tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post116146714696727236..comments2023-07-28T07:44:40.802-04:00Comments on Women as Mothers: I Decided to Put Up This Old, but Interesting PostNYMOMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comBlogger22125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1162859409398716212006-11-06T19:30:00.000-05:002006-11-06T19:30:00.000-05:00"Anyone got a link to a clip of this..."Well spend..."Anyone got a link to a clip of this..."<BR/><BR/>Well spend your own dime calling C-Span and I'm sure they'll be happy to supply you with the tape of the event.<BR/><BR/>I'm certainly not going out of my way to provide it for you.NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1162859249870173852006-11-06T19:27:00.000-05:002006-11-06T19:27:00.000-05:00"...your column initially addressed fatherhood pro..."...your column initially addressed fatherhood programs..."<BR/><BR/>Yes, I'm trying to point out to people that these programs are not what they appear and shouldn't be supported.<BR/><BR/>"...It's nice these daddies are being educated..."<BR/><BR/>I actually don't see that at all. <BR/><BR/>Basically these fatherhood programs appear to focus on the rights of fathers and incite these men to go to court and try to wrestle custody of these babies away from their mothers. Generally they juice these men up by citing statistical lies about how horrible single mothers are to their kids. As you and I both know most of these statistics are totally distorted so I try to discourage people from veering off into which parent is more abusive everytime we try to discuss these situations.<BR/><BR/>As most parents aren't abusive (male or female) so we need to establish that we are talking about normal people here for the most part... <BR/><BR/>"...the grandparents formallly adopted the child...it keeps them from getting any financial support from her old boyfriend..."<BR/><BR/>AND hopefully limits his contact with that poor kid as well...<BR/><BR/>I don't know why the courts think that some recreational sperm donor should be entitled to legal rights to children spawned from their careless sexcapades.<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry but I simply don't think that never married fathers of any age should have legal rights. AND to clarify I don't care if they are the male equivalent of Mary Poppins...mothers should still be first amongst equals in these situations (unless abuse or neglect is involved)...Men have and should still continue to get rights to children through marriage and those who wish to procreate outside of marriage take the risk they'll have no rights. <BR/><BR/>It's pretty simple to me. <BR/><BR/>I mean why should men bother marrying the mothers of these children if they can get the exact same legal rights (but none of the reponsibility pre-DNA testing of the child after birth) as the guys who do marry????<BR/><BR/>It doesn't make any sense...<BR/><BR/>I wouldn't marry someone either if I thought I had to be held responsible for their medical care, any of their credit card debit or other bills wracked up during a pregnancy. Especially if I know they won't be able to work soon due to the condition...<BR/><BR/>I would just wait (while the taxpayers or her family footed the bill for the whole thing) and then show up 5 minutes after the birth when the clock stops ticking for pregnancy-related expenses...<BR/><BR/>People who made the public policy decisions regarding this obviously weren't thinking too clearly...NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1162852998878894452006-11-06T17:43:00.000-05:002006-11-06T17:43:00.000-05:00He brazenly stated that single fathers performed b...<I>He brazenly stated that single fathers performed better then their female counterparts (single mothers) in 20 something different categories.* He blamed single mothers, as well as female teachers, for the fact that boys entered into gangs, claiming they were looking for the ‘male presence in the family’ they missed out on in their home life; very conveniently forgetting to mention the male presence who abandoned those families in the first place, thus making young men susceptible to the call of the wild, so to speak.</I><BR/><BR/>Sounds like a brilliant man and a GREAT episode! I <A HREF="http://byrdeye.blogspot.com/2006/11/do-kids-need-fathers.html" REL="nofollow">wholeheartedly agree!!</A> Anyone got a link to a clip of this?G Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10881813741948255884noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1162127974690148112006-10-29T08:19:00.000-05:002006-10-29T08:19:00.000-05:00However, your column initially addressed fatherhoo...However, your column initially addressed fatherhood programs, which tend to work with young, unmarried fathers, usually of low income. Statistically, the group with the HIGHEST likelihood of physically abusing a child re shaken baby syndrome and the like. It's nice these "daddies" are being educated, but really, 17-year-old guys do not make good babysitters and are not ready for parenthood, no matter what book learning you try to stuff in their heads. And encouraging young girls and their parents to "hand over" helpless babies to these guys is a recipe for disaster.<BR/><BR/>Even in this county, I have heard in a "best" scenario of a teen father who simply plopped the kid and the car seat in the backseat while he went out drinking with his buddies. Not a thing anybody could do about it. This is the quality time with dad that we need? Not till he grows up, please. And the child would possibly benefit from a father's influence. There is no evidence that "intimate" contact with a father is really that important in infancy anyway. Consistent care from a caretaker is. Not indifference. Not being ignored while Daddy is cracking open cold ones with his buds. When Mom can't be with the child, s/he needs to be in the care of the loving (and presumably more mature) grandparents or a trusted aunt. <BR/><BR/><BR/>I know someone whose teenage daughter had a child. In order to avoid these kids of problems, the grandparents formally adopted the child. The daughter still functions as the mother. It keeps them from getting any financial support from her old boyfriend. But it also spares this darling little boy from having to hang out with a useless and irresponsible guy (an adult btw) who impregnated a teenage girl. (Why they let her date an adult male is another story...it was a disaster waiting to happen and I knew from the start, but they didn't see it. Anyway, at least they are acting responsibly now.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161857208856721682006-10-26T06:06:00.000-04:002006-10-26T06:06:00.000-04:00Well it doesn't matter if there is anything of the...Well it doesn't matter if there is anything of the sort in America as Canada is as American as apple pie. <BR/><BR/>Okay.<BR/><BR/>They are practically an extension of the US, although they refuse to admit it.<BR/><BR/>Plus the bigger issue is that we are not in a contest to see who abuses children more, men or women. As few parents, either men or women, abuse children. This blog really tries to address the issue of ordinary mothers, not abusive ones. Although I will, once in a while, post an article referencing abuse mostly to refute the anti-mothers propaganda floating around today.<BR/><BR/>The issue I try to focus this blog on is ordinary mothers...ordinary...not the extreme cases...NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161805458423007532006-10-25T15:44:00.000-04:002006-10-25T15:44:00.000-04:00The citation for the Canadian study: Shaken baby s...The citation for the Canadian study: Shaken baby syndrome in Canada: clinical characteristics and outcomes of hospital cases. W. James King et al. Canadian Medical Journal 2003 January 21; 168 (2) 155-159. Looks at cases from 11 pediatric tertiary care hospitals over a period of several years.<BR/><BR/>It's on the net.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161804345370081642006-10-25T15:25:00.000-04:002006-10-25T15:25:00.000-04:00Yes, as a matter of fact.www.dontshake.comIn 1994,...Yes, as a matter of fact.<BR/><BR/>www.dontshake.com<BR/><BR/>In 1994, the Child Abuse Prevention Center in Ogden, Utah conducted a research study to compile information about documented cases of shaken baby syndrome. The study found that 79% of the perpetrators in shaken baby syndrome are male, most of whom are the biological father of the victim (Child Abuse Prevention Center (CAPC), 1994).<BR/> <BR/>More studies are listed at this website. Google shaken baby syndrome father to find more studies. The numbers will differ slightly as you will expect to find in any array of studies, but all find that men are the majority of perpetrators. Most of these men are fathers or boyfriends. The studies don't always clearly differentiate which. But when they do, biological fathers come out as the predominant perpetrators. <BR/><BR/>That's one reason father education is heavily targeted in prevention programs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161799004819185452006-10-25T13:56:00.000-04:002006-10-25T13:56:00.000-04:00Anything of the sort in America?I would have to se...Anything of the sort in America?<BR/>I would have to see at least three, not one. If I can see or find three then I'll compile an average and I will be a believer in that, until then I don't buy it.BloggerNogginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12503834520903753530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161783097868510802006-10-25T09:31:00.000-04:002006-10-25T09:31:00.000-04:00Sorry, the 80% male figure for shaken baby perpetr...Sorry, the 80% male figure for shaken baby perpetrators is correct. According to one Canadian study cited at www.keepkidshealthy.com, 50% of the perpetrators were biological fathers, 20% were stepfathers or boyfriends of the mother. Only 12% of the perpetrators were biological mothers. The rest were caretakers of various sorts. <BR/><BR/>Other studies I have seen have found similar results. However, it's hard to find as the numbers are frequently buried under "biological parents" and so forth.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161730027278595542006-10-24T18:47:00.000-04:002006-10-24T18:47:00.000-04:00Sorry bloggernoggin you idiot. But it is true. I...Sorry bloggernoggin you idiot. But it is true. I've seen the reports myself. You just like to avoid the truth like most of your ilk. <BR/><BR/>Biological fathers kills more children by physical abuse then mothers do. Mothers generally kill their children through neglect or get charged as an accessory under endangerment laws. This has been known for decades. I think I read back in the 70s that Dr. Vincent Fontana, who is in charge of the New York Foundling Home stated this many times...<BR/><BR/>Of course it makes no difference to a child if they are dead by neglect or abuse; they are still dead. But it's necessary to put this information out there so that men don't continue posting these statistical lies about mothers and people see that men are the most violent of the sexes, even when they are fathers.NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161729626466980992006-10-24T18:40:00.000-04:002006-10-24T18:40:00.000-04:00"Some people just don't put off much in terms of s..."Some people just don't put off much in terms of signs."<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure I believe that.<BR/><BR/>Ted Bundy was alone, moving around a lot to different states. So I can well believe no one was close enough to him to see any signs. <BR/><BR/>But this guy in PA and the BTK one, I believe they showed signs but close family ignored it. Like BTK, some people are now saying he used to torture dogs with a taser when he was in charge of picking up strays...<BR/><BR/>Of course no one is going to admit these things now since they could get in trouble themselves if they did. Like even that John Couey, who murdered that kid in Florida. It turned out that he had been accused of sexually abusing his stepdaughter or a niece I believe. AND upon his divorce it was privately agreed that he was to have no contact with his own children and if he agreed to this, there would be no charges pressed.<BR/><BR/>So there are signs but people, as long as they are protected, prefer to ignore them...and the result is these killers are given free rein to kill others. John Couey is a good example of this.NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161713078242017942006-10-24T14:04:00.000-04:002006-10-24T14:04:00.000-04:00silverside said... "I've also seen evidence that n...silverside said... <BR/>"I've also seen evidence that not only are men more likely to commit shaken baby syndrome, most of the perpetrators are biological fathers."<BR/><BR/>That's not true silver and you know it, 75 to 80 percent are either step fathers or boyfriends or even babysitters. This is where the the problem lies, fathers done it, and mothers have done, it but no one want to really pin the blame on a the person that's really not bilogical culprit, it's just something to discredit a mother or a father, that's all it is, and you know it.BloggerNogginhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12503834520903753530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161699759001015312006-10-24T10:22:00.000-04:002006-10-24T10:22:00.000-04:00Even in that PA case, the wife kept insisting that...Even in that PA case, the wife kept insisting that she saw no sign. <BR/><BR/>I remember hearing the same thing from the family of the BTK killer.<BR/><BR/>And people who knew Ted Bundy (socially) always commented how pleasant he was.<BR/><BR/>Some people are apparently such accomplished psychopaths that they get away with this. Sure, we can miss the signs. Even the shrinks miss the signs. But some people just don't put off much in terms of signs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161656966942064232006-10-23T22:29:00.000-04:002006-10-23T22:29:00.000-04:00Boy that is sad then and unexpected.Why do you thi...Boy that is sad then and unexpected.<BR/><BR/>Why do you think she stayed with him then? As I have to think a guy like that was non-stop abusive during the relationship. Since I find it a little hard to believe you act like a perfectly normal human being until the day you kill your wife with a hammer...and that murder method shows a lot of anger. You must be filled with rage to kill someone like that, it's so brutal.<BR/><BR/>A lot of these guys that do this like Darren Mack and even this character in Pa who killed all those Amish girls have histories of abusing people for a while...<BR/><BR/>Like that guy in PA, they claim he wrote in his suicide note that he sexually abused two of his family members when he was 12 and they were 3 and 5 I think...and he started having dreams of doing it again...so instead of throwing himself off the nearest bridge he goes and murders about 4 or 5 other innocent kids.<BR/><BR/>Useless idiot.<BR/><BR/>I still say I don't believe that he was perfectly normal outwardly all these years. I think he showed signs that were ignored by his wife and other family members...just like that Darren Mack...enabled right up until the end by his mother and the legal establishment.<BR/><BR/>I have no use for these enablers as you already know. I consider them as bad if not worse then the ones they assist...NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161653902990474522006-10-23T21:38:00.000-04:002006-10-23T21:38:00.000-04:00Fortunately, they had no children. Everyone has to...Fortunately, they had no children. Everyone has told me what a very fine individual she was. An assistant college professor who was very active in community affairs. She definitely bucked the stereotype of the co-dependent working class wife standing by her man.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161642530860719052006-10-23T18:28:00.000-04:002006-10-23T18:28:00.000-04:00Probably another wonderful dad, like the one out i...Probably another wonderful dad, like the one out in Nevada.NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161634393263764432006-10-23T16:13:00.000-04:002006-10-23T16:13:00.000-04:00LOL!Thanks, but I think I'm too technologically in...LOL!<BR/><BR/>Thanks, but I think I'm too technologically inept to do a blog. I do a weekly column for our local paper though. However, I mostly limit myself to more or less populist bread-and-butter economic stuff. Except for one column on the FR's in New York supporting that guy in in Nevada who stabbed his wife to death and shot the judge. Hmm, wonder what ever happened to him...<BR/><BR/>Meanwhile out here in the sticks, we recently learned of the sentence meted out to the only county DV murder last year. Get this: THE DA REFUSES TO SAY! I'm thinking he got off with the minimum--15 years. 15 years for doing in your wife with a hammer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161631204176112982006-10-23T15:20:00.000-04:002006-10-23T15:20:00.000-04:00Silverside:Have you noted how many women bloggers ...Silverside:<BR/><BR/>Have you noted how many women bloggers left the blogosphere this week? Or cut back their postings due to various threats????<BR/><BR/>I've been wondering when you are going to start a blog. At least then I'll have someone to link to...NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161631093731183652006-10-23T15:18:00.000-04:002006-10-23T15:18:00.000-04:00Hi Eternal Bachelor alias anonymous said...Thanks ...Hi Eternal Bachelor alias anonymous said...<BR/><BR/>Thanks for visiting my blog.NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161630998958074422006-10-23T15:16:00.000-04:002006-10-23T15:16:00.000-04:00Yes, it doesn't surprise me...even that last repor...Yes, it doesn't surprise me...even that last report I posted shows that in most deaths of children from physical abuse fathers are the culprits. Mothers usually are nailed as accessories or involved in deaths resulting from neglect...<BR/><BR/>Not that a child cares if they are killed from abuse or neglect, of course, but I thought it was important to point out to people that men are still the more aggressive and violent of the species, even when they are fathers.NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161628185652895352006-10-23T14:29:00.000-04:002006-10-23T14:29:00.000-04:00How's THIS for the modern "mother/child" bond? LM...How's <A HREF="http://eternalbachelor.blogspot.com/2006/10/another-woman-freed-despite-admitting.html" REL="nofollow">THIS</A> for the modern "mother/child" bond? LMFAO!!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740475.post-1161627837668152092006-10-23T14:23:00.000-04:002006-10-23T14:23:00.000-04:00I've also seen evidence that not only are men more...I've also seen evidence that not only are men more likely to commit shaken baby syndrome, most of the perpetrators are biological fathers. The solution according to the powers that be: Classes for daddies! Just what we need. More women forced into the workplace for a paycheck who are forced to rely on the father or some boyfriend for child care. <BR/><BR/>In addition, note that HHS finds higher rates of child abuse among single custodial fathers than mothers.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com