled.
gender-neutralized monsters have actually diagnosed a mother's attachment with
her child as a sign of mental illness. Yet, she doesn't follow her own logical
argument through to the most obvious conclusion and turns around and blames
feminists for custody wars. When it should be obvious that it is not feminists
at all who are encouraging these custody wars, as they have nothing to gain by
mothers keeping custody of their children just the opposite from their point of
view. Instead, it is ordinary women trying to keep custody of their own kids
who are fighting these battles.<br />
<br />
Mothers, properly, wish their children to be spending most of their lives with
them, not involved in all kinds of nutty custody-sharing arrangements just to
ensure fathers don’t have to pay too much child support. Feminists would LOVE
for mothers just to turn their backs on their kids and walk away for some
career. It’s ordinary mothers who aren't playing the game according to
feminists' and fathers rights nuts' demented playbook.<br />
<br />
So in this one area, I found Kate O’Beirne conclusions to be lacking...<br />
<br />
Last point.<br />
<br />
She does correctly identify men as the culprit behind the current explosion of
single mothers. Men’s fixation on casual sex with many women, which was enabled
by feminism, places many women today at an extreme disadvantage. As women
appear to be still using the age-old strategy of sex as a way to build a
relationship, with a pregnancy expected to close the deal via a marriage
proposal. Unfortunately it’s not working that way anymore and the result is
millions of women being left high and dry with a pregnancy that does not result
in a marriage. Thus either an abortion or single motherhood follows.<br />
<br />
Feminism appears to have lost women all their bargaining power in our society
vis-à-vis male/female relationships. By convincing many young women that casual
sex will ‘empower’ them, it has led to women who don’t buy into the ‘casual sex
as empowerment’ party line to be operating from a strategic disadvantage on the
dating scene. We even see this in the current proliferation of teenage girls
giving oral sex to boys in school. These girls are obviously attempting to date
boys in a climate where to refuse to have sex probably means a lot of Friday
nights at home ALONE watching tv. This is the compromise they have come up with
obviously, not having sex but some lesser version of it.<br />
<br />
However, Kate O’Beirne seems to miss the point that this is not in the power of
women, by ourselves, to change this situation so easily. For instance, her glib
answer to what a disempowered single mother ought to do, for instance, “find a
husband” doesn’t seem to realistically address the reality for most young women
today who wish to be married and have families. Unfortunately men have changed
their behavior, not women, so men are the ones who need to take the initiative
in this area. Thus, she sidestepped this important social change that has left
women scrambling along behind to pick up the pieces broken by the Hugh
Hefnerization of our society.<br />
<br />
It’s somewhat arrogant to assume that women can totally change this situation
by themselves with no sincere wish to change it by the men who are advantaged
by it. As I have often said, now that this genie is out of the bottle, most men
would be very adverse to putting the cork back in and foregoing the casual sex
on demand that is so common today. Anyway, I don't see it just happening
because some group of women would like it to, that's for sure.<br />
<br />
I mean there is a certain level of attention that a young girl receives for a
good number of years as she acts out around men like a tramp or skank as they
call it today. AND for many girls this appears to be enough. Thus, ordinary
women have this as their competition as they continue trying to build a stable
relationship during the years when young men appear more interested in casual
sex, then making a serious commitment. BTW, I'm not talking about the
competition as being prostitutes. Heck, prostitutes hate these skanks as much
as ordinary women do, since they haven't been able to raise their prices since
the 70s as so many of these skanks are giving it away for free over the last
few decades.<br />
<br />
So I think Kate O'Beirne is a little more optimistic then is warranted on the
power of women to just turn this around now.<br />
<br />
Other than this misreading of the casual sex business and the total ignoring of
the custody issue for mothers, however, the interview was good, very
thought-provoking. Thus, I look forward to more writing from Kate O'Beirne.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #211104; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">posted
by NYMOM | <a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/02/kate-obeirne-and-women-who-make-world.html" title="permanent link"><span style="color: #716e6c;">Sunday, February 05, 2006</span></a> </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8740475&postID=113920062025313725&from=pencil" title=""Edit Post" "><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #716e6c; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><span style="mso-ignore: vglayout;"><img alt="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" border="0" height="23" src="file:///C:\Users\mat51\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image002.png" width="23" /></span></span></a><span style="color: #211104; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="comments"></a><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4
Comments:</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c114184507027091634"></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;"><img alt="Blogger" border="0" height="20" src="file:///C:\Users\mat51\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image004.png" width="20" /></span></b><b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/04119915465397785960"><span style="color: #716e6c;">Sir Jessy of Anti</span></a> said...</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Mothers, properly,
wish their children to be spending most of their lives with them, not involved
in all kinds of nutty custody-sharing arrangements just to ensure fathers don’t
have to pay too much child support"<br />
<br />
So the only reason fathers want custody is so they can avoid CS? You really
have a demented opinion of men Maggie.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/02/kate-obeirne-and-women-who-make-world.html#c114184507027091634" title="comment permalink"><span style="color: #716e6c;">2:11 PM</span></a> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=114184507027091634" title="Delete Comment"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #716e6c; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></a></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c114186278091230637"></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;"><img alt="Blogger" border="0" height="20" src="file:///C:\Users\mat51\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image004.png" width="20" /></span></b><b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749"><span style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</span></a> said...</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As you have a demented
opinion of women...</span></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 7.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/02/kate-obeirne-and-women-who-make-world.html#c114186278091230637" title="comment permalink"><span style="color: #716e6c;">7:06 PM</span></a> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=114186278091230637" title="Delete Comment"><span style="border: none windowtext 1.0pt; color: #716e6c; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in;"> </span></a></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c114253216723396363"></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;"><img alt="Anonymous" border="0" height="20" src="file:///C:\Users\mat51\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image006.png" width="20" /></span></b><b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> ginmar said...</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">NyMOM you are about as
wrong as you can be about why fathers get custody. Fathers get custody because
they have more money, more privilege, and face a court system made up of men.<br />
<br />
O'Beirne herself uses the same crap all these feminist bashers use: statistics,
anecdotes, biased sources and so forth. Frankly, if you're this off base, I'd
rather you stop commenting on my blog.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c114253567062728928"></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-no-proof: yes;"><img alt="Blogger" border="0" height="20" src="file:///C:\Users\mat51\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image004.png" width="20" /></span></b><b><span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749"><span style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</span></a> said...</span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #29303b; font-family: "Georgia","serif"; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Well I wasn't going to
comment for long.<br />
<br />
As you know I'm not a feminist and we disagree on just about everything
anyway...<br />
<br />
I just commented due to the ONE issue we agreed on...but I'm fine with not
going back...<br />
<br />
However to your point of the court system being made up of men and thinking
that's why so many mothers lose custody...on that issue you are mistaken. The
court system is mostly made up of men at the upper levels, but the officers of
the courts: lawyers, law guardians, evaluators, etc., many of THEM are
women...and Judges make their ruling 90% of the time mirroring an Evaluator's
recommendations, as few Judges have the time to research a custody case
themselves.<br />
<br />
AND even when we do get a female Judge, they are MORE vicious to mothers then a
man could ever be...Look at that Arlene Goldberg with the Bridget Marks case,
even OJ Simpson in California got custody of his kids from a female Judge...<br />
<br />
Sorry.<br />
<br />
I too initially wanted to believe that men were the source of these unfair
custody rulings. Actually, I did believe it for a long time; until I actually
got involved with the issue and spoke to many non-custodial mothers and guess
what, it's not the fault of men that mothers lose custody...it's frequently the
fault of other women.<br />
<br />
Many of these mothers became non-custodial due to a vicious feminist Evaluator
or GAL handing in a recommendation to a Judge who them ruled against them based
upon it...<br />
<br />
Sorry...<br />
<br />
I didn't want to believe it either as it was soooo much easier for me to just
blame men...<br />
<br />
Easy, but not correct.<br />
<br />
But I won't post on your blog again...<br />
<br />
Good luck in your life anyway.</span></div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-47063101842188086852013-01-04T09:45:00.001-05:002013-01-04T10:03:17.500-05:00Shortcuts lead to a messy outcome in these situations<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">I don't see this as evidence of any bias against lesbians but just the usual hunt for someone to pay child support when a parent attempts to collect benefits for their children from the state...</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">The only way to protect yourself and your children in these situations is to use a licensed physician who provides the anonymous donor sperm from a sperm bank.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">Now these women have put their children in a bad situation as well, since this man or any of his family members, grandparents, sister, etc., can now turn right around and file a custody case against them.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12px;">You cannot take short cuts with these issues as you leave both yourself and your children open to years of litigation and stress in a long drawn-out custody war...</span></span><br />
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<b><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 24pt;">Mother lied about knowing sperm donor, agency says in demanding donor pay<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Published January 03, 2013<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Days after a sperm donor in Kansas was ordered to pay child support for the baby he helped a lesbian couple conceive, the state agency seeking payments says one of the women may have deceived the department.</span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">In a court filing Wednesday, the Kansas Department for Children and Families questioned the validity of the sperm donor contract between William Marotta and the couple, Jennifer Schreiner and Angela Bauer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Marotta's lawyer dismissed the state's claims, calling the filing "offensive."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #183a52;"><a href="http://cjonline.com/news/2013-01-03/state-says-woman-topeka-sperm-donor-case-deceived-agency-child-support-claim" target="_blank">According to The Topeka Capital-Journal</a> </span></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">documents show Schreiner did not indicate she knew the name or any other information about the sperm donor in her application for child support.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">William Marotta told FoxNews.com earlier this week he might never have agreed to provide sperm to the couple had he known the legal morass that awaited him after responding to the women’s Craigslist ad for a donor in March 2009, and he suggested he might be a victim of bias against same-sex parenting.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">“I have a hunch part of the reason this is going this way is because of people’s feelings toward same-sex couples,” Marotta told FoxNews.com.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The 46-year-old machinist said he received notice in late October that he was being targeted by state officials to pay child support after the couple -- who parted ways in 2010 but still co-parent their eight children ranging in age from 3 months to 25 years -- were ordered by DCF officials to provide the sperm donor’s name. State officials argued that if the women did not identify the donor, the agency would deny health benefits due to withheld information.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The state seeks to have Marotta named the child's father so he can be held accountable for a $6,000 payment the state had provided in public assistance, as well as future child support payments.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The state agency claims it has several conflicting donor contracts on file -- including a copy that doesn't have dates or signatures. The contract "may be invalid on its face," the filing suggests.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">But Benoit Swinnen, an attorney for Marotta, said to <a href="http://cjonline.com/news/2013-01-03/state-says-woman-topeka-sperm-donor-case-deceived-agency-child-support-claim" target="_blank"><span style="color: #183a52; text-decoration: initial;">The Tokepa Capital-Journal</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><img alt="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/v/all/img/external-link.png" border="0" height="9" src="file:///C:/Users/mat51/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_2" width="19" /></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"> on Thursday, "the insinuation is offensive, and we are responding vigorously to that. We stand by our story."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Swinnen said his client had never had a personal relationship with the couple.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The court filing argues the sperm donor contract overlooks a "well-established law in this state that a person cannot contract away his or her obligations to support their child," adding that the right for support doesn't belong to the parents, but rather to the child. And only when semen is provided to a licensed physician does a donor have protection from a paternity test.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Schreiner answered a question about who the father is with "no idea -- sperm donor" on an application for child support dated Jan. 5, 2012, <a href="http://cjonline.com/news/2013-01-03/state-says-woman-topeka-sperm-donor-case-deceived-agency-child-support-claim" target="_blank"><span style="color: #183a52; text-decoration: initial;">The Topeka Capital-Journal notes</span></a></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><img alt="http://global.fncstatic.com/static/v/all/img/external-link.png" border="0" height="9" src="file:///C:/Users/mat51/AppData/Local/Temp/msohtmlclip1/01/clip_image002.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_3" width="19" /></span><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The filing called the applications "very troubling because [Schreiner] clearly deceived DCF on her first application. She knew the name of the respondent because of the purported 'sperm donor contract.'" Adding that it is "implausible to think" Marotta didn't know a licensed physician wasn't performing the procedure when he took the sperm to the couple's house.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Bauer, 40, and Schreiner, 34, had been together for eight years and previously adopted other children when Marotta responded to their ad and later provided sperm used to artificially inseminate Schreiner.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Marotta's attorney said the DCF’s filing failed to address what he identified as gaps in its original petition case -- asking for DNA testing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">A hearing on the matter is expected to be held next week.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Fox News' Joshua Rhett Miller and the Associated Press contributed to this report.</span></i><span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01/03/women-in-kansas-sperm-donor-case-lied-about-child-support-claim-agency-says/?test=latestnews#ixzz2H19l1M52"><span style="color: #003399; text-decoration: initial;">http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/01/03/women-in-kansas-sperm-donor-case-lied-about-child-support-claim-agency-says/?test=latestnews#ixzz2H19l1M52</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-47398699706784238822012-11-09T13:04:00.000-05:002012-11-09T13:10:59.809-05:00Gender Role Reversal - Not<br />
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Well I just came across this article linked to Fox News and I have to say I agree somewhat with it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 25.5pt;">I don't agree that there has been a complete gender role reversal with men needing to marry in order to sustain even the most meager standard of living, which was the situation women actually faced in the past. Men, unlike women in history, are not blocked from every economic opportunity except marriage. Now just because more women then men are completing college doesn't automatically translate into a complete gender role reversal where men cannot support themselves adequately outside of marriage.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 25.5pt;">That's a vast exaggeration. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 25.5pt;">But I do believe that men acting like asses have forced women under 30 into having more children out of wedlock as women simply cannot wait as long as men to exercise their options if they wish to have children. To be blunt if women wait for men to make up their minds about marriage their eggs would be hard-boiled. This is also why we are seeing all these weird methods the over-thirty women have to use lately to have children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 25.5pt;">In addition this is the origin of our so-called 'custody wars' which previously few men engaged in as few children had any assets to fight over, so men were content to let mothers have de-facto custody of children. Now high child support awards (enforced by federal guidelines) and access to a women's income for the minority of her children has turned custody into another asset to be won. So as in the past, if men want something and can't get it any other way, they turn to war...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">This is what these custody wars are all about. Men attempting to gain rights for themselves that neither God or nature had ever seen fit to grant them. So they have grasped them through the courts and hold both women and children hostage through these illegitimate mechanisms...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">So, like I said, I do agree somewhat in the article's premise; however, the author did not dig deep enough to explain the issues we are facing and why. They should have worked harder to connect the dots.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #05589d; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: x-small; line-height: 25.5pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: #05589d; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 25.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-font-kerning: 18.0pt;">Do Women Need Marriage Anymore?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><script></script>The New York Times article, “<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/18/us/for-women-under-30-most-births-occur-outside-marriage.html?_r=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha2"><span style="color: #409000; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">For Women Under
30, Most Births Occur Outside of Marriage</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #409000; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-no-proof: yes; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape id="Picture_x0020_5"
o:spid="_x0000_i1028" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="External Site"
href="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/18/us/for-women-under-30-most-births-occur-outside-marriage.html?_r=1&nl=todaysheadlines&emc=tha2"
style='width:6.6pt;height:6.6pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'
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really got us thinking about motherhood, money, and marriage. The story
addresses the changing face of family in the U.S., and how illegitimacy no
longer has the same stigma for young unmarried mothers—in fact, it is the new
norm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">And while 59% of all women who give birth in
the U.S. are married, it is the generation of young mothers under 30 who have
tipped the scales the other way—with the biggest jump among white women in
their 20’s. So, why are so many young women choosing NOT to walk down the
aisle? Is it possible that men are phasing themselves out of their role in
society and don’t even know it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN" style="color: #05589d; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What’s
Love Got to Do with It?<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">In the <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200505/marriage-history"><span style="color: #409000; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">tradition of
marriage</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #409000; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-no-proof: yes; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape
id="Picture_x0020_6" o:spid="_x0000_i1027" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="External Site"
href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200505/marriage-history"
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the notion that you marry for love is relatively new. In fact, it was not until
the 1920’s that dating became a popular trend. Historically, marriage was a
simple economic union between families. It was our human need to ensure our
survival and better our position in society. And while most of us today shudder
at the thought of living in a loveless marriage, the economic need for a woman
to wed has typically outweighed that of men—that is, until now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-outline-level: 3;">
<b><span lang="EN" style="color: #05589d; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Gender
Role Reversal<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">According to a <a href="http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1466/economics-marriage-rise-of-wives-%20New%20Economics%20of%20Marriage"><span style="color: #409000; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Pew Research
Center study</span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #409000; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-no-proof: yes; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><!--[if gte vml 1]><v:shape
id="Picture_x0020_7" o:spid="_x0000_i1026" type="#_x0000_t75" alt="External Site"
href="http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1466/economics-marriage-rise-of-wives-%20New%20Economics%20of%20Marriage"
style='width:6.6pt;height:6.6pt;visibility:visible;mso-wrap-style:square'
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</v:shape><![endif]--><!--[if !vml]--><img alt="External Site" border="0" height="11" src="file:///C:\Users\mat51\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image009.png" v:shapes="Picture_x0020_7" width="11" /><!--[endif]--></span></a>,
between 1970 and 2007 the education and income levels of married men and women
have completely flip flopped. Until the last couple of decades, more men
completed college and were the sole bread winners of the household. But today,
the tables have turned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The 2009 Labor Census showed that when the
recession hit in 2008, 75% of the decline in unemployment was among men of
prime working age, while the growth rate of women in the workforce actually
increased. Plus, there are more women today graduating from college than men,
and the dual income household is commonplace—with many women making more than
their husbands. All of these changing factors have greatly increased the man’s
economic need to marry while decreasing the financial motive for women.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today’s woman is no longer
faced with the inevitability of relying on a man for income.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span lang="EN" style="color: #05589d; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Education
and Marriage<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">That said, according to the studies,
education—therefore income level—and marriage go hand in hand. The Times
article and the Pew Research Center state that college graduates still
“overwhelmingly marry before having children, turning family structure into a
new class divide.” According to University of Pennsylvania sociologist Frank
Furstenberg, “Marriage has become a luxury good.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Adding to the divide is the finding that
educated men have been quicker than their blue-collar peers to give women equal
authority and play the partner role. Therefore, the trend suggests that many young,
lower income women are finding themselves having children with men who not only
cannot provide financially for their family, they are not providing other
partnership benefits that would make a formal union beneficial, such as taking
on the non-traditional role of stay at home dad.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; margin-bottom: 3.75pt; mso-outline-level: 3;">
<b><span lang="EN" style="color: #05589d; font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
New Economics of Marriage<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Today’s woman is no longer faced with the
inevitability of relying on a man for income. So when faced with the prospect
of a shotgun wedding, it’s not surprising a new generation of young mothers are
asking: what’s in it for us? And even though statistics show that children born
outside of marriage are at greater risk to fall into poverty, fail in school,
or suffer emotional and behavioral problems, many women will try living with
their “baby daddy”, but refuse to marry him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">For lower income parents, when it comes to
qualifying for government aid, sometimes it’s simply more economical to stay
single. But it’s not always the motivating factor. Many of these working
mothers have no interest in struggling to financially support their out-of-work
boyfriends. In fact, they’d rather keep their independence than risk a failed
marriage in the long run.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 13.5pt; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto;">
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">The question remains, what do the men think
of all of this? If the traditional role of the man in the family structure is
changing, what will his new role be?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 9pt;">Disclosures:
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-89843825263159317852012-10-24T12:52:00.004-04:002012-10-24T12:54:06.189-04:00 Courts Continue Usurping Mothers Natural Rights<br />
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I thought it might be time to re-post this again since the case against Howard K. Stern's was recently in the news again. As is often the case, it was too late to help Anna Nicole Smith's grandmother get her son and grandson bodies returned to the US where they rightly belonged; but, as they always say in these situations, it might help the next person...</h3>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Courts Continue Usurping Mothers Natural Rights</span></h3>
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One of the most errie aspects about this whole custody of Anna Nicole Smith’s body is how closely it mirrored the Teri Schiavo case in showing us the working of the courts and how they establish legal rights of guardianship over those who can’t speak for themselves. If you recall Teri Schiavo was the young Florida wife, who was in a coma (cause unknown). Her husband, Michael Schiavo, was also the one legally empowered to make medical decisions regarding her care. Similarly to the Howard K. Stern/Anna Nicole Smith situation (over the custody of her body), Michael Schiavo too was in an ongoing fight with Teri Schiavo’s parents about whether or not to disconnect the food/water tubes keeping her body alive.<br />
<br />
Over the last few weeks, I actually felt like I was reliving the trauma of the Schiavo case all over again. I happened to be sick at home during the beginning of the Anna Nicole Smith court fight and was furious watching that Judge totally disregarding Anna Nicole Smith’s mother while setting up a legal scenario designed to favor Howard K. Stern. Clearly assigning a guardian to represent the so-called ‘best interest of the child’ favored the man who had helped abduct that child in the first place and was currently fraudulently named on her birth certificate as her ‘father’ so he already had defacto legal custody of the child in question.<br />
<br />
It was a foregone conclusion from the moment the guardian was named that any so-called guardian 'for the child' would have to name the child's current defacto custodial parent as the person with the right to claim her mother's body. Logic demanded it, unless the birth certificate could be found to be fraudalent before the right to claim the mother's remains was decided. Since this was not likely to happen, the whole hearing was a setup from the moment the statue was disregarded and a child UNDER the age of 18 was designated as next of kin. The whole thing was just a bunch of legal mumbo jumbo designed to empower the men involved and ignore Virgie Arthur's more powerful legal and as well as natural claim to her daughter's remains.<br />
<br />
So basically Howard K. Stern was rewarded for perpetuatng a fraud. This entire legal situation was instigated by said fraud to ensure a baby was born outside of US jurisdiction. It has been a so far successful attempt to deny that child’s father any contact with his child, deny the child her American citizenship, as well as any connection with either side of her extended US family. Anna Nicole Smith was replicating the same scenario that she had gotten away with ten years earlier, alienating her son from his grandmother, Virgie Arthur, who raised him for the first five years of his life. Now Anna Nicole Smith was pulling the same stunt with her daughter and I was just sick watching this Judge rewarding an active participant in this fraud, Howard K. Stern.<br />
<br />
Now to return to the Schiavo case: I was ready to fly down to Florida during that situation, that’s how upset I was by the whole thing. But was turned off by the hoards of religious fanatics who had taken over the argument. Anyway, even though our President himself claimed he was supportive of Teri Schiavo’s parents being named as her guardians, yet we were told the law was strictly defined vis-à-vis designation of a guardian in Florida, first a spouse, then a child OVER 18, THEN parents.<br />
<br />
That was it.<br />
<br />
The republic itself was at stake to listen to the media drone on about it. The President himself couldn’t change this, as it was unconstitutional for him to try to overrule a sovereign state’s laws. The President’s brother, Jeb Bush, Governor of Florida, supposedly was planning on having his own police detail drive in with an ambulance and just remove Teri Schiavo from the home she was in, yet the county the home was located in found out about it and threatened a confrontation involving the state police if he tried it, so he backed down. The Supreme Court held a special session, yet they too turned down Teri Schiavo’s parents as there was absolutely no way around the Florida statues. NONE.<br />
<br />
Even though Michael Schiavo was living as man and wife with another woman for almost ten years, he even had two children with her. Clearly he was no longer in a position to act in the best interest of a ‘wife’ lying in a coma. Yet the Florida statues were so clear, that her parents had to stand by helplessly as their daughter was starved to death. There was nothing anyone could do. Not to mention Michael Schiavo’s final spite filled act of cremating Teri Schiavo’s body and then not letting her parents even know where she was going to be buried, so they couldn’t attend her funeral. Actually I was kind of relieved he did this as it justify me hating the guy. Since this final venomous curtain call in the Teri Schiavo drama said more about him then anything else that had happened up to that point and ensured his place in the history books when this case is written about and guess what: it won’t be a good one.<br />
<br />
Anyway until last week I think most of us believed that the Florida statues were written in stone. Guardianship statues were tamper proof, no deviations, no wiggle room, no interpretation allowed. Okay. Fine. Thus I fully expected to see Howard K. Stern, leaving the courthouse with his tail between his legs, as Anna Nicole Smith’s mother reclaimed her daughter, probably shortly followed by her grandson being removed from the Bahamas (where he had previously spent ONE NIGHT before dying there) and being reburied right next to his mother in the country of their birth. As Stern was not ever married to Anna Nicole Smith. It’s even doubtful if he was ever really her boyfriend or just a stand in to help commit paternity fraud. Thus he was entitled to no standing under Florida’s presumably very strict statues.<br />
<br />
Yet much to my shock it appeared Florida statues are not written in stone. As the Judge in the case decided to overlook the strong possibility that Howard K. Stern engaged in fraud to get himself named on this child’s birth certificate. Or that he might have strong financial motivations (as in Marshall estate ruling) to wish to remain as a guardian, utilizing a baby, to manage the Anna Nicole Smith’s estate.<br />
<br />
Although Howard K. Stern was shown to have leeched off Anna Nicole Smith for years, he was quickly given the moral equivalence pass, since, Virgie Arthur, Anna’s mother was found to have gotten a plane ticket to the Bahamas paid for by a magazine publisher. Excuse me but how in the heck do people think this woman, a retired grandmother, is able to finance an ongoing court battle going on between Florida and the Bahamas? Unlike Stern, who is making millions by selling exclusive rights to Entertainment Tonight for interviews or Larry Birkhead, whose parents are footing the bill for his stupidity in getting involved with this situation, Grandma Arthur has to pay for everything herself. She’s probably draining her retirement account just to pay the lawyers. AND just like most other grandmothers, she is concerned about her grand daugher being the pawn of a bunch of leeches determined to get custody of this kid so they can keep milking the situation, just as they did when her mother was alive. Grandma Arthur couldn’t do anything at that time, but she can and should act now. After all she’s already lost one grandkid to this bunch, I can see her being concerned about losing another.<br />
<br />
There is something very disheartening about the level of jealousy within people today, who simply refuse to admit that a mother’s bond with her children is more powerful then other social bonds and don’t want to accept the possibility that Virgie Arthur is doing this out of love for her daughter and concern for her grandchild. Or that a daughter like Anna Nicole Smith: total screwup, drug addict, spite filled alienator who refused to even visit her mother for ten years, money-grubbing conniver who used men for money, could still have a mother out there who loved her and worried about her children. Yes, believe it or not this happens everyday. The most horrible adults in the world still have a mother who loves them, even if that love is not returned. Everyone keeps pointing out that video where Anne Nicole Smith appears to hate her mother. Well guess what: it doesn’t matter, as it tells us nothing about how her mother felt about her.<br />
<br />
Anyway this new interpretation of Florida’s guardianship statues appeared to be fine with the media and the courts, since any statue that can usurp a mothers’ natural rights to her children, even when they are dead, appears to fit the bill here. This latest ruling pretty much ignoring the past precedence set was just another obvious spit in the eye to biological parenthood and let’s be clear about this: everytime it happens it’s an attack on mothers. As mothers are the only ones who have our rights designated through natural law due to our more meaningful biological link to children. It is men who need the cover of the courts to give them any legitimate claim. So each and every attack favoring legal over biological connections is an insidious attempt to undermine women in their role as mothers. To place any and all relationships over and above the mother/child one and to once again place man, any man at the center of all things in a women’s life, be he husband, boyfriend, your attorney, whatever. Sadly men do not seem to be able to deal with not being featured with star billing in every show.</div>
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posted by NYMOM | <a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html" style="color: #716e6c;" title="permanent link">Sunday, March 04, 2007</a></div>
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6 Comments:</h4>
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<dt class="comment-poster" id="c2669945694579761998" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c2669945694579761998"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/03152215204773184788" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">Val</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Ugh, "thanks" for resuscitating those grim memories! I, too, was fascinated & repelled by the Schiavo case: why the hell didn't Michael just DIVORCE Terri, entrusting her care to her parents, & get on w/his life?!? (don't tell me it's all about the money, stupid, even though that's true)<br />
His vengeful behavior towards the Schindlers hit too many painful resonant chords w/me; but for that I need to go type my own post, verdad?</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c2669945694579761998" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:13 PM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7294758084640808068" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7294758084640808068"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
I think he was afraid that he could get charged for Teri Schiavo's medical expenses anyway, as next of kin. Kind of like if a father gives custody of a child's to a person's grandmother (like they generally did in the old days) he could be hit up for child support.<br />
<br />
Child support has substantially changed the behavior of men.<br />
<br />
Plus there was spite involved.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c7294758084640808068" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">12:54 AM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7335513832853871567" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7335513832853871567"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/03152215204773184788" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">Val</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Yeah buddy -- "spite involved", absolutely!<br />
But speaking of child support, I'd like to solicit your opinion about my own situation -- if you could email me, it's endurovet@hotmail.com<br />
Thanks!</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c7335513832853871567" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">11:56 AM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8126262906315082957" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8126262906315082957"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">silverside</span> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
And you don't think moms pay child support? I'm tired of hearing that this is some situation unique to dads. Moms pay it too, typically on incomes that are less than what men make. So kwicherbichin.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c8126262906315082957" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">7:59 PM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8526268003067421506" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8526268003067421506"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Moms pay it too. But there's a lot of evidence that they pay less then men even allowing for differences in income. Many Judges appear to be more willing to accept diviations from guidelines when mothers request it versus when fathers do.<br />
<br />
I attribute this to most Judges seeing the greed behind many of the men litigating for custody. Many do it for either reasons of spite or in order to get out of paying child support. So this is like an informal nod to mothers...to keep us shut..<br />
<br />
After all, it's bad enough that some greedy and unprincipled monster was allowed to steal your child, now you're expected to pay him money for the privilege???<br />
<br />
It's totally outrageous.<br />
<br />
So with this one complaint I think men are right, not that I give a damn...</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c8526268003067421506" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">12:19 AM</a></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c6197136797613327264" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c6197136797613327264"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Based on my own life experience, I do not believe she dies of an accidental drug over dose, nor suicide!</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2007/03/courts-continue-usurping-mothers.html#c6197136797613327264" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:41 PM</a></dd></dl>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-90344350643270328992012-08-13T09:51:00.002-04:002015-03-24T12:27:39.433-04:00Sad but true how people will allow themselves to be fooled<br />
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I love how people, in spite of all evidence to the contrary, continue to believe that we are seeing some sort of Renaissance in these parts of the world that practice discrimination against women and infanticide...<br />
<br />
Sad, that they can't face the truth...<br />
<br />
I posted this in 2006 and the West has been doing nothing for the last few years but putting out fires in these places using our own military as a sort-of super police force in both Asia and North Africa...<br />
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Yet there are still those who believe that these societies are functioning examples for the West to follow...<br />
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Unbelievable...<br />
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SATURDAY, JULY 15, 2006</h2>
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Too Little, Too Late to Save These Societies from Retribution for their Crimes Against Their Sisters</h3>
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After observing the events in the mid-east and throughout Asia this week, I think it is a good time to repost this particular blog entry, less we forget the ultimate consequences of fooling around with nature's grand design. In every species, including our own, (until recently) females have always made up the bulk of the population. For anyone with any common sense whatsoever, it's pretty obvious why. Too many males = too many alphas: too much infighting within the species over territory, access to females, resources; too many dominance displays leading to death and injury, etc.,<br />
<br />
When we attempt to play God, we ultimately only fool ourselves. Forgetting that we are JUST another group of living beings on the planet earth, more intelligent perhaps, but at the end of the day just another link in the evolutionary chain.<br />
<br />
We forget the essence of humanity at our peril. We are not Gods but just another species of living beings on the planet.<br />
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<br />
<strong>India Sex Selection Doctor Jailed </strong><br />
<br />
A doctor in India and his assistant have been sentenced to two years in jail for revealing the sex of a female foetus and then agreeing to abort it.<br />
<br />
This is the first time medical professionals have been jailed in such a case.<br />
<br />
Under Indian laws, ultrasound tests on a pregnant woman to determine the gender of the foetus are illegal.<br />
<br />
It has been estimated that 10m female foetuses may have been terminated in India in the past 20 years.<br />
<br />
Dr Anil Sabhani and Kartar Singh were caught in a sting operation in the northern state of Haryana.<br />
<br />
Government officials sent in three pregnant women as decoy patients to find out if the clinic would carry out abortions based on sex selection.<br />
<br />
Audio and video evidence showed the doctor telling one woman that tests had revealed that she was carrying a "female foetus and it would be taken care of".<br />
<br />
A cultural preference for sons over daughters has skewed India's sex ratio.<br />
<br />
But convictions are rare due to lax and corrupt officials and the slow judicial system.<br />
<br />
The government brought in laws 12 years ago to stop the practice of aborting female foetuses.<br />
<br />
<em>Social evil </em><br />
<br />
The president of the Indian Medical Association (IMA), a grouping of doctors, Dr Vinay Agarwal said the convictions were "historical".<br />
<br />
"The medical profession is doing all it can though we have to address this as a social evil. People should be proud to have a girl child," he said.<br />
<br />
The northern states of Punjab and Haryana have some of the worst gender ratios in India.<br />
<br />
There are about 861 women for every 1,000 men in Haryana, according to the census. The national average is 927 women to 1,000 men.<br />
<br />
The national average has gone down from 972 in 1901 to just 933 in 2001, according to reports.<br />
<br />
Earlier this year researchers in India and Canada said in the Lancet journal that prenatal selection and selective abortion was causing the loss of 500,000 girl births a year.<br />
<br />
If this is true, 10m female births may have been lost in India over the past two decades.<br />
<br />
Indian doctors, however, disputed the report saying pre-birth gender checks had waned since a Supreme Court crackdown in 2001.<br />
<br />
<em>Tradition </em><br />
<br />
Leading campaigners say many of India's fertility clinics continue to offer a seemingly legitimate facade for a multi-billion pound racket and that gender determination is still big business in India.<br />
<br />
Experts in India say female foeticide is mostly linked to socio-economic factors.<br />
<br />
It is an idea that many say carries over from the time India was a predominantly agrarian society where boys were considered an extra pair of hands on the farm.<br />
<br />
The girl child has traditionally been considered inferior and a liability - a bride's dowry can cripple a poor family financially.<br />
<br />
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/4855682.stm<br />
<br />
<br />
This is good of course, but far too little, far too late.<br />
<br />
Yes doctors and other medical personnel involved should be arrested. But the technology must be removed as well. As quite frankly that region of the world has demonstrated by their behavior, that they are not fully mature enough as societies to have free access to all technology since they behaved irrresponsibly with sonogram machines. They used them for sex selection MILLIONS OF TIMES and thus, created an inbalance of millions of men in their societies.<br />
<br />
Thus a refusal to sell them sonogram machines or parts to repair the ones they currrently have as they break must be instituted. This boycott should include other technology as well, including military as if they couldn’t handle a sonogram machine, they can’t handle any military technology either, especially nuclear.<br />
<br />
That’s for sure.<br />
<br />
The other issue is I wish they would stop pointing to the dowry as being implicated in this, as the dowry tradition has NOTHING to do with this.<br />
<br />
Nothing.<br />
<br />
It’s a complete red herring, strawman, whatever…<br />
<br />
As we in the west have the same dowry tradition and have more women then men in our society. Actually the dowry tradition here has morphed into women, if they wish a big wedding, to pay for most of it themselves and with the cost of a wedding today, well basically you are spending your dowry on the wedding with flowers, dress, reception, honeymoon, etc., It has NOT turned into parents trying to murder girl babies in order not to help them pay for their wedding. The whole assertion is ridiculous and just another attempt by men (in Asia this time, although our men do the same at every opportunity) to shift the blame from something they did themselves and try to put it on historical forces, over which they supposedly have no control.<br />
<br />
Total and complete baloney.<br />
<br />
Additionally China, which has NO dowry tradition (they have a bride price to be paid when they get married) is in the exact same situation as India. Actually I just had a dicussion a while back with a good friend of mine from China. She’s been here about ten years and was very excited, as she has a son and just found out that here the bride’s family pays for the wedding.<br />
<br />
I didn’t have the heart to tell her with so many women marrying so late, that most of the women I know (myself included) pay for the wedding themselves AND frequently ask for some rather LARGE contribution from the groom and/or his family.<br />
<br />
Oh well.<br />
<br />
Anyway, both countries India and China (with two totally different traditions) have condemned themselves to years of social chaos by messing around with mother nature and causing an inbalance of men in their society. It’s not any tradition of either place that has done this, but the selfishness of modern-day men.<br />
<br />
Well, what else is new.<br />
<br />
Just reading “Bare Branches” by Valerie Hudson demonstrates how most of Asia shot themselves in the proverbial foot and now will be facing decades of civil unrest, high crime rates, wars, etc., Actually it’s no coincidence that many recruits for terrorism come from societies that have also done the same thing as <strong>India </strong>and <strong>China</strong>, places such as <strong>Pakistan</strong> and <strong>Saudi Arabia</strong>. Perverting all of the technology western civilization sold them to monitor the health of mothers and using it to abort girl babies. Now the resulting overflow of young men with no wives around to divert them into family life are fertile ground to be recruited into every quirky movement from Al Queda to Prestor John’s ultra-religious revival.<br />
<br />
One only has to look at the most recent TV newsfeeds featuring all of these surplus men in Asia created when they murdered their sisters, as they span the continent from the Gaza Strip right through to North Korea, chanting like idiots or marching in goose step to their doom. Asia is finally reaping the bloody harvest from the decades they continued spitting in the face of mother nature and now her terrible retribution has begun. The chaos this continent is descending into this week is just the beginning of their final agony.<br />
<br />
Anyway, these regions are going to be living with their decisions now for the next couple of decades, maybe centuries. I just know one thing, they better not be trying to export the problems they have created to the west either…<br />
<br />
<strong>The important thing for those of us in the west to remember is NOT to allow this part of the world to drag the rest of us down with them. They have brought this punishment on themselves THROUGH THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL ACTIONS and must bear the brunt of it ALONE as well.<br /><br />We have no idea where this will end, but we need to step back and let justice take it's hard but fair course without interference.</strong></div>
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posted by NYMOM | <a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html" style="color: #716e6c;" title="permanent link">Saturday, July 15, 2006</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115302299036774777&from=pencil" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Edit Post"><img alt="" class="icon-action" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif" height="18" style="border: 0px none; margin: 0px 0px -5px 0.5em !important;" width="18" /></a></span></div>
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<dt class="comment-poster" id="c115474495615665821" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c115474495615665821"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.kittennews.com/" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">Maximus</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Hello nymom,<br />
<br />
Look, I don't want to rattle your tree or anything, but there's some pretty big mis-assumptions in this post of yours.<br />
<br />
Some of these things I shall reveal, you may find shocking - so hang-on to your chair Grandma.<br />
<br />
But first let me agree with your opinion that jiggering the male/female population to reduce female numbers is not beneficial for men. Indeed it should be the other way around. Indeed, populations need to have the female numbers increased two, three, or even four fold. This way each man can have several women to work for him and to bear his children. He of course could live a life of leisure whilst his women folk toiled and pleasured him. This is of course as it should be as you correctly point out.<br />
<br />
However, here are the things that are likely to concern you some.<br />
<br />
Shock No 1 - We don't need to sell India sonogram machines, nor parts to repair them. You see, having all those men around in India has lead to a technological boom there. The men in India have no problem whatsoever in making their own high tech machines and in fact, they even sell them to us here in the west.<br />
<br />
Shock No 2 - We don't have to sell them sharp end weapons either. They make their own. And don't you go thinking that they can't create and manufacture their own nuclear bombs. India has had their own indigenous nuclear industries, including weapons (and the missiles to deliver them) for at least the last two decades. Yep, that's right - India is a nuclear power. In fact both India and China both have highly developed massive armies with very pointy-end technologies and if combined they could easily match and challenge us here the west.<br />
<br />
They don't need our technology. They've got lots of creative and inventive clever MEN who invent and create things - like the west used to have before feminism castrated its male population.<br />
<br />
Shock No 3 - India and China are very unlikely to experience "years of social chaos" as you suggest, in the future. Why? Well simply this...<br />
<br />
Both India and China are absolutely exploding with technological and futuristic developments, the likes of which the US and the west has failed to achieve because of stuffing around with feminism and dumbing down boys at school, etc. Over the next few decades, India and China will emerge as the two greatest powers in the history of the planet, ever.<br />
<br />
Don't worry, I don't think they'll do us any harm. They'll be too busy selling us their nice inventions, goods and commodities and living the good life.<br />
<br />
But what about their lack of women? - I hear you say.<br />
<br />
Well, with all that power and money - affluence - do you really think that they're going to be womanless? Of course they will not. Western women - of which there are far too many already who can't find a man - will be clawing each other to pieces in their frantic race to attach themselves to nice rich and powerful Asian gentlemen.<br />
<br />
You see, Grandma, you really don't have a clue about what's really happening in the world today and how devastating feminist Marxism has been to the Western world.<br />
<br />
Can't happen? - you say.<br />
<br />
Start reading the news more often, dear. It already has. Have you checked the latest US balance of payments statistics lately? Guess who's in debt and guess who they owe money to.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c115474495615665821" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">10:29 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-501542011" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115474495615665821" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c115481330389658829" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c115481330389658829"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
Well let's just wait and see shall we about how much 'chaos' is generated in Asia over the next few decades by having such an inbalance of males in the population...<br />
<br />
Okay...<br />
<br />
I'm sure you've from the same group of thinkers who predicted an Islamic Renaissance as soon as we realized how much oil they had and how much wealth it would generate relative to their populations numbers...and look where that led.<br />
<br />
They used most of their oil wealth to buy weapons and fight endless wars over nothing with each other...that's when they weren't killing their girl children and plotting the destruction of both Israel and/or the west...<br />
<br />
The state of the arab countries are a microcoism of what we are going to see on a much larger scale in both India and China as this problem plays itself out over the next several decades.<br />
<br />
Read Valerie Hudson's book "Bare Branches" for some insight into this situation...</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c115481330389658829" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:28 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115481330389658829" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c115481346698728410" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c115481346698728410"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
BTW, I don't give a damn about the balance of payments statistics lately.<br />
<br />
Okay.<br />
<br />
A balance sheet does NOT change anything essential about human nature.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c115481346698728410" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:31 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=115481346698728410" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c6685845483019335649" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c6685845483019335649"></a><span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
NYMOM,<br />
<br />
i hate to interupt your man hating and the delight at the prospect of these countries full of terrible evil men suffering the fate they deserve for selecting male children over female children but a few points as well:<br />
<br />
all the suffering will not only be for men in these countries but women as well.<br />
AND it wont be limited to these countries. they are world superpowers and the chaos if it happens will spill over to other places including here. so your precious western feminists will have their utopia upset. AND<br />
<br />
these things, while morally wrong to abort female babies over male, will have it's upside. a huge worforce full of productive men instead of selfish narcissistic women draining it of resources and money will advance them even further. while we worship at the feet of women who are only concerned with what society and men can do for them, india and china will be a juggernaut of production. AND<br />
the population problems in these countries will be solved in a civilized way instead of the slow agonizing self absorbed entitlement suffering we will experience.<br />
you may not like gender selective abortions, i dont either but it will have its benefits. unlike you i don't advocate sitting back gloating while people who dont share the same views that i have suffer. you have pretense of being this wise, all knowing and compassionate human being but i think you are a sub human idealogue, no better than a nazi sympathizer.</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c6685845483019335649" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">5:53 PM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-996686700" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=6685845483019335649" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7691989661685915040" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogblog.com/scribe/list_icon.gif); background-position: 2px 0.35em; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; font-weight: bold; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7691989661685915040"></a><span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="border: 0px; display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow" style="color: #716e6c;">NYMOM</a> said...</dt>
<dd class="comment-body" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;"><div style="font-size: 13px; margin-bottom: 0.2em; padding: 0px;">
That is not what is going to happen in countries that have an inbalance of males over females...<br />
<br />
But only time will tell which one of us is right...<br />
<br />
So we'll just have to wait and see...</div>
</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px 0px 0.75em 20px;"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2006/07/too-little-too-late-to-save-these.html#c7691989661685915040" style="color: #716e6c;" title="comment permalink">9:30 AM</a> <span class="item-control blog-admin pid-971756610" style="display: inline;"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/delete-comment.g?blogID=8740475&postID=7691989661685915040" style="border: none; color: #716e6c;" title="Delete Comment"><span class="delete-comment-icon" style="background-image: url(http://www.blogger.com/img/icon_delete13.gif); background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; padding: 7px;"> </span></a></span></dd></dl>
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NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-43513801211901128982012-08-02T09:38:00.002-04:002012-08-02T09:39:01.194-04:00Reprint of False Analogy Blog Post...Well I found this blog article again thanks to a post from a mother in Germany. <br />
<br />
Thanks...<br />
<br />
I think you'll find this an interesting, albeit long, read...<br />
<br />
*************************************************************************<br />
<br />
<h2>
False Analogy</h2>
<br />
<br />
<h3>
Men As Beasts of Burden</h3>
<br />
<h4>
Marty Nemko</h4>
There are five widows for every widower.<br />
<br />
Kevin, 37, is a computer programmer, making $80,000 a year, $48,000 after taxes. His wife, Lisa, stays home to take care of their two-year old. She is pregnant with another child, and eager for them to buy a home. Kevin doesn’t like being a programmer, but fears that a career change will mean a salary cut.<br />
<br />
I asked Kevin, “Is owning a home important to you?” He replied, “It’s very important to Lisa.” I asked him how he felt about having the second child. He sighed, “Okay, but Lisa really wants it.”<br />
<br />
I asked, “When you first called me, you said you feel the stress is killing you. Should you be shouldering all the family’s financial responsibilities?” He pursed his lips: “Lisa reminds me that before we got married, I agreed to have two kids. She says, and I guess I agree, that to bring our kids up right and maintain a home is a full-time job. And she doesn’t have my earning capacity.” Kevin rubbed his head.<br />
<br />
Over the past 17 years, I have been career coach to 1,500 middle and upper class women and to 500 middle-to-upper class men. Because of our relationships’ confidentiality, I have learned much about what women really think on a number of issues.<br />
<br />
Most surprising to me, is that at least half of the women, including many graduates of elite colleges, either don’t want an income-earning job or will only work part-time in an unusually pleasant job.<br />
<br />
A recent New York Times article suggests that my clients are not an anomaly. It reported that the number of stay-at-home moms has increased 13 percent in less than a decade, and among working women, 2/3 work part-time. This is true even of graduates of prestigious colleges, women who were bestowed a fiercely competed-for slot at an elite college on the assumption they would use that coveted degree to make a big difference in the world.<br />
<br />
Few of those women’s application essays indicated they planned to be housewives. Yet among Stanford’s class of ’81, in just their first decade after graduation, 57 percent of mothers spent at least a year at home full-time. One in four stayed home full-time for three or more years. A survey of the women from the Harvard Business School classes of 1981, 1985, and 1991 found that only 38 percent of all women—even if childless--were working full time. And beyond the elite colleges, among white men, 95% of all MBAs in the U.S. work full time, while the number for white women was just 67 percent.<br />
<br />
And “full-time” doesn’t mean the same for men and women. Among my 1,500 female clients and many friends, very few are willing to sacrifice work/life balance to work the 60+ hours a week it normally takes to rise to the top of a profession.<br />
<br />
Yet women’s groups complain that women are “underrepresented” in the power professions: senior executives, professors, etc., because of a glass ceiling they claim is erected by men.<br />
<br />
Of course, there are many ambitious, achieving women who are men’s equals or superiors. But many of my female clients and friends prefer the life of a housewife, perhaps augmented by a pleasant little part-time job, even if it means their husband, whom they claim to love, must work long, hard hours on jobs few women would consider. For example, the vast majority of people who work in iron foundries, coalmines, and other clanging, polluted environments are men. According to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics, 92 percent of workplace deaths occur to men.<br />
<br />
Dan, a client of mine (name changed) avoided breathing carcinogenic air, but his life is still at risk. He has two masters degrees in counseling, but in the big city, where it seems there’s a therapist under every rock, hasn’t been able to land a job as a counselor. He has a few private clients, which in total earn him $6,000 a year. He adds $8,000 as a mock patient in a medical school, and at night, Dan, 54, moonlights as a waiter at a large restaurant. He says, “It’s almost ¼ mile from the kitchen to the farthest table, so when I get home at one in the morning, I’m exhausted. But I’m still so wired, I need a couple of glasses of wine to get to sleep. If I’m lucky, I get five hours of sleep before I have to get up again.”<br />
<br />
Dan’s wife Denise, a Cornell graduate, is 47 and says she’s a musician. But in their years together, her net income has averaged just $800 a year. When Dan encourages Denise to get a job that pays, she objects:“ But I love being a musician. I’m trying to make a living at it.” He keeps urging her to get a paying job, but after a while, he gives up. He can’t make her get a job.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, Dan continues to drag himself through life like an ox yoked to a plow, a beast of burden. “I don’t know how long I can keep this up.” Statistically, he’s right. Medical science is unequivocal that stress and overwork kills. No doubt, that contributes to their being five widows for every widower.<br />
<br />
To be fair, many men prefer their wives to stay home, but often, the impetus comes from the woman. Many women use dubious arguments to convince their husbands that they should have, at most, a part-time job:<br />
<br />
It’s better for the children. Yes, on average, kids with a stay-at-home-mom do somewhat better, but that is largely because couples that can afford to have mom staying at home are, on average, from a higher socioeconomic class, which confers many other benefits on the child.<br />
<br />
A number of studies indicate that being a working mom doesn't hurt and may even help the child. For example, the most recent study (July 2003) Caring and Counting: The impact of mothers' employment on family relationships by Tracey Reynolds, Claire Callender and Rosalind Edwards, reports, "...the mother's work had a positive impact on their family relationships. The mother's employment provided skills and resources that meant they could meet their children's emotional, developmental and material needs better. Their relationship with their partner was enhanced because they shared the financial burden of providing for their family and had more common interests." The book, Ask The Children, is based on in-depth interviews with 600 parents and more than 1,000 children in the third through twelfth grades from diverse backgrounds. It found that "having a working mother is not predictive of how children assess their mothers' parenting skills, based on a number of attributes strongly linked to children's healthy development and school success. These include 'being someone I can go to when I am upset' and 'knowing what is really going on in my life.'" This study's results were reported to the public in a cover story in Working Mothermagazine called "Hey Moms, Drop the Guilt!" Millions of children with working moms do just fine. What counts most is quality time: reasonably consistent, loving, limit-setting but not punitive parenting, even if it begins after the workday.<br />
<br />
Lest you think I haven’t practiced what I preach, my wife went back to work full-time, nine weeks after our daughter was born, and she turned out just fine: well-adjusted, voted UCLA’s outstanding undergraduate student, whereafter she got a White House internship, after which she went to Yale Law School, is now a successful attorney and about to marry a wonderful guy.<br />
<br />
And even if a child accrues some advantage from having a stay-at-home mom, that advantage is usually more than outweighed by the pressure added to the husband’s life and the lifestyle decrement that comes from the lack of a second income. One such decrement is that men who must earn all the family income are precluded from considering rewarding but not lucrative careers such as teaching, and most jobs in non-profits, the arts, journalism, etc.<br />
<br />
Adding to the unfairness, women, on average, are more motivated than their husbands to have children to begin with. The man is often pressured, subtly or not subtly, into parenthood, with all its added financial and time demands.<br />
<br />
Taking care of the kids and home is a full-time job. These women stretch homemaking into a full-time job with activities far less beneficial than a second income to the family and certainly to her husband’s health and quality of life: preparing home-cooked dinners most nights, sitting with other moms watching a playgroup when a babysitter could do that, etc.<br />
<br />
Being a homemaker is at least as stressful as being in the work world. These women point to their having to deal with a frequently crying baby or claim that being at home is a three-ring circus. But fact is, a significant percentage of many stay-at-home moms' days are spent on low-stress tasks such as supermarket shopping, playing with the baby, making dinner, and chatting with friends while baby is napping.<br />
<br />
That life is much less stressful than most out-of-home jobs, which are filled with unpredictable commutes, ever increasing workloads because of the relentless downsizing, bosses with unrealistic expectations, co-workers who don’t pull their weight, and tough tasks, which if not completed satisfactorily can result in criticism or even firing.<br />
<br />
I don’t have your earning power. Dr. Warren Farrell’s research debunks the flawed research that claims women earn 79 cents on the dollar. When controlled for hours on the job, performance evaluations, and years of experience, women earn $1.01 for every dollar men earn.<br />
<br />
And the reason women have fewer years of experience is that they disproportionately elect to stay home with their children, or even if they work “full-time,” they work far fewer hours than their male counterparts so they can spend more time with their kids or on their avocations. Many more women than men —full-time workers and not-- ensure they have time for yoga, get-togethers with friends, art class, gardening, and visits to the day spa. Since 2000, despite the economic downturn, the number of spa visits nationwide, the vast majority of which are made by women, has doubled!<br />
<br />
Women don’t just spend on day spas. They’re, overall, the bigger spenders. Yes, men buy more tools and technotoys but women, even when they contribute little or nothing to the family income, are the predominant spenders: clothing, jewelry, therapy, home redecorating of no interest to the man, etc. Most shopaholics are women. Every expenditure loads additional pressure onto the primary breadwinner, which is usually the husband.<br />
<br />
Most of my male clients have accepted their plight of having to work, work, work at unrewarding, even dangerous jobs. Biology, parents, and society have programmed men to be the hunter, the provider, to keep their nose to the grindstone, no matter what. Too many wives only encourage it. Just today, a client of mine who earns more than $200,000 a year as a not-partner attorney at a major law firm, exclaimed, “If I don’t push NOW to make partner, my wife will kill me!”<br />
<br />
Usually, the wife won’t kill the husband, but often will divorce him, at least in part because “he wasn't a good provider.” And most courts reward her with custody of the child and a requirement that the father pay child support and/or alimony.<br />
<br />
When I ask a male client to step back and think about it, many of them realize that their wives have tried—usually successfully--to subtly or not so subtly coerce them into being the primary or sole breadwinner, the beast of burden. Those women make the above arguments, plus use manipulative techniques such as crying, guilt-tripping, screaming, avoiding the topic of getting a job, and forever promising to look for work but making feeble efforts.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, many men live bleak lives: work 10+ hours, commute home, and drop into the couch exhausted. And their reward: an early grave. Despite obesity being more prevalent among women, there are five widows for every widower. Yet all we hear about is another fundraiser for breast cancer.<br />
<br />
If a husband hasn't done so already, he should consider having an open discussion with his wife about work and money. For example:<br />
<br />
• “Will buying a house or having another child put too much financial pressure on us?”<br />
<br />
• “If we decide to make those high-cost expenditures, do we want to put all the financial burden on one partner so the other can stay home to raise the child? Or should it be divided more evenly?”<br />
<br />
• “Should I refuse to work at an unrewarding high-stress or dangerous job?”<br />
<br />
The elite colleges should issue the following exhortation to their students, male and female: "As you well know, the diploma you will receive from this institution will open the doors of influence: from medical research to non-profit directorship, from corporate leadership to stewardship of the arts. In accepting one of the precious few student seats at this institution, you tacitly accept the responsibility to society to make the most of that coveted degree. We encourage you to aim high, to use that degree to make the biggest difference you can for humankind. As important as being a good parent is, you don't need an elite degree to do that."<br />
<br />
(I changed a few irrelevant details about my clients to protect their anonymity.)<br />
<br />
Dr. Nemko is available to speak on gender, race, career, and parenting issues. Contact him at mnemko@earthlink.net or 510-655-2777. 400+ of his published writings are free onwww.martynemko.com.<br />
<br />
http://www.martynemko.com/articles.shtm<br />
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At my first reading of this article I was extremely annoyed at the author. First, because clearly this was a vicious attack against stay-at-home mothers (who in my opinion even one of them is worth dozens of Nemko’s version of a mother). I mean dumping your kid off with a babysitter when they aren’t even 3 months old yet is not something to brag about and to paint this as being a viable and good choice for most families (even if they have other options such as working p/t, becoming a SAHM, working out of their home, etc.,) is laughable.Families do this if they have too, it should not be their first and onlychoice.<br />
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Not to mention that the biggest problem facing industrialized civiliations is not figuring out how to keep every women gainfully employed within her field after graduating them from college (that probably ranks as problem #10,082, coming in right after addressing the problem of meteorites hitting city pedestrians as they’re out walking their dogs) . In other words not a very significant issue in the general scheme of things. The more important issue remains how to convince most women in western civilization to say yes to having children when they have 1001 reasons to say no. Otherwise at the rate most of western societies are going, there won’t be any of us around to care about either issue.<br />
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Just for the information of the ignorant, the whole mother/child bonding process is not just for the sake of the child, but for the sake of the mother, as well as everyone else in society who benefits when mothers bond with children. Since men contribute little or nothing to the process of bearing life (that burden or honor has been chosen for women to carry alone) that means most women should have at least two kids (one to replace her and one to replace her husband since he can’t replace himself). This just to keep a nation’s population numbers stable. Additionally we have to factor in the lack of gender-neutralized feminists adding any human capital to the pool; which means some women might have to bear three children depending upon how many of these gender neutrals are ultimately spawn.<br />
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Now properly bonding with her first child probably convinces a mother to go on to have a few more other then just the first one. As opposed to having her charge back to work 9 weeks after delivery, which probably contributes to her view of a child as nothing more then an expensive burden to everyone, including herself. Something to do once just for the heck of it, (maybe, or not at all ever), with the ultimate goal being to move on afterwards to more important things such as getting back to work as quickly as possible<br />
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This article contributes to that attitude.<br />
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The second annoyance was that I picked up many analogies within the article which painted a false picture of the professional men the writer was referencing. As no educated man today works like a “beast of burden” in our society, none. This is a clear exaggeration of what our society requires from professional men today. As for the most part a professional’s ten-hour day can easily include a two-hour lunch, another hour or so of general goofing off on the phone, internet, coffer klatches, etc., and a vast number of meetings which extend into nothing more then general gab fests which serve no useful business purpose whatsoever.<br />
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Painting even 10 hours of this kind of activity as “Men as Beasts of Burden” is a joke.<br />
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Once again, I find men who inhabit the professional classes of western civilization reaching into the archives and coming up with old statistics or statistics of other classes/races of men and trying to claim them as their own. Yes, there was a time in our history that men did work as ‘beasts of burden’ but that was the same period where women died in childbirth, before the days of safe and reliable birth control, just plain worn out from one pregnancy/delivery after another.<br />
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These times have long past for both sexes.<br />
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Just because the mother’s life is somewhat easier then the father’s after she goes through the initial inconvenience and disfigurement of her body, the painful medical procedures that go on for months and the final god-awful 10 to 20 hours of being a bleeding and bloody mess in order to finally deliver a child (while, I might add, men sit there contributing absolutely NOTHING to the entire process) doesn’t mean she isn’t contributing something which is of equal value (if not more) as going to work everyday.<br />
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One can make the case (and I frequently do) that a mother is contributing something of more value then a working person. Since unless you are discovering the cure for cancer or saving the world from an alien invasion, you are quite replaceable in whatever job you have, whereas a woman in her role as a mother is not. The ancient Spartans considered pregnancy and childbearing to be the equivalent of what male soldiers contributed to their societies on the front lines in times of war. Thus they considered a woman to have fulfilled her patriotic duty to her society after having children and required no wartime service from her. Now considering that joining the military is voluntary in all of the west today and few men actually join the military anymore, one could say that women are still fulfilling our duty, while MOST men are not.<br />
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The little bit you are asked to do which is basically working an ordinary JOB seems to be too much. Now you are comparing yourselves to “beasts of burden”. Please that is such baloney. Men are actually responsible for most of this immigration mess we are in today, as your refusal to do any really hard-dirty jobs is what has led to men from other countries coming in here to do the jobs that are really ‘beasts of burden’ jobs.<br />
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Sorry if men don’t wish to hear that, it’s just tough.<br />
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Take it up with God, evolution or nature if you don’t like the way it worked out. Women bear the next generation and receive the honor for this, or curse as some would say.<br />
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Again, you don’t like it, tough.<br />
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Regarding the fact that men die today sooner then women, well that happens quite simply because you do more dangerous things. As even when men come out of the military, for instance, many of you then go on to getting killed in motorcycle accidents. Clearly motorcycling, wind surfing, mountain climbing, white water rafting, driving cars fast, these are all sports men primarily do and it leads to a higher death rate for them (not to mention that more of you are lawbreakers, drug and alcohol abusers) but I’m just talking about the ‘fun’ things you do that get you all killed sooner then women.<br />
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It used to be thought men died sooner due to wars, but even when you are NOT in wars, men continue doing the same sorts of dangerous things that keep your death statistics high.<br />
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Clearly it’s an issue of male dominance.<br />
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The same with working many of the most dangerous jobs in the work force by the way. The men who will join the armed forces generally are the same ones who will join the police force, fire department, state police, etc., in civilian life. Even though many men claim they are forced into dangerous jobs, a lot of these men profile themselves into dangerous jobs.<br />
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Additionally as I saw above, I find men still do many sorts of dangerous things for recreation, even if they are professionals and their jobs are not dangerous.<br />
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For instance, I watch many history shows that have men doing, as a hobby not a job: dregging up old mines and salvaging old rusted mining equipment for repair and showing to others, pulling up old WWI and II planes/ships from the bottom of lakes or seas to refurbish, again, just for fun. Recreating historic battle fields and fighting the fights over again. JUST FOR FUN…and who are most of the people who play paintball…MEN. Again, can be dangerous but men do this for recreation.<br />
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So don’t act like men die from being forced into dangerous jobs…as even when you don’t have to take dangerous jobs, you place yourselves in danger by pursuing dangerous hobbies.<br />
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So again, it’s an issue of male dominance.<br />
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Another additional point which I have heard many men commenting upon especially around Mothers’ Day when your jealousy of mothers becomes more obvious: it makes no difference whether or not every lower life form on the planet also gives birth in a similar manner as human mothers do, since lesser life forms operate on instinct and have no choice in the matter. Thus, it takes nothing away from human mothers who CHOSE to bear a new life and bring it into the world. As many women can (and frequently do today) opt out of the whole bearing children situation just by using birth control for their entire reproductive lives.<br />
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So never assume this is something women HAVE to do and will continue doing, if they continue receiving this disrespectful treatment. It’s not a given by any means that a good number of women will continue bearing the nation’s future generations, not by any means. As it’s not equivalent to a bowel movement which is necessary biological function. Giving birth is not in the same category, not since the advent of cheap, reliable and safe birth control. It is a choice women make not a bodily function we have no control of, not anymore anyway.<br />
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AND since we are being totally honest about usefulness in social roles, I must add that the ONLY socially constructed useful thing men ever provided is the ‘backup and support’ to the women of their societies which allowed a mother to be home, having her children and raising them. Thus if, for whatever reason, men have decided they no longer wish to do this, I can see you rapidly losing any value to the societies you reside within.<br />
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Between the higher crime rates, endless civil unrest and wars over nothing that men constantly generate amongst each other in every society, people can easily decide that a world with more woman and fewer men can exist very nicely on the planet. Remember women have already shown that they can live in a world run by a few alpha males in government, as our voting patterns clearly demonstrate: we are not adverse to men being in charge even when women are the majority of voters…<br />
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So if most men continue being more trouble then they are worth, well they can easily wind up following the dinosaurs…<br />
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posted by NYMOM <br />
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 <br />
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21 Comments:<br />
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silverside said...<br />
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I find these whiny articles really overreaching. These guys supporting their wives with three kids neatly forget that she put him through law school as a secretary by day and a waitress by night. They also forget that chances are, she's not staying out of the workforce for 20 years plus, more like 3-4 tops. And we forget all the starry-eyed girlfriends and wives who support "artist" husbands. Charles Frazier, who wrote Cold Mountain, was one of them. (At least that gamble paid off). I remember seeing in the New Yorker about a famous jazz musician who was supported by a woman for years while he rethought his style. Then there are the deadbeats who continue to be musicians or poets forever. As you know, my ex has devoted himself exclusively to his hobbies since 1991. No paying work for him; he has a "laid back lifestyle" and wouldn't be happy at a factory or an office. Actually, this is what one of the custody evaluators said about him (in his defense!) The same guy apparently didn't care whether I had important hobbies that meant something to me or whether I liked working. <br />
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Interesting that women are always dismissed as leaches, even with three kids under five to take care of, while the musician-guys get a pass. Of course, if the woman with three kids under five gets a job, she's automatically a Bad Mother who Puts Her Career First. You can't win with these asshats.<br />
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3:28 PM <br />
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NYMOM said...<br />
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Exactly...<br />
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That's what most of this complaining about stay-at-home mothers is. Men wanting to spend their money on their hobbies, instead of what they consider 'wasting' it on their families. Remember when men were the only ones working they also were the ONLY ones with any say about how the household money was spent. So if it came down to a new car for him versus new drapes and carpet for the house, obviously the one making the money won that argument. <br />
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Although everyone in the family benefits from the house looking better, only the one who drives the new car benefits from that, another boy toy to showoff. Most of these idiots want women working so they can continue pissing away their money on crap they can't really afford, when their money has to pay all the bills.<br />
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I think we have a bunch of men out there who just haven't grown up yet, they are like damn teenagers wanting to spend every cent they make on expensive sneakers and GAP jeans... <br />
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My ex was the same way. <br />
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He had managed to get into a job before I met him, that provided him free rent and free utilities including telephone. So basically he only made his car payment every month and then pissed away the rest of his entire check. <br />
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I was paying for all of the food, buying for him and his three kids and my ONE CHILD, paying the cable, buying ALL the clothes for everyone as he never placed aside any money for the kids' school clothes or even birthdays and Christmas gifts... <br />
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Every extra including any vacations, school clothes/ supplies, money for extra school activies, I had to put out for...<br />
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Of course my child came into the relationship used to a higher standard of living, since even though I made less then him, I spent it more carefully...so in order to integrate us as one family I had to either have my kid do without as his kids did or pay for everything to bring them up to my child's standard. I chose to bring them up to my child's standard and winded up after divorce, having spent all my savings and gone $20,000 into credit card debt between shopping for clothes for everyone, including him, birthdays/ Christmas gifts. I mean I even had to give his kids money for them to buy their mother a Christmas present.<br />
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But what else could I do? Like you I picked a loser.<br />
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What men fail to realize is that if they continue this slide into irrelevancy, more women are going to continue becoming single mothers. Many of these men are already pretty useless and they are heading into totally useless now. <br />
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I mean if I have to clean, shop, cook, do everything pertaining to the house (since as the author claims men aren't that interested in the home) bear the children on top of working to pay half the bills...what in the HECK do I need a man for...<br />
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Short answer: nothing...that's what the author fails to realize.<br />
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7:41 AM <br />
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NYMOM said...<br />
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BTW, silverside...I just finished reading an interesting book "The Sibling Society" (by Robert Bly, not my favorite author but this book wasn't bad) anywhere he talks about the long-lasting adolescence of people today, particularly in the US. He mentions how even when he travels he can pick out Americans from crowds as they have the most youthful and childlike open faces, not mature looking at all...<br />
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He is talking about men and women, but I got the impression he was mainly talking about men, when he mentioned how many people are extending adolescence into their 30s today...still living at home, not married, probably spending every penny they make (IF they work) on CDs, expensive cars, other gadgets, etc., How many guys I know who have a car and are still living with their mothers, for instance. I mean owning a car USED to be (when I was growing up anyway) a sign of maturity. Today it's frequently a sign of irresponsibility.<br />
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Even your ex with his mother (or his girlfriend's family) AND the taxpayers with that EIC business STILL paying his bills. Just like you said that custody evaluator painting his refusal to get a job as very understandable...WTH, I don't feel like getting up and working in a job either, but I do it because I have to...like every other mature adult knows they have to do.<br />
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That's the thing that bugs me the most about these gender-neutral feminists as well. It's almost like their support of gender neutral custody is empowering these guys. As previously if a man was like your ex, every other adult in society including his mother and every other authority figure, would be working with his wife to force him to mature. <br />
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TODAY, these idiots get custody of children, convince their mothers to pay their bills and their ex-wives to give them child support so they can just continue playing all day using your kids as another excuse to be immature...<br />
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So feminism is actually enabling the worse of men to get over on everyone.<br />
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9:42 AM <br />
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Anonymous said...<br />
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Hi NYMOM.<br />
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Have you emailed Marty Nemko to give him your thoughts on this? I read his article a long time ago and immediately emailed him to give him a piece of my mind. He replied, still disagreeing with me although gracious for the most part. He did ask if I had shown his article to my husband :-). Of course DH did read it and told me to please pay no attention to this crap--that I was NOT sending him to an early grave and he would be far more stressed if we were both at work and our kids were with strangers all day.<br />
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I DO understand the professional pressures of which he speaks. Having been in the legal profession I'm familiar with the long hours, the pressing deadlines, the high stakes and expectations, the throwing up in the restroom before critical court appearances (even my practice and procedure prof, the most arrogant SOB you ever saw, freely admitted to having often done that). But part of the job of the SAH spouse is (or should be) to take ALL of the other domestic pressures off the employed spouse so they can enjoy the family time they do have.<br />
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I laughed at the bit about the yoga classes and day spas. In our neighborhood there are only a few at-home spouses that I'm acquainted with--one SAHD around the corner, two SAHM's on the cul-de-sac behind us, and me--and NONE of us has any time for stuff like that. It appears that Marty Nemko simply has never done this job and has no clue what it's all about.<br />
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I'd also be interested in knowing if he tells you the same thing he told me: that my response to his article was atypical and that just about everyone else thought he was spot-on. I read the responses in the American Spectator and mine was FAR from atypical.<br />
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Thanks.<br />
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Anne<br />
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3:47 PM <br />
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NYMOM said...<br />
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I never contacted him at all as the article was old and I plucked it from another website. I didn't know if it was appropriate to respond to such an old article. <br />
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I figured he put it out on the internet so it was fair game and as long as I cited the article as his, that was the extent of what was required.<br />
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Additionally, I'm not as tactful as you and I probably would have ended up in a huge argument if I had contacted him, so I just decided to leave well enough alone. I don't need any more enemies.<br />
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Also, I don't believe that everyone agreed with him at all...or maybe where he initially posted it mostly men read, so that could explain it. As where they posted the link to his article on another site MOST of the people on that link DISAGREED in their responses, but most of the responses were from women.<br />
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The other thing I don't agree with is that professionals, even lawyers, are ever working like "beasts of burden" even if they put in 8 to 10 hour days. <br />
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It's ridiculous for someone to believe that.<br />
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Further down on my blog I referenced an article stating how the mens rights movement is stealing the statistics of black and hispanic men and using them to paint ALL men (and boys) as being discriminated against. Now they are trying the same thing with this 'beasts of burden' business vis-a-vis their jobs.<br />
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Men die earlier in the west anyway, not due to working like 'beasts of burden' at all but due to the fact that they take more dangerous jobs (by their own choice, their decision) even the armed forces is ALL VOLUNTARY now so nobody forces them into it. <br />
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Additionally men, in general, take more dangerous chances in life, such as MOST criminals are men: bank robbers, carjackers, hit men, mob enforcers, etc., Men even drive faster, which is why their insurance is higher, and last but not least men take up hobbies like riding motorcycles, sky diving, hunting, etc., <br />
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So even when they have safe jobs like being lawyers, they have dangerous hobbies and recreational pursuits...<br />
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Why don't they sit home and read books, watch TV, get a cat to play with, go to chatrooms for recreation like women do...then they'll live long lives...<br />
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12:24 PM <br />
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Anonymous said...<br />
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Well, maybe you're right about not contacting him. I just suggested it because he appears to be someone who is particularly open to feedback of all types. He has a website, too, but most of his articles are about career strategies.<br />
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About professionals, I certainly can't speak for all of them but I know that the legal profession, at least, involves a great deal of stress. It's the reason why, despite the financial rewards and the ever-increasing number of law school applicants, MANY attorneys eventually realize that they only have one life and leave the field to do something else. Believe it or not, almost a quarter of my classmates graduated no longer wanting to be lawyers (the final year is particularly exhausting), but most had student loans to pay off so they had to go on and do it, at least for a time. I would hate to have married one--we'd probably never see him!<br />
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After I left the profession and moved into teaching my family property prof, with whom I keep in contact, did not chide me for wasting my degree and experience but congratulated me. "Good for you," he said. "It's a much better way to live."<br />
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So while I can relate up to a point, Mr. Nemko is nevertheless exaggerating this notion of parasitic wives living lives of luxury while the guys work all day. The simple truth is that toddlers don't allow any such thing. LOL<br />
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Thanks,<br />
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Anne<br />
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3:54 PM <br />
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NYMOM said...<br />
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Yes, I agree the hours are long but clearly to discribe what attorneys or just about any other professional really does today as "beast of burden" work is not really correct. Working like a beast of burden is just as it sounds: hard, physical, back-breaking labor. <br />
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Regarding what you said about toddlers or even infants, that is a job where you won't get any sleep, but it's also not a job where you are a 'beast of burden' either...<br />
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I mean breast feeding an infant alone for the first few months probably takes up MOST of your time. As breast milk is more easily disgested and so the baby is always hungry. Since it takes about 40 minutes or so to nurse, your entire day can be taken up with just sleeping and nursing every few hours.<br />
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Actually this is why I believe so many mothers stopped nursing. It was too time consuming in our busy world whether or NOT you worked. I mean frankly I don't know how women did it in our past especially when they had other children even and a household to care for...<br />
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In the wild usually the young have already left (or at least stopped nursing, before a mother gets pregnant again...<br />
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Anyway, I read somewhere that they are starting to believe this could be why so many people are developing peanut allegies now as many parents and babysitters to get kids to sleep longer are putting cereal in their bottles. This just started in a big way when I had my first baby (in the 70s) and I remember many many people telling me to do it to get my daughter to sleep more...<br />
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Anyway, many cereals have peanut-based oils or other peanut-based ingredients in them; so infants start forming antibodies against peanuts very early and this is what leads to all these allegy reactions to peanuts we've been heading about lately.<br />
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PS: a horror.<br />
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Anyway I've noticed with my grand daughter and all her little friends (she was a playgroup raised kid although my daughter could have worked p/t but didn't wish to) anyway they all eat nothing but cereal and milk, preferrably sweetened, but I won't buy that for my house...but every kid today exists on a LOT of cereal and milk. <br />
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This is another little discussed result of mothers rushing off to work early...not investing the time to properly expose their child's palate to a proper diet. AND guess what no babysitter or daycare is going to bother with that for every kid if you don't. They'll just feed them whatever is easiest for them and that usually spells a bowl of cereal and milk.<br />
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I even see toddlers being stuffed with dried cereal in the park day and night to keep them full probably...<br />
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4:45 PM <br />
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Anonymous said...<br />
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Except for the denigration of men, we finally agree on something. It's ridiculous to claim children are just as well off without their moms at home.<br />
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Some of it I can't agree with because my husband DOES work a very dangerous job out of necessity, and could see himself as a beast of burden, were he the type to use such phrases or pity himself. And I could not have made the choice to stay home and continue to care for my children full time if he did not continue in his work. So I'm grateful to him for putting his children's needs first, and for recognizing that children need a parent at home, and being willing to make the sacrifices necessary to seeing that our children have always had that. Nor is he irresponsible enough to pursue dangerous hobbies outside his work. He's too busy doing the heavy work on the house and being a good father to the children and a good husband to me.<br />
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I don't see how mothers could be the ones to stay home on anything approaching a large scale were men not willing to work as necessary (which for many WILL include dangerous jobs as not all are or can be "professionals.") It just wouldn't be economically feasible.<br />
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While men don't bodily carry the children, good men spend the time of pregnancy working (in our case really hard and at substantial risk) so that the mother can take proper care of herself and the coming baby, then they spend the next 18 - 21 years providing continued support, guidance, love, protection (to both mother and children) and contribute to the upkeep of the family home (a thankless and arduous task in many cases, including ours.) Also I couldn't have gone through the birth nearly so calmly without his presence and emotional support.<br />
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At any rate if I could erase the disparagement of men from this blog entry I'd have to say I agree with the rest of it, and find the original article a piece of crap.<br />
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12:55 PM <br />
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Anonymous said...<br />
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"I mean frankly I don't know how women did it in our past especially when they had other children even and a household to care for..."<br />
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I used to wonder the exact same thing when I was nursing our son. Even our daughter, who got used to bottles in the NICU and never learned to latch-on, required about six bottles a day and took forever to drink them (which is why I used to blog a lot more then than now). Then our son would need his meals and snacks (he was also a slow, frustrating eater), and of course there would be our regular meals to prepare. For a while I used to laugh about being "just a waitress." I guess in ages past older siblings used to help with a lot of the child care. I remember my grandfather, who was one of the younger kids in the family, saying that his oldest sister was as much a mother to him as their own mother was.<br />
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"Anyway, I read somewhere that they are starting to believe this could be why so many people are developing peanut allegies now as many parents and babysitters to get kids to sleep longer are putting cereal in their bottles. This just started in a big way when I had my first baby (in the 70s) and I remember many many people telling me to do it to get my daughter to sleep more..."<br />
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You still hear a lot of that, even though all experts will tell you it's a myth that cereal makes them sleep longer, and even besides the risk of allergies it predisposes kids to over-eating and obesity. It seems that no sooner does the baby arrive then everyone starts asking when he's going to start on cereal. It's ridiculous. The doctor told us we could start cereal at 3 mos if we wanted to but that babies don't really need any solids until about 6 mos. So we just waited till then. Although we do still carry a small container of Cheerios out in public it's because when the kids want a quick snack away from home it's the least messy alternative. We try to stick to fruit or yogurt for snacks at home.<br />
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Our nephew loves Froot Loops for snacks. Did you ever smell the inside of a Froot Loops box? Pew-wee! We won't let our kids even start down that sweetened-cereal path. For all they know Cheerios, Wheaties, Shredded Wheat and oatmeal are the only cereals in the world.<br />
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Anne<br />
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4:42 PM <br />
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NYMOM said...<br />
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"At any rate if I could erase the disparagement of men from this blog entry I'd have to say I agree with the rest of it, and find the original article a piece of crap."<br />
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Sadly we can't separate the two, as what you call the 'disparagement of men' I call 'truth telling. It's exposing the web of media propaganda and statistical lies that men have built up over the last few decades in order to, not just disparage women in their role as mothers, but to snatch custody of our children from us. Much of this is instigaged for financial gain by men...<br />
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So this man who wrote this aricle has quite a followng and speaks for many men. AND I don't see a lot of men who are construction workers and doing other dangerous and 'beast of burden' jobs starting blogs up to defend mothers...but interesting enough there are hundreds of women arguing with me <br />
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to defend men.<br />
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So until I see men defending mothers as you all defend them, this blog continues full speed ahead...<br />
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12:49 PM <br />
<br />
Anonymous said...<br />
<br />
Because the men who really do work as beasts of burden (and they do exist; I live with one and know many others who do) don't have time to sit on the internet blogging about their thoughts. They're too busy putting food on the table and keeping a roof over their wives' and children's heads, then spending what little time they have left bonding with their families. They defend their families from harm, no doubt, but they don't have time to respond to every crackpot article that circulates the net (such as the one you have been commenting on.) They're busy, you know, living their family lives. And many of them doing a darn fine job of it too. There is no reason to paint ALL men with the same brush; outside of a deep-seated emotional problem, perhaps a past trauma(s) but that isn't really healthy. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
You want women to stay home and mother then don't give any credit to the men who enable them to do so, and provide lots of other perks to go with it. Just to clarify - the government can't take care of all of us; not without (you guessed it) PLENTY of beasts of burden to keep fueling the economy and unfairly taking their money and handing it to women who want children but refuse to associate with anyone with the stink of "male" on him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I defend mothers and I defend good fathers. I suppose if I'd never known good fathers I wouldn't do so, but I've known plenty. No reason to disappear them simply because it makes some people uncomfortable.<br />
<br />
5:45 AM <br />
<br />
NYMOM said...<br />
<br />
"I defend mothers and I defend good fathers."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Well the problem is most women are quick to defend men; but we don't get the same treatment in return when we are under attack. As EVERY site this article was posted on ALL of the men agreed with the author. I didn't hear even ONE man disagreeing with him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So clearly if both men and women are going to defend men; but men don't feel the same obligation to defend women when we are attacked, then the public gets an unbalanced perspective. This is often how ordinary people gets a skewered perception of what is really going on...that article is a good example of what I am talking about.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
As I guarantee you that every young woman reading it would feel uncomfortable telling anyone she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom someday in the future and every young man reading it would be hostile to the idea of his wife staying home with the children as well. Plus I didn't see even ONE rebuttal by a public figure against what he wrote. Yet I guarantee you that if a woman had written a similar article about most stay-at-home fathers being lazy loafers, just taking advantage of their wife and children when they should be working to contribute money to the household, there would have been dozens of responses, many from women, attacking the author as anti-father.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Privately women have told me they emailed him or just disagreed with him, interestingly however no men told me they disagreed with the article. Well a private email or disagreement is just between you and it's recipient, no one else is aware of it, so it does little public good and makes it appear more people agree with the author then disagree. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Even your comment about "women who want children but refuse to associate with anyone with the 'stink' of male on them" is a vast exaggeration and distortion about the reality of why so many women are just going ahead and having children without being married. As MOST of those women were in relationships with men trying to get married for years; before they just went ahead and chose to have a child on their own. Even looking at the census shows that it's older women becoming single mothers now, not so many young teenagers anymore, a whole different population.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Remember women's timeline is not as long as men. Women's fertility begins declining when she's 27/28 years old and continues that decline each year until she enters menopause. We cannot wait until our late 30s/early 40s for our male counterparts to decide they are finally ready to settle down. Our eggs are hardboiled by that time. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So to paint this situation as women just chosing not to associate themselves with the 'stink' of men is not correct. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The bottom line is that the system of women, from about the age of 16 or so, having casual sex with men is clearly a system that favors men. As 1.) it takes away any incentive for men to get married as not only can they get sex anytime they feel like it; but 2.) even if a woman has a child, a single man's legal rights to this child are exactly the same as a married man's once he gets his name placed on the birth certificate. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So who does this benefit? Men, of course, not women that's for sure. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Thus, you need to think a little bit before you attack a blog such as mine which is unique (as much as anyone might hate to admit it) in defending women in their role as mothers...as NO OTHER BLOG EXISTS that consistently does this.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Plus, it continues the sorts of distortions about the reasons WHY single women are becoming mothers and allows men a free ride for what their irresponsible behavior contributes to this phenomenon.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It's actually as bad as the Nemko's article for continuing public ignorance about what is really happening...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Thus, you've contributed to MORE ignorance...<br />
<br />
10:16 AM <br />
<br />
NYMOM said...<br />
<br />
"Our nephew loves Fruit Loops as a snack. Did you ever smell the inside of a Fruit Loops box?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yes, it terrifying that people consider this as food for any living being, especially a child. I recently was diagnosised as being pre-diabetic, so I've become more aware of NOT eating so many processed foods anymore and have to prepare everything differently now. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I've also become aware as you said of the smell of things now. Just the other day someone placed a cup of instant hot chocolate next to me and I could smell the aroma of it very clearly and was getting sicken by it. It actually smelled like a potent chemical 'stew'...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Yuck.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I never ate a lot of junk food really, although my diet was very high in starch: potatoes, pasta, bread, rice, etc., which I have to cut back a lot of that now as that contributes to being diabetic as well...it's not really sugar so much as glucose which is formed when eating that starchy stuff (which I love)...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Oh well...one more cross to bear as they say...<br />
<br />
10:34 AM <br />
<br />
Anonymous said...<br />
<br />
Well first let me say I wasn't attacking your blog. Second, I wholeheartedly abhor the idea of women throwing themselves around casually regarding sex. It is certainly of no benefit to society for women to sleep around casually - though while it might PLEASE men I don't think it benefits them. But that's a long story.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
By the way, just out of curiosity, what do you do with genuinely bad and abusive mothers? I know they exist because I had one. I would have been far better off with my grandparents, who actually loved me, than with my mother who most assuredly did not. I don't think mothers as bad as she was are common, so don't get me wrong - I've only met one other person who had a mother who was that bent on destroying her offspring...what's worse, is that in both instances we would think "Well she just doesn't have it in her" but both were plenty capable of treating their other child like pure gold, and even that golden child's future offspring, while continuing the abuse of their hated child well on into adulthood until I had to simply cut all ties with her. (The other person I know is still trying to cut those ties, but it's not easy.) Like I say I know this is rare, but it does happen. Do you have any thoughts on that? (Please don't make this one about men, or somehow it must be their fault - men had nothing to do with this.) Let me tell you, it really ruins the rest of a person's life to have someone who hates you THAT MUCH raise you.<br />
<br />
8:59 PM <br />
<br />
Anonymous said...<br />
<br />
By the way you're so right about processed foods. Over the last several years the smell has become intolerable - it's some type of cardboard/chemical smell - yuck. Not fit for man nor beast. (Woman or weast? Heh)<br />
<br />
9:00 PM <br />
<br />
NYMOM said...<br />
<br />
"Like I say, I know this is rare, but it does happen."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
AND clearly as I have said many many times before, abusive mothers should not have custody. That's a given and just like in our past, abusive or neglectful mothers had their rights terminated and a father or other relative were then given custody.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
That is a very different situation however then what goes on today, where even fit loving mothers are not guaranteed custody of their children. This is true even of newborns btw, you could lose them before you leave the hospital under current law...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So let me say this: abusive PARENTS are rare, OKAY. As most PEOPLE are normal, so most of us do NOT abuse our children.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So really we cannot continue bringing up this issue every time we discuss public policies regarding custody of children and how it impacts ordinary people, as this has LITTLE to do with what I talk about on this blog.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The issues I discuss presupposed BOTH parents are normal, ordinary, everyday people. That's a given I presume and in that scenario (ALL things being equal) MOTHERS should always have automatic custody of their children. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Quite simply mothers invest more, risk more, simply contribute more to getting children here. Men invest little and should have lesser rights because of this...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sorry. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Unfortunately women cannot continue being expected to continue making the lion's share of the investment in this area only to be expected to drop into secondary status five seconds after giving birth. It's not fair to us and quite frankly if it continues, few women will bear children. We're already suffering a vast drop in birth rates and most of it is due to these ongoing custody wars every mother is expectred to deal with now after the birth of her child...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Many of these custody fights are instigated by men who are abusing the legal system to do an end run around the rights that God, evolution or nature has already designated as belonging to mothers and the children we alone bear. It's attempting to get the court to ignore the rights mothers already have through natural law and hand them over to men under cover of some phony equality argument...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So abuse has NOTHING to do with the issues I discuss on this blog. I find people tend to use it when they run out of other arguments.<br />
<br />
1:30 PM <br />
<br />
Anonymous said...<br />
<br />
Ok, I understand about abuse then. Fair enough that for your purposes you're presupposing normality and lack of abuse. I wasn't personally trying to argue, I was just curious. Thank you for replying.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I don't quite understand how after the birth of a child (which women do go through, for nine months and then the labor/delivery) the next 18 or more years are (or normally would be) both people raising said child...and the monetary contribution assuming the mom stays home and the dad provides all the money - how that could be called "little or nothing." How are women supposed to be able to stay home and raise the children if the husband doesn't work, and why would that contribution be considered so worthless, when it's what gives her that freedom in the first place? At least, normally, that's what gives her that freedom. This is the part I guess I'm not getting. I don't know; despite having to work my husband has always been very hands on with regard to the nuts and bolts care of the children - from baby care right up through a close relationship with both in adulthood. They wouldn't trade their father for anything; and most normal people with normal families (who aren't ripped apart by divorce) feel the same about their fathers; I don't see why that doesn't count for anything. Of course incentives for divorce (benefiting either sex) need to be quashed, IMO, it certainly doesn't help the children to have either parent ripped away.<br />
<br />
3:10 PM <br />
<br />
NYMOM said...<br />
<br />
The problem is that fewer and fewer men are providing these things anymore. AND that article by Nemko is just another example of the sorts of dialogue going on (behind mothers' backs) about how much men resent having to provide for a stay-at-home mother anymore. You would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to notice it. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It's appears to be having a definite change on most women as well, since MOST mothers are working, even mothers of very young children now. AND when you factor married working mothers into the equation, not even counting all the never-married working mothers (who, btw, generally get absolutely NOTHING but aggravation from their child's father) then what are the unique contributions or real value that we are talking about which men are supposedly contributing to the family????<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I mean I want to be fair about this but I just don't see how we can be, since what men consider fair (which is pretty much designate them with the same legal and moral authority as a child's mother when they contribute practically NOTHING to the equation) would be patently unfair to every women who becomes a mother.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I mean if a woman wishes to become a lawyer, a doctor or even a plumber, just like men, she must go to school for all the requisite training and get the grades and fulfill every single requirement just like men do before she gets that designation. That's the way it is with every other accomplishment in the world...EXCEPT becoming a father, then you do practically NOTHING and suddenly you have the exact same rights as a mother who has to do everything????<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
How is that justice????<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
AND God forbid you should bring up this obvious fact in polite company. Everyone looks like you have grown two heads or something. But in my opinion, it's ridiculous that no sensible person has ever mentioned this obvious fact before.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
AND of course, I agree, the problem then morphs into trying to rip this person away ONCE YOU HAVE GIVEN AWAY TO THEM YOUR NATURAL LAWFUL RIGHTS AS A MOTHER. Of course, it's a problem then which we cannot backtrack from. Almost like our illegal immigrant problem. We gave these people defacto citizenship and rights just by allowing them to stay and not saying anything at the time. So women who have done a similar thing are stuck. Correct. As their children already see these men as an equal to their mother...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
YET, this blog is about brainstorming to stop this from continuing....that's what it's about so that future mothers are not faced with this same situation and don't have to be looking over their shoulder waiting for the next custody fight or abduction attempt by some power-crazed idiot...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So that's the long and the short of it.<br />
<br />
5:17 PM <br />
<br />
Anonymous said...<br />
<br />
Well I can't disagree that you make some valid points there. It is a tragic shame if things have gone that far, it is a tragic shame that most mothers even of the very young run off to a job (though I honestly can't blame just men for that - the feminist movement is right behind that as well - I can't count how many women have told me "Oh I'd go INSANE staying at home; I NEED a career to fulFILL mySELF" blah blah blah. I don't think it's all just a reaction; it seems this is all interrelated. Women abdicate their roles and men abdicate theirs...but neither is a good thing, surely? Wouldn't it be best if most children could have a mom who could stay home with them comfortably while the husband performed his role as breadwinner and protector for the mother? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Well whatever, it's been interesting talking to you; I may not wholly agree on everything but I appreciate your up-front answers to my queries.<br />
<br />
2:28 AM <br />
<br />
NYMOM said...<br />
<br />
Definitely gender neutral feminists are at fault here. As I have mentioned numerous times, these feminists are the 'mothers' of the fathers rights movement in more ways then one.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
However, now that men and women are both 'equal' in the eyes of the law vis-a-vis children, we cannot continue ignoring the constant custody infighting this has led to, along with the drop in women even having kids. As what woman is going to want to have kids with this possibility hanging over her head??? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I mean think about it yourself. Would you have even had any children if you suspected that you could lose custody of them in a few years time? I've had the opportunity to observe the behavior of a number of young women who were related to a mother who lost custody of her son. NONE of them had any children after that (this was over ten years ago) including the sister of the custodial father. Clearly she had second thoughts about taking this risk herself...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So this situation has a devasting impact far over and above the immediate effect on just the mother involved. It radiates out from her to every other young woman who knows about it. It actually serves as a means of intimidating other young women, which is what infuriates me the most about it. That through their support of gender neutral custody, these feminist jackasses have now handed every man a club effective against every woman, as soon as she choses to become a mother.<br />
<br />
6:45 AM <br />
<br />
Mike, Nicki, and the boys said...<br />
<br />
Found your reply to this article insightful. I found your blog by hopping along after reading a review for "The Broken American Male" on Amazon the review referenced Marty Nemco's essay. I was pretty much in shock and ended up searching for opinions on his article because frankly, I was too stunned at the moment to form a constructive criticism in my brain. Thank you for your writing skills and thank you to all the comments below. You made for great reading! I'm a stay at home mom of 2 boys in Germany right now.<br />
<br />
4:01 PM <br />
<br />
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<br />NYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-83979251053014001762012-06-15T13:12:00.000-04:002012-06-15T13:14:23.430-04:00Study from 2005--Still Relevant<div id="main">
<h2 class="date-header">
</h2>
<h2 class="date-header">
</h2>
This is another oldie but goodie I just came across on my blog from 2005.<br />
<br />
But still relevant, still relevant...<br />
<br />
<h2 class="date-header">
Wednesday, July 29, 2009</h2>
<div class="post">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="6544367431589247265"></a>
<br />
<h3 class="post-title">
Columbia Study for your reviews...
</h3>
<div class="post-body">
<br />
<br />
*********************************************************************************<br />
<br />
<br />
I finally found this study, it took a while since it was
posted all the way back in 2005...I guess time flies when you're
blogging.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I love the spin they put on it: men are
deciding to have fewer children due to higher child support...like men
are the ones who make these decisions. It reminds me of the joke about
how men change a light bulb: they just stand there and wait for the
world to turn around them and twist the bulb in...self-centered...<br />
<br />
Well we finally have a study linking child support enforcement to a lowering of single mother birth rates.<br />
<br />
<b>“Researchers
at the University of Washington and Columbia University said Friday
that child support laws' power to reduce single parenthood is an
unintended consequence of a policy designed to help children and cut
public welfare costs.”<br /><br />Often the unintended effects are bad, so
it's refreshing to see that," said lead study author Robert Plotnick, a
University of Washington professor of public affairs. "Women living in
states that do a better job of enforcing child support are less likely
to become an unwed mother."</b><br />
The really GOOD NEWS is that
this clearly demonstrates that women do NOT have children to get child
support; as the states that collect the MOST child support have
demonstrated a 20% DROP in single motherhood. So if women were having
kids to collect support you would see just the opposite happen with a
20% increase in single mothers to match the child support collected.<br />
<br />
So another urban myth shot down.<br />
<br />
This could be more BAD NEWS for those who hate mothers and like to spread lies about us.<br />
<br />
AND MORE BAD NEWS:<br />
<br />
Additional
research will now be required to ascertain if actual population NUMBERS
in any particular community are being impacted OR if this study's
results just means more mothers getting married now, so no drop in
overall population for any community has occurred. Although somehow I
suspect this drop in numbers of single mothers is mainly translating
into lower population within the African-American community.<br />
<br />
AND one must always suspect any public policy where this is the ultimate outcome.<br />
<br />
Thus the search for truth continues.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Study Ties State Laws, Unwed Child Births </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>By REBECCA COOK, Associated Press Writer </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>Sat
Jun 18, 2005, 1:52 PM ET SEATTLE - Tough child support laws may
dissuade men from becoming unwed fathers, as states with the most
stringent laws and strict enforcement have up to 20 percent fewer
out-of-wedlock births, a new study shows. </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>Researchers
at the University of Washington and Columbia University said Friday
that child support laws' power to reduce single parenthood is an
unintended consequence of a policy designed to help children and cut
public welfare costs.</b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>"Often
the unintended effects are bad, so it's refreshing to see that," said
lead study author Robert Plotnick, a University of Washington professor
of public affairs. "Women living in states that do a better job of
enforcing child support are less likely to become an unwed mother." </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>The
percentage of unmarried births in the United States has increased from
10 percent in the 1960s to about a third of all births today. Because
children of single parents run a higher risk of poverty, academic
failure and other problems, lawmakers are always seeking policies that
will discourage unwed births — usually focusing on the mothers. </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>Researchers
said their study recognizes the father's responsibility. "Decisions
about sexual intercourse and marriage involve two people," said study
co-author Irwin Garfinkel, a Columbia University professor and one of
the nation's top experts on child support. The study, which has not yet
been published, looked at a nationwide sample of 5,195 women of
childbearing age using data from 1980-1993. </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>It
didn't show whether tougher child support laws prevented pregnancies or
encouraged marriage. Plotnick said the data limited the researchers to
observing a strong correlation between tough child support enforcement
and fewer out-of-wedlock births. Whether that's caused by fewer
unmarried people getting pregnant or more couples marrying when the
woman is expecting, he could not say. But he said the findings warrant
further study. </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>"It's been very
hard to find conventional programs that reduce unwed childbearing that
work," Plotnick said Friday. "If you found a program cutting nonmarried
births by 20 percent, you'd be happy." </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>Researchers
noted wide disparities in child support policies. For example, in 2002 —
the most recent year for which data were available — only one state,
New Jersey, collected at least 80 percent of owed child support. </b><br />
<b></b><br />
<br />
<b>According
to Columbia University's National Center for Children in Poverty, 31
states collected 41 percent to 60 percent of child support orders. The
District of Columbia collected less than 20 percent of all child support
owed.</b></div>
<div class="post-footer">
posted by NYMOM | <a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html" title="permanent link">Wednesday, July 29, 2009</a>
</div>
</div>
<div id="comments">
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="comments"></a>
<br />
<h4>
47 Comments:</h4>
<dl id="comments-block">
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1643546010319149500"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1643546010319149500"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Hello NYMOM,<br />
<br />
Well, it seems like you're trying to have
it both ways again: When a social policy that holds men more responsible
reduces the number of unwed births, you argue that the women should get
the credit. However, when a social policy that rewards women for
having taxpayer funded births results in more crime you refuse to blame
the women. <br />
<br />
The statistic of how much CS is collected is
misleading since "child" support orders are disconnected from the actual
cost of raising a child but rather based upon how much the parents'
earn and how many children total the NCP has and are not adjusted
downward automatically if the NCP goes to jail (hence, the reason why DC
men owe so much support: I read a statistic that about half of the men
were, or have been, in prison.)<br />
<br />
The good news is that SOMEONE is responding to the FINANCIAL disincentives provided by the state.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1643546010319149500" title="comment permalink">3:59 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c915619743416951591"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c915619743416951591"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Well one problem is society attempts to blame women everytime
something goes wrong (no matter how powerless she is)...men only appear
to want to take credit when good things happen, but like to blame women
when bad things happen ie., crimes goes up (crimes mainly committed by
men of course) so you blame women for having the babies who grow up to
commit the crimes...</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c915619743416951591" title="comment permalink">4:26 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1930068348707019457"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1930068348707019457"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">NYMOM, if society really worked the way you said then there
would be no welfare in the first place along with massive "child"
support ordered paid by men towards women. We simply wouldn't have a
discussion about such things if women were held accountable rather than
men by society. <br />
<br />
At best, what we have now are WHISPERS.
Whispers, by the way, by women themselves as well as men. Politicians
and mainstream media and public, you'll be happy to know, still blame
men for their crimes not only individually by throwing them in jail, but
also collectively by police and courtroom sentencing and arrest
discounts for women. 80 to 90% of custody decisions going in favor
women isn't all that bad for women as much as you seem to claim. <br />
<br />
Come
on now, we're adults. Do you really believe this claim? That men are
blaming women "everytime"? Or is this a preemptive posture against
MRA's?</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1930068348707019457" title="comment permalink">2:19 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c638766781033694255"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c638766781033694255"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">It's not true any longer that 80% to 90% of custody decisions
go in favor of women. When custody is litigated men frequently win.<br />
<br />
Actually
I read somewhere that all the growth in single parenthood was related
to men receiving custody of children. I don't know how true it is if
40% of births are now to single mothers but I had read this factoid...<br />
<br />
Your
perception is based upon a time when few people litigated custody...now
many do litigate and the figures are slowly but surely turning against
mothers.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c638766781033694255" title="comment permalink">11:18 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7926154461519970521"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7926154461519970521"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">However custody decisions go on paper we at least know that
around 85% of women have their kids with them the majority of the time.
In 2000 for sure. Nobody litigated custody in 2000?<br />
<br />
I don't see much of a crisis for women there.<br />
<br />
Richard</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c7926154461519970521" title="comment permalink">12:00 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5418910481036923510"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5418910481036923510"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">The real 'crisis' started in the late 90s under Clinton's
administration...it probably took a few years to manifest itself, so by
2000 it might not have been obvious what was happening yet. Now it is.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5418910481036923510" title="comment permalink">1:46 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8883482829049107943"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8883482829049107943"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">NYMOM, I asked you (in another thread, or perhaps it got lost)
to clarify what you mean by a crisis. Do you consider more men getting
shared custody of their children a crisis? Also, I would appreciate it
if you could clarify what you mean by "fake" shared custody and how you
consider this bad. If the men only want "shared" custody to get out of
child support, as you claimed, and really just leave the kids with the
mother, then she is still the primary parent of the child. So how is
that so awful if women are motivated by higher, noble causes to raise
children rather than cash checks?<br />
<br />
Regarding more litigation of
custody. Much of it is due to more men seeking, and getting shared
custody for more noble reasons but also much of it is due to greater
financial stakes for both parents. With child-support liens often
costing men close to their take home pay, it's worth it for them to
litigate. So, in a way, the "tide" was turned towards women so much so,
that men felt a need to wake up and challenge the system. <br />
<br />
Quite
simply, NYMOM, men cannot accept a status quo where women get kids and
most of the money and the men become "slaves" or at least indentured
servants with little rights.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8883482829049107943" title="comment permalink">10:06 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c38392690056479833"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c38392690056479833"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">I agree with you Polish Knight that something has to be done
about the too high child support awards which Judges have been hitting
the non-custodial parent with over the last ten years or so. Much of it
is due to the state making 'add-ons' to child support like the cost of
medical insurance and 50% or more of the cost of child care...<br />
<br />
I
consider it a crisis when so many mothers are involuntarily losing
custody of their children...it's one thing if they come to a voluntary
agreement with the father but that's not the case in many of these
cases.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c38392690056479833" title="comment permalink">5:19 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1730647984488986508"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1730647984488986508"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">As I said in another thread, NYMOM, perhaps the definition of a
crisis should be on what happens to the children rather than the
mother's feelings about losing ownership and control of her children?<br />
<br />
Nowhere
in your argument is the best interests of the children mentioned. Your
PRIMARY concern is the "voluntary" desires of the mother. <br />
<br />
It's
a "crisis" when children are raised under financial duress and under
taxpayer largesse or external support from someone who has been given
little motivation other than altruism to pay up. Child-support and
welfare are fundamentally beggar bowls. <br />
<br />
Let me give you a
personal example: during the Agnes flood of 1972, my parents sent me to
live with relatives for two years while they rebuilt. Granted, it was
"voluntary" but it was hardly something they planned or wanted. In
theory, they could have gone on welfare and kept us around but which do
you think would have been better for us? For my parents to live with
us, on welfare in section 8 housing, or to have a reliable support
system in place while they rebuilt (literally) their lives?<br />
<br />
How
do you KNOW that it's not in the best interests of many or even most of
these children to live with their father in these cases? Do you care? <br />
<br />
For
the record, if things don't work out with my wife and it's in the best
interests of the children to stay with her, and we can work out
something reasonable, I'm ok with that. It's not a big deal. I regard
children as people, not property.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1730647984488986508" title="comment permalink">10:33 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c2747721080870445919"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c2747721080870445919"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">Anonymous</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">PK said: "Nowhere in your argument is the best interests of
the children mentioned. Your PRIMARY concern is the "voluntary" desires
of the mother." <br />
<br />
I'm guessing NY will posit that the best
interests of the children usually coincide with the desires of the
mother. Correct me if I'm wrong.<br />
<br />
But of course we've already
discussed at length at least two situations where mothers' desires and
children's interests are worlds apart. One in the case of a
low-conflict divorce, the other where poor women deliberately have
children they can not afford.<br />
<br />
That's not all, but it's a substantial start.<br />
<br />
Richard</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c2747721080870445919" title="comment permalink">6:13 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5194253443134899020"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5194253443134899020"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">I do posit that 99.9% of the time a mother is the person most likely to act in her childrens' best interest...<br />
<br />
There
are some rare cases where this doesn't apply, but for the most part a
mother is the best guardian for any children she bears...<br />
<br />
It
doesn't mean other people can't love the children and play a role in
their lives, but a mother should always be 'first among equal' regarding
her children.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5194253443134899020" title="comment permalink">5:11 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c2260731266521336193"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c2260731266521336193"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"first among equals" is what I should have said...</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c2260731266521336193" title="comment permalink">5:12 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8938987846575325254"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8938987846575325254"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">AND it's not clear to me that divorce in low conflict
marriages is not the correct choice especially with girls. It could
make them emulate their mother's behavior and become a doormat later in
life for some male idiot.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8938987846575325254" title="comment permalink">5:14 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7509628110775940422"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7509628110775940422"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"For the record, if things don't work out with my wife and
it's in the best interests of the children to stay with her, and we can
work out something reasonable, I'm ok with that. It's not a big deal. I
regard children as people, not property."<br />
<br />
What a bunch of crap!
Your first and only interest would be to get out of paying all or most
of your child support. You'd think of those kids as property fast enough
if taking them away from their mother saves YOU some money, and it sure
wouldn't have anything to do with "the best interests of the children".
All your comments throughout this blog attest to that. The fact that
your now trying to paint yourself as some noble, self-sacrificing father
in the case of a divorce is laughable.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c7509628110775940422" title="comment permalink">6:02 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c2532158418110163255"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c2532158418110163255"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">NYMOM claims: "I do posit that 99.9% of the time a mother is the person most likely to act in her childrens' best interest..."<br />
<br />
Great,
NYMOM. So if welfare and child-support was eliminated, it would only
have a 0.1% impact on all children nationwide using that statistic. <br />
<br />
It's
amazing how you take men for granted not just in the subtle ways that
they act as fathers and generic protectors and mentors, but the more
obvious financial requirements that they are so essential for.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c2532158418110163255" title="comment permalink">8:23 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5457443830221933200"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5457443830221933200"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">NYMOM, note that low-conflict often swings both ways.
Literally. I've heard lots of women say they believe that it's
acceptable, even "cute" for women to hit men and to expect not to get
hit back. These women treat their men as doormats.<br />
<br />
But then
again, in increasingly many cases I've noticed that these women remain
unmarried and miserable that there's a shortage of "real men" who are
willing to be punching bags and ATM machines.<br />
<br />
One of the main
purposes of marriage is for two people to pool their resources to better
raise children and help each other. It's the single best way for poor
people to raise their, and their children's, status in society. The
welfare state is a lousy substitute and no matter how much you try to
sweep it under the rug, the welfare state and child-support are
necessary components to mothers' pseudo-independence. Bearing children
into poverty doesn't pay the bills.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5457443830221933200" title="comment permalink">8:28 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1334278409497078442"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1334278409497078442"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Virago claims: "What a bunch of crap! Your first and only
interest would be to get out of paying all or most of your child
support. You'd think of those kids as property fast enough if taking
them away from their mother saves YOU some money, and it sure wouldn't
have anything to do with "the best interests of the children". All your
comments throughout this blog attest to that. The fact that your now
trying to paint yourself as some noble, self-sacrificing father in the
case of a divorce is laughable."<br />
<br />
You can say my language at this
time is insincere, Virago, but at least I'm putting the words out there.
So far, all you women have done here is accuse men of being cheap and
out to save money while using a double standard for women praising them
for getting children and the money at all costs. You are not even
bothering to pretend to not have a double standard. It's out there for
everyone to see.<br />
<br />
And THAT is why society, including many women,
may be slowly developing a negative attitude towards modern motherhood.
Don't blame the messenger.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1334278409497078442" title="comment permalink">8:34 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5014293231014131494"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5014293231014131494"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">It's part of a total package Polish Knight. You can't ignore
thousands of years of men hogging every resource for themselves on the
planet and then turn around and claim women only use men for money.<br />
<br />
Men have laid the groundwork for that...and now they are reaping what they have collectively sown.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5014293231014131494" title="comment permalink">8:46 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1363239331010927491"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1363239331010927491"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">I'm reminded of the Biblical tale of Solomon when he has to
determine the true mother of a child and he orders the child cut in half
and split between them. The real mother offers to give up the child
rather than see the child harmed. She puts the child's best interests
ahead of her own.<br />
<br />
It's been mostly men passing the Solomon test
for years: Giving up not only their children, but their money as well.
Perhaps the courts, and society, are beginning to see the wisdom of
Solomon and recognizing who the real parent willing to take custody of
children, without the money, is. <br />
<br />
Funny thing: I caught the tail
end of "Castle" last night and it was about a detective duo trying to
decode a kidnapping. It turns out the mother kidnapped the child in
order to try to fraudulently collect a ransom so she wouldn't lose
custody and pay child-support to her stay-at-home husband. She shrieked
that she wasn't going to be like a man paying support for a child and
home she doesn't have anymore.<br />
<br />
It's rather difficult for you
ladies to portray women as saints when not only don't you live up to
those standards, you expect only men to.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1363239331010927491" title="comment permalink">8:47 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7255486270239017036"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7255486270239017036"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">NYMOM claims: "You can't ignore thousands of years of men hogging every resource for themselves on the planet[...]"<br />
<br />
PK
responds: Yeah, like the lifeboats on the Titanic. Or diamonds. Men
never shared those with women. Or comfortable homes. Or nice clothing
where women still button on the opposite side of men because of wealthy
women having their servants do it for them.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c7255486270239017036" title="comment permalink">9:43 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1589467188238266586"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1589467188238266586"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">You said it yourself: men work hard to make money to pay for
their 'families' you probably should have inserted women in there and
you would have been closer to the truth.<br />
<br />
You guys invented the game, now you don't like it????</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1589467188238266586" title="comment permalink">1:16 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c3924972278502899552"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c3924972278502899552"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Whether I like it or not isn't the point. I'm observing that men SHARE resources rather than hoard them.<br />
<br />
It's
hardly a "game" we invented, BTW. As Richard points out, the option of
giving birth in the forest, breast feeding the young for 2 years, and
then setting them loose and hoping 1/2 survive is no longer acceptable
for humanity. Most children want silly things like a roof over their
head, indoor plumbing, food besides berries from the forest, etc. and
they need them for 18 years or more.<br />
<br />
Men are the ultimate
technology: like cars that people feel they can't live without, it's
WOMEN who evolved men to be indispensible providers and protectors to
the point that it's best that we run things. It's kind of like this
computer. You don't manage all your letters by hand anymore, do you?
Hell, if I could get my computer to figure out who to vote for, I'd let
it have a go at it.<br />
<br />
Your model for humanity (literally) is for
men to be "committed" breadwinners and providers without rights since
you define a higher humanity by the presence of a womb. As Richard
says, that sounds a lot like slavery. Just replace "womb" with "white
skin".<br />
<br />
The fundamental problem with that paradigm, NYMOM, is that
you need to rely upon the same white male patriarchal protector
providers to impliment it. <br />
<br />
Did you ever see I-Robot?</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c3924972278502899552" title="comment permalink">1:37 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c9172150684179330586"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c9172150684179330586"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"You can say my language at this time is insincere, Virago,
but at least I'm putting the words out there. So far, all you women have
done here is accuse men of being cheap and out to save money while
using a double standard for women praising them for getting children and
the money at all costs. You are not even bothering to pretend to not
have a double standard. It's out there for everyone to see."<br />
<br />
That's
because THERE ISN'T A DOUBLE STANDARD. Women get custody because MEN
DON'T WANT IT unless their some kind of financial motivation for them.
That's it. Plain and simple.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c9172150684179330586" title="comment permalink">1:59 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c4070848139505412160"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c4070848139505412160"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Even NYMOM agrees that plenty of men get custody because the
mother doesn't want the kids or the father has legitimate concerns about
her stability. I personally know a single father who raised his kids
for a decade, without a dime of support, and even helped his ex-wife get
her life back together. They remarried last spring.<br />
<br />
The double
standard, Virago, is you arguing that men are motivated by trying to
save money by keeping their children while ignoring the fact that women
often are getting money by keeping them. In order to prove your case,
you'd have to have most custodial mothers give up their welfare and
child-support to show their commitment. Oh, wait, we both know that
will never happen. Snicker.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c4070848139505412160" title="comment permalink">2:07 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1108142449426232859"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1108142449426232859"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">It will never happen because men don't want it to happen since it takes away the ONLY LEVERAGE you have over women...<br />
<br />
Many rich and famous mothers lose custody. Brittany Spears certainly didn't need Kevin Federline to support her kids...<br />
<br />
AND
it's not legal to refuse child support, that legally belongs to the
child, so a mother can't refuse it (not legally anyway) even if she
wants to sign it away.<br />
<br />
Men have worked the legal system (under
the pretense of the best interest of the child) to trap women by holding
their kids as hostages for their good behavior.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1108142449426232859" title="comment permalink">5:17 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8970516428087798502"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8970516428087798502"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">It's no double standard that Virago argues since it's women
using a system created by men...where they can't even walk away from
it...they could probably get charged with neglect for giving a kid a
lower standard of living or something...<br />
<br />
Actually I consider the growing number of abductions by mothers to be women walking away from the money...</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8970516428087798502" title="comment permalink">5:20 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7530979525231754528"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7530979525231754528"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"The double standard, Virago, is you arguing that men are
motivated by trying to save money by keeping their children while
ignoring the fact that women often are getting money by keeping them."<br />
<br />
And
your ignoring the FACT that women are PRIMARILY responsible for the
care of their children. As the PRIMARY CAREGIVER, women are usually the
ones who have to take off of work for a sick kid, or take a kid to the
pediatrician. Women are usually the ones who have to turn down higher
paying promotions with longer hours because THEY HAVE FAMILY
RESPONSIBILITIES. Women are usually the ones who have to stick to lower
paying flexible jobs that make it easier to take care of their kids.
Women are usually the ones who end up giving up their jobs to stay home
because the lack of AFFORDABLE QUALITY DAYCARE makes it harder to
continue working. Do you think that children just bathe, dress, feed,
and toilet train themselves, and take themselves to the doctor? I've got
new for you: CHILDREN NEED CARE, AND THAT CARE IS USUALLY PROVIDED BY
THEIR MOTHERS. Why do you think that men have a higher earning potential
both before and after divorce? BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVE THE PRIMARY
CARE OF THEIR OWN CHILDREN. Women give up all or most of their earnings
during a marriage to make sure the kids are well taken care of, AND they
make it possible for MEN to continue EXPANDING his earning potential so
that HE doesn't have to give up his OWN INCOME POTENTIAL. MOTHERS put
the most time and effort raising their children during the marriage.
They already have an ESTABLISHED TRACK RECORD of taking care of their
children. MOTHERS have more than demonstrated DURING THE MARRIAGE that
being in their custody post divorce is in their children's best
interest. And any MONEY that a woman gets from her husband in a divorce
is COMPENSATION for all the FINANCIAL SACRIFICES that SHE made DURING
THE MARRIAGE by making sure that THEIR CHILDREN WERE WELL TAKEN CARE OF.
And child support is something different all together. The average
child support award doesn't even cover a third of the cost of raising a
child. Child support is COMPENSATION for money that THE MOTHER has
already spent IN RAISING THE CHILD. The CUSTODIAL PARENT always ends up
spending more money just by having the kids in the same household. So,
when I hear stupid men bitching about wanting custody to save themselves
money I could just laugh because their only buying into some stupid
myth put out there by the MRA/FRA crowd. And the poor kids end up
suffering because dad spends thousand of dollars fighting for custody
ONLY TO DUMP THE KIDS ON A GIRLFRIEND OR SECOND WIFE AS THEIR PRIMARY
CAREGIVER WHEN THEY COULD'VE HAD THEIR OWN MOTHERS. sO, Polish Knight,
the only double standard is BENEFIT THE MEN. Women sacrifice the most
for their children financially both before and after the divorce, but
it's the children who pay the ultimate price BECAUSE DAD IS A SELFISH
JERK. That's it. In a nutshell. And that's all I'm going to discuss on
this issue because it's been done to death all throughout this blog. The
problem isn't me ignoring a double standard THAT DOESN'T EXIST. The
problem is that you are again trying to PROJECT your FEELINGS on to me.
It's gets old REAL FAST.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c7530979525231754528" title="comment permalink">6:03 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5909755439215124746"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5909755439215124746"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"Actually I consider the growing number of abductions by mothers to be women walking away from the money..."<br />
<br />
And
is it any wonder? I had a friend who just recently gave birth after 22
hours of labor (via c-section), and 4 months of chronic morning sickness
followed by 3 months of bedrest for high blood pressure. The babies
recreational sperm donor shows up at the hospital (after ignoring the
mother the entire time she was pregnant) demanding to be let in to see
"his child" being born , and he had the nerve to ask my friend to let
him have primary physical custody when the baby is ready to leave the
hospital. The baby was premature with pneumonia so he was in the
hospital for several weeks while my friend was there every day pumping
breastmilk to feed him through a tube. But "dad" wants custody even
though he barely saw the baby during that time. Now he's taking her to
court. He even wants to force her to give the baby HIS LAST NAME because
the baby is a boy, and he wants someone to carry on his family name.
She has yet to go to court, but to throw this at her when she's under so
much pain and stress from the labor and the condition of HER SON just
shows what a worthless ass he is. My friend isn't running away (yet).
but I sure wouldn't blame her if she did.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5909755439215124746" title="comment permalink">6:22 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1334998877391859874"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1334998877391859874"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Yes and she's very lucky since if she was not ready for
release from the hospital and the baby was, the recreational sperm donor
could have taken him right from the hospital...then once he received
the birth certificate (that takes a few weeks so it might slow him down a
little) he could have filed for temporary custody for himself...she
would have lost her child even before she got out of her hospital bed.<br />
<br />
I've
heard numerous story like this, numerous ones from mothers who this has
happened to...actually once the birth certificate is in a recreational
sperm donor's hands legally he can go down and file for temporary
custody...very common ploy...<br />
<br />
That's why I say young mothers
havae to be extremely careful that some misfit doesn't kidnap their kid
before they even leave the hospital. <br />
<br />
I won't say it's common, but it happens often enough that mothers have to be aware of the possibility.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1334998877391859874" title="comment permalink">8:29 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7091537466491212065"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7091537466491212065"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"I've heard numerous story like this, numerous ones from
mothers who this has happened to...actually once the birth certificate
is in a recreational sperm donor's hands legally he can go down and file
for temporary custody...very common ploy..."<br />
<br />
Yeah, well my
friend isn't totally clueless. She deliberately left the name of the
father blank on the birth certificate so he has to have a court order to
amend that, and that means a dna test. He's pissed off because he isn't
disputing that he is the biological father. They both know he is, but
it certainly bumped the court day to a later date pending the results (a
good 6 weeks). This gives her time to find a good lawyer.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c7091537466491212065" title="comment permalink">10:12 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8315280030915790356"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8315280030915790356"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Hahahaha! Good going Virago! Do hear that, NYMOM, Virago has
agreed that the PRIMARY parent, as defined by her as the person
spending the most time with the kid, should get custody and not the
mother. She used a nice gender-neutral term that could apply, say, to
an unemployed husband whose been at home dropping the kid off at daycare
and warming up TV dinners while the career woman goes to work and has
fun working 12 hours a day paying the bills. Welcome to the world of
men, sweetheart! Teehee!<br />
<br />
In addition, such a man would be
entitled to compensation for his "sacrifice" for staying at home while
she enjoyed the benefit of his "free" labor. Pay up honey! :-) <br />
<br />
It's hilarious that when there are cases where the shoe is on the other foot, the women cry foul and "unfair!" <br />
<br />
For
the record, Virago, there is AFFORDABLE quality daycare available. You
gals just have to pay for it. You sure do expect men to do so in the
form of risking custody of their children or paying alimony. Yes? Oh,
wait, but that would require her spending HER money on her children.
Eeeek! Yep, it's amazing that when a woman is paying SOMEONE ELSE to
look after her kids, she starts cutting corners. It amazes me,
honestly, that there are millions of American women paying illegal
immigrants, who have no ID and could run off to Mexico with their kids
in a heartbeat, below market wages and then turn around and gripe that
they deserve credit for a sacrifice. Wow!<br />
<br />
In answer to your
whine that women wind up giving up their lower paying careers to help
the man earn mo' money, nothing stops them from marrying poorer guys and
having him do all that work. Oh, wait, then she'd have to put up the
money. <br />
<br />
Women today who are able to get a gig that women in the
1950's took for granted: Marry up in income, quit her hobby job when it
suits her, and run to the judge to rescue her from the oppression of
doing what she wanted... are finding it harder to get men to agree or
able to live up to this deal. <br />
<br />
But don't worry! After Obama and
McCain get done giving all the money away to rich white male bankers,
I'm sure they'll have some left over to give for single women to have
the state pay all the childcare bills. Tee hee. Good luck with that!</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8315280030915790356" title="comment permalink">10:27 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c2897094982411245795"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c2897094982411245795"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Virago, you had claimed previously that my only reason for
wanting custody of my children (and presumably most men's as well) was
to get out of paying child-support.<br />
<br />
Yet now you're claiming that a father is seeking custody when he isn't liable for any support? <br />
<br />
The
way you tell the tale, the guy sounds like a jerk but, of course, we
just have one side of the story. One observation: Richard and I found
good women. I had bad girlfriends in my life but I quickly identified
them as such and moved on. <br />
<br />
If you gals don't like bad boys, why
do you keep having children for them? If you're equal and want them
out of your lives, why do you so often demand the state track them down
to keep them involved to pay "child" support?<br />
<br />
Those questions are self-answering, aren't they? <br />
<br />
No
doubt you say a lot of bad things about me, especially considering how
you disagree with my opinions, but one fact is indisputable: I would
travel halfway around the world for the woman I love. You gals can
barely drag yourselves to the local McBar. Being a good parent starts
with the work in finding and choosing and getting along with the
co-parent.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c2897094982411245795" title="comment permalink">11:38 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5879278093663212771"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5879278093663212771"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Polish Knight:<br />
<br />
As usual your talking out of your ass
about things you know nothing about, and reading your comments is like
Groundhog's Day when Bill Murray's character lived the same day over and
over again. It's the same old shit over and over throughout this thread
and the entire blog. Frankly, you bore me. It puzzles me why a middle
aged man with no kids and no prospects for a decent relationship outside
his wallet or a desperate woman from the Ukraine spends so much time on
a blog for MOTHERS. After all, I can relate to this blog personally.
It's like your so desperate for the attention of a woman-any woman (even
an anonymous woman on the internet)- that your willing to make yourself
look like a total ass just to convince me that your some kind of
studmuffin (and you've spent a lot of time doing just that). It would
almost be sad if it wasn't so creepy.<br />
<br />
"No doubt you say a lot of
bad things about me, especially considering how you disagree with my
opinions, but one fact is indisputable: I would travel halfway around
the world for the woman I love."<br />
<br />
OH, bullshit! You couldn't make
it in a relationship with any American woman because they wouldn't kiss
your ass, and that forced you to seek out some desperate woman from the
Ukraine where the men are so mysoganist, they even make you look good.
And that's desperation right there.<br />
<br />
"You gals can barely drag
yourselves to the local McBar. Being a good parent starts with the work
in finding and choosing and getting along with the co-parent."<br />
<br />
And
I guarantee that your not capable of geting along with anyone enough to
"co-parent". You blame all of your relationship failures on American
women instead of looking at what a poor example of a man you really are.
You look at some woman from the Ukraine as YOUR ULTIMATE FANTASY, but
in the end, she's going to see what kind of a turd you really are, and
she's going to leave you. Your going to do anything possible to keep her
with you even if it means threatening her with deportation and loss of
custody of her kids. Hopefully, she walks out on you before you even
have any. You can lie to your wife all you want, but your comments on
this blog speak loud and clear about what your agenda really is and will
be if she tries to divorce you. I really feel sorry for her. She's in a
terrible situation, and sooner or later, she's going to find that out
if she hasn't already. Your disgusting.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5879278093663212771" title="comment permalink">1:25 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8237077552057525951"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8237077552057525951"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Here's another great example of NYMOM saying that responding
to these personal taunts from you would be a distraction. You say this
is a forum about mothers, but you obsess over my personal life and how
much it "bores" you. I hope that the following will be relevent:<br />
<br />
The
key point I made here is this: I, a middle aged man, went out and found
my "fantasy" mate and I'm happy. Yet here you and your buddies are
living here, where you claim the women are empowered to say no to jerks
like me, yet you and your friends can't find a decent mate even in the
prime years of your lives. Results speak louder than words,
Kimberly/Virago.<br />
<br />
Your last paragraph is a perfect example of
projection: Rather than address the shortcomings in your personal life
as a woman and ultimately mother, you instead just hope that my
relationship fails in order to validate or cover up your own failures.
You then accuse me of blaming American women for a failure that is now
moot even as you do nothing but blame men and stew in your misery.<br />
<br />
Is
this the kind of behavior that makes for a great parent (mother or
father?) And how do you think children react to a parent whose out for
control and constantly worried about someone upstaging their
self-important role as mommy dearest? <br />
<br />
For me, becoming a parent
is about a tremendous responsibility that terrifies me but also
intrigues me as a challenge to be a better person and to develop a
relationship with a person who will literally be a part of me and my
wife. I find that exciting. The LAST thing I care about is getting a
"Father of the year" award or playing power games. My wife has access
to EVERYTHING. I trust her, completely. She's rather shocked by that.
She says that from what she has heard from people here in the states
about how the system treats men, that it wouldn't have surprised her if I
asked for a prenup. But I know she's not only good hearted, but smart
enough to know that it suits her, and her future children, to keep me
around. <br />
<br />
It wasn't an arrangement I offered to American women
such as you. And your behavior here is a perfect reason why. Good luck
at the sperm bank.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8237077552057525951" title="comment permalink">2:30 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5487375384117525826"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5487375384117525826"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"My wife has access to EVERYTHING. She's rather shocked by that."<br />
<br />
She has YOU. She has nothing. <br />
<br />
"Is
this the kind of behavior that makes for a great parent (mother or
father?) And how do you think children react to a parent whose out for
control and constantly worried about someone upstaging their
self-important role as mommy dearest?"<br />
<br />
Well, let's see. I'll ask
my 3 children. I kicked their father out and divorced him for acting
like such an irresponsible jerk. I wasn't going to put up with a man who
brought home a paycheck but liked to go out with the boys all the time
and thought he should be able to buy a big screen TV (among other crap)
when we had bills to pay and kids to feed. We lived apart for 18 months,
and we reconciled a few years ago. I took him back, but I made it
absolutely crystal clear that if he didn't shape up, I won't hesitate to
kick his ass out again. We've lived together ever since, and our
relationship is better than it was before the divorce. No, my kids don't
have ANY complaints because it MY BEHAVIOR that changed the situation
for the better. My kids have a much better life, and it wouldn't have
happened if I didn't TAKE CONTROL. And earlier tonight, my kids were
having a pillow fight with their dad before bed. NO, my kids don't have
ANY complaints at all. And I don't either especially after the kids were
sleeping, and their father and I had our own "pillow fight". So, yeah,
Polish Knight, I'll gladly stew in my own "misery". BWwhhaaaaaaa!<br />
<br />
"For
me, becoming a parent is about a tremendous responsibility that
terrifies me but also intrigues me as a challenge to be a better person
and to develop a relationship with a person who will literally be a part
of me and my wife."<br />
<br />
And a part of all those hookers your going
to have "initiate" your kid if you have a boy. Plus, your probably going
to sit him down and tell him all about how all those evil women are
going to mistreat him turning him into a mysoganist pig who can't have a
decent relationship with a woman for fear he might be turned down for
the loser he is rather than face up to his own shortcomings just like
your old man did to you."<br />
<br />
"She says that from what she has heard
from people here in the states about how the system treats men, that it
wouldn't have surprised her if I asked for a prenup. But I know she's
not only good hearted, but smart enough to know that it suits her, and
her future children, to keep me around."<br />
<br />
OH, bullshit! The
"people" who told her how bad men have it is YOU. Polish Knight
whining," OH, honey, you make me feel like a REAL MAN because none of
those American women could stand me! Wah! And in the meantime, I'll
throw all this bling at you so that you stay with me while I take our
future son to a prostitute-oh shit! I wasn't suppose to tell you
that!-anyway, honey, I love you because your so desperate from all that
poverty in the Ukraine to put up with me-I mean "traditional". Just
don't develope any self-esteem like those American women because you
probably won't want me! WAh!" LOL<br />
<br />
"It wasn't an arrangement I offered to American women such as you."<br />
<br />
OH, thank God! American women are safe at least until the Ukrainian chick dumps him!<br />
<br />
" And your behavior here is a perfect reason why." <br />
<br />
OMG,
Polish Knight doesn't like my behavior! I'm so upset! Now I'll never
catch such a fine specimen of masculinity like Polish Knight! Wah!<br />
<br />
"Good luck at the sperm bank."<br />
<br />
After 3 kids? Fuck no. Thanks, but no thanks.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5487375384117525826" title="comment permalink">4:12 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c1222697593884986229"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c1222697593884986229"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">It's funny, Virago, that your story is similar to what my
friend who lives in Philadelphia experienced: His wife, the MOTHER of
the children, went out with her girlfriends and drank heavily and drove.
<br />
<br />
He started trying to lay down the law and she balked and when
he even mentioned the D word (divorce), she pre-emptively struck with
serving him with divorce papers. HOWEVER, since she had blown all of
her own money drinking and he had prepared his own seperate accounts,
she had to make a fair settlement (more than fair for her actually) and
settle for joint custody. She got something like $50 a month in "child"
support and now she's lost she's even that since he had to take a pay
cut during the recession. (I have to check, this is recent. She will
probably have to pay him support.) <br />
<br />
She then cleaned up her act a
little, cut back on the drinking, and realized that he wasn't so
worthless after all when she had to pay thousands of dollars to fix
windows on her home that previously were fixed by him for free. She
offered to reconcile and he declined. He told me that the reason for
declining the reconcilation was that she only appeared to repent when
she realized she couldn't get away with gaming the system and he didn't
trust her.<br />
<br />
Later on, his eldest daughter was angry at him for
getting divorced and he showed her the papers that proved that she
served them on him. He says that made a major impact in her attitude.<br />
<br />
For
the record, I posted this story months ago here so I'm not making it up
in retort to yours lest you think I might be so inclined.<br />
<br />
And
yes, in a way, you do sound miserable in that you don't seem to respect
your husband. You talk about my wife being powerless yet you keep your
husband on a very short leash, yes? Regarding me teaching sons to
distrust "evil women" as you put it, you seem to be teaching any sons
you have "caveat emptor" or "buyer beware". If they grow up to be
strong and accomplished, that just means more stuff for the courts to
take away to give to the woman, right? It's no wonder that so many men
wind up as slackers. They're in damned if they do or don't situations!<br />
<br />
Regarding
bling: You freaked out over your husband getting a big screen TV,
remember? I at least let my wife have bling. And her opinion about
American women is based upon her own observations at work and how
American women treat her. She sees the condensating attitude of these
women towards her and her culture that she regards you as vulgar and
ignorant. FYI, if you need advice on how to not appear frumpy and
poorly dressed, she can give you tips on how to turn the heads of
succesful men rather than gripe about big screen tv's...<br />
<br />
Regarding
your claims of being so happy to be safe from the likes of me... yeah,
right. You want to protect such women, who are adults, from marrying
the likes of me for their own protection. Yeah, right. Like US
automakers wanted to "protect" Japanese autoworkers by getting tariffs
against their cars for decades. <br />
<br />
FYI: My wife loves our big screen TV and DVR. You don't know what you're missing!</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c1222697593884986229" title="comment permalink">3:19 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c953996481423934022"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c953996481423934022"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"FYI: My wife loves our big screen TV and DVR. You don't know what you're missing!"<br />
<br />
Yeah, but she has to fuck YOU to get it! The thought makes me heave!<br />
LOL.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c953996481423934022" title="comment permalink">8:40 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c6460951666348010515"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c6460951666348010515"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Not all women find the notion of having to have sex with their husband distasteful, Virago.<br />
<br />
On
the contrary, your emotionally and financially neutered husband is
quite a catch. He doesn't dare raise his voice to you lest you give him
the boot. I'm sure other women are jealous of a man like that.<br />
<br />
FYI:
It's not just the big screen TV's. It's also BBQ's in the park,
flowers for all occasions, fixing up things around the house, and
listening to her problems and exciting things that happened during her
day. Some of those things I do because I want to, and some I do because
I love her. But I don't do any of them because I'm afraid not to or
because I HAVE to.<br />
<br />
You wouldn't understand.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c6460951666348010515" title="comment permalink">9:35 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c2369543490799360919"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c2369543490799360919"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Not all women find the notion of having to have sex with their husband distasteful, Virago.<br />
<br />
On
the contrary, your emotionally and financially neutered husband is
quite a catch. He doesn't dare raise his voice to you lest you give him
the boot. I'm sure other women are jealous of a man like that.<br />
<br />
FYI:
It's not just the big screen TV's. It's also BBQ's in the park,
flowers for all occasions, fixing up things around the house, and
listening to her problems and exciting things that happened during her
day. Some of those things I do because I want to, and some I do because
I love her. But I don't do any of them because I'm afraid not to or
because I HAVE to.<br />
<br />
You wouldn't understand.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c2369543490799360919" title="comment permalink">9:36 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c5083281999294995942"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c5083281999294995942"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"You wouldn't understand"<br />
<br />
Actually, Polish Knight, I do
because my husband does those things all the time. And he does
housework and helps take care of the kids. And most important, he
CHANGED BEHAVIOR THAT WAS MOST DISRUPTIVE TO OUR MARRIAGE. Does that
mean that I didn't? No, there were things about me that would've made me
run the other way. The point is that we went to counseling-something he
wouldn't even consider before the divorce. After 18 months of living
apart, he agreed to go and it was the best thing ever. You might think
he's a "financially neutered husband", but you also forget-I HAVE THREE
KIDS. It does cost money to raise those kids, and a big screen TV wasn't
going to come before them. I didn't neuter him. He grew up and realized
that IT WASN'T ALL ABOUT HIM. Anyway, I'm sick of these insults.
They're actually pretty childish on both our parts. Maybe I don't really
have the right to assume ANYTHING about your relationship with your
wife because I DON'T KNOW YOU. Actually, I hope that your marriage is as
good as you say it is because divorce sucks for everyone, but I really
hope that you treat your wife as good as you say you do, and aren't
setting her up for some kind of emotional or physical abuse later on
when you realize she's not some stereotyped traditional foreign woman
like these mail order bride services like to hype up. Yes, I know.
Match.com isn't exactly a mail order bride service, but your comments
aren't much different from the ones those guys say in that article.
That's why I can't help being suspicious. OTOH, I really don't know what
goes on in your marriage. For all I know, your wife may have you as
neutered as you say I have my husband. Maybe that's why your on this
blog. So you can vent and say things about women that you don't dare say
to your wife. Just kidding. Seriously, if you have kids, your going to
find out exactly what I'm talking about. Kids cost money, and your bills
are going to double. Anyway, I'm sick of shit. Good-bye and good luck
with your wife. I have my doubts about your relationship, but I actually
hope that I'm wrong.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c5083281999294995942" title="comment permalink">2:15 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8505267105000257371"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8505267105000257371"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16740194441387995674" rel="nofollow">PolishKnight</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Virago, you had the kids but he had to pay for them. You like
being in control and hey, I can appreciate that. I encountered lots of
American women that liked to demand I pay for luxuries such as diamonds
or fancy cars and it "being about them" but I wouldn't have had the
option to kick them to the curb to teach them a lesson.<br />
<br />
One of
the things I'm most proud of about my relationship with my wife is how
direct and honest we are with each other. It's a Slavic thing. My wife
gives to me as good as she gets. We live a life that's free of the
materialistic rat-race expectations most Americans live by. We have a
small apartment that's served us well and our future plans include
staying there. (We discussed getting a bigger place but she felt that
since she wants the baby with her everywhere she goes anyway, why bother
getting a seperate room for the first year?)<br />
<br />
We regularly shop
at Ross and Marshalls and even good will and find lots of bargains. She
was shocked when she heard of some people spending $500 for a pram. In
addition, we don't plan to blow tons of money on overrated American
universities. We can send our children overseas for a fraction of the
cost and have them come back better mannered as a bonus. (Nearly every
university student in Eastern Europe knows how to play a musical
instrument, paint, etc.) <br />
<br />
For me, going back to my Slavic roots
wasn't about finding a wife initially. Unlike the men in the article,
as I said, I learned Polish and the customs. I have friends in 5
different countries I have visited. By traveling, I'm not a fish in
water not knowing what drives me but rather have options most native
Americans lack. <br />
<br />
Thanks for your kind sentiments. 'night.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8505267105000257371" title="comment permalink">12:40 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8772757230058090628"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8772757230058090628"></a>
<span class="comment-icon anon-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Anonymous" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/anon16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <span class="anon-comment-author">virago</span> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">"Thanks for your kind sentiments. 'night"<br />
<br />
Your welcome! Have a nice day!</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8772757230058090628" title="comment permalink">10:15 AM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c4753430775685491458"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c4753430775685491458"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Well thank god that's over...</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c4753430775685491458" title="comment permalink">1:02 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c8447436433081937759"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c8447436433081937759"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Just to let everyone know I'm having a few problems (again)
accessing the blog regularly since I 'upgraded' my computer and
telephone and now I presumably can go online through my phone.
Unfortunately the screen is so small that I can hardly see it and now
I've gotten rid of my verizon account for this wireless phone...<br />
<br />
Anyway
I'm working on figuring out a way (w/o paying too much) to get back
online via my computer again...so the struggle with technology
continues...</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c8447436433081937759" title="comment permalink">1:10 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c3704455750391731830"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c3704455750391731830"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Just to let everyone know I'm locked into a two-year contract
so any suggestions can include the option of getting rid of my cell and
going back to my old phone/computer service.</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c3704455750391731830" title="comment permalink">1:12 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c7084675878900229965"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c7084675878900229965"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749" rel="nofollow">NYMOM</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">I meant CAN'T INCLUDE</dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c7084675878900229965" title="comment permalink">1:13 PM</a>
</dd>
<dt class="comment-poster" id="c3857982310808867692"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=8740475" name="c3857982310808867692"></a>
<span class="comment-icon blogger-comment-icon" style="line-height: 16px;"><img alt="Blogger" src="http://img2.blogblog.com/img/b16-rounded.gif" style="display: inline;" /></span> <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/17811643324748313696" rel="nofollow">marry</a> said...
</dt>
<dd class="comment-body">Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!<br />
_____________________________<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.ukdissertation.co.uk/resource_center.htm" rel="nofollow">Students Resource</a></dd><dd class="comment-timestamp"><a href="http://womenasmothers.blogspot.com/2009/07/well-we-finally-have-study-linking.html#c3857982310808867692" title="comment permalink">4:57 AM</a>
</dd></dl>
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